"Noted," I said. Then, unable to handle my friends' looks of both astonishment and concern, I ran out of the apartment. I made it down one flight of stairs before collapsing and sitting on the landing. I buried my face in my hands and started sobbing. The grief had finally won.
A few minutes later, I heard footsteps on the stairs. Hugh sat down beside me and put his arms around me. I pressed my face to his chest and kept crying.
"You'll get over this," he said quietly.
"No. I will never get over this. I'm alone. I wish I was dead."
"No, you don't. You're too wonderful and have too many people who love you."
I lifted my head and looked at him. I'd never seen his face so compassionate, so serious - except when he'd yelled at Seth during poker. I sniffed and ran a hand over my wet eyes.
"We broke up. This is what you wanted. You didn't want me and Seth to be together."
Hugh shook his head. "I like Seth. I want you to be happy. If you could be together without all the heartache, I'd send you on with my blessing. But I don't think that's possible. I think this is best."
"You told him the only way I'd let him go is if he hurt me, if he was an ass**le. Do you think that's why he did it? Slept with Maddie? Because only something drastic would drive me away?"
Hugh looked surprised at the reference to Maddie. "I don't know, sweetie. I don't know what he was thinking."
Sighing, I leaned back into him. "I will never get over this."
"You will."
"It's going to take a lot of time."
"Well, you have a lot of time."
CHAPTER 26
New Year's Eve.
Warren, Emerald City's owner, had thrown a swank party at his house and invited the whole staff, along with about fifty others. His house was enormous, and he'd spared no expense. Waiters worked the crowd. A bartender made drinks with great flourish. A DJ spun music in the corner. It was probably the most elaborate party I'd been to all year. Everyone was having a great time.
Well, except me, naturally.
Maddie and Seth were there. Together. It was strange to see them out as a couple so openly, after all the time he and I had spent hiding our relationship. But when she'd arrived back in Seattle a few days ago, she'd made no attempts at secrecy. Everyone at the store had known within twenty-four hours, and it was still a source of much buzzing and speculation. The general consensus was that they were cute.
And, watching them, I supposed that if I weren't so intimately involved, I'd think they were cute too. Mostly they made me want to go throw up the caviar I'd just eaten. They stood together with a few other staff across the room, holding hands. Maddie glowed like a succubus, talking animatedly to Beth about something. Seth, dressed up for a change and looking gorgeous, listened with a small smile - though there was something solemn in his eyes. He looked uncomfortable, and I strongly suspected he'd been brought here at Maddie's urging. I didn't think he was the type who'd come and rub their relationship in my face, but then, I'd never thought he'd break up with me either.
Just then, he glanced up to scan the room and met my gaze. By accident or on purpose, I couldn't say. We held each other's eyes for a moment. His expression grew troubled, wistful. I don't know what mine looked like. A moment later, he turned his attention back to the others. But the small smile was gone.
"Makes you want to brush your teeth, doesn't it?"
Doug approached me, holding what I believed to be his fifth rum and coke. I pointed to it.
"What, all that sugar you're drinking?"
He grinned. "I mean my sister and Mortensen, as well you know."
I gave them one more glance, then turned back to him. "Everyone thinks they're cute."
"I guess. I can't decide how to feel." He knocked back his drink. "I mean, he's sleeping with my sister, right? I'm supposed to be, like, outraged and want to defend her honor. Or something. But part of me's thinking maybe they'll hit it off so well that she'll move in with him. And that kind of makes me...happy."
Ugh. Bad enough they were dating at all. Moving in together? I couldn't even think that far ahead. They'd only been an item for a week. I silently counted to five and tried not to say something I'd regret.
"Who can say?" I murmured vaguely.
Doug tilted his head as he regarded me. "Always figured you'd be the one going after him, what with your hero worship and his erotic stories about you." He was referring to a short story of Seth's that had appeared in a magazine not too long ago. The kinky heroine bore an uncanny - and completely coincidental - resemblance to me.
I could tell by his voice and face that Doug was joking. He'd never believed there had been anything between Seth and me. Little did he know how close to home his joke hit.
"Well," I told him. "Looks like your sister's going to be the one in the erotic stories now."
Doug paled. "Oh my God. I never thought of that." He glanced at his empty glass. "I gotta get another one."
I watched him go and felt a smile tug at my lips, despite my resolution to be miserable.
And I was definitely doing a good job at the miserable part. I didn't approach anyone at the party and only spoke a few words to those who tried to engage me in conversation. I'd already turned down several men who'd tried to fetch me a drink or get me to dance. I just wanted to be alone. Really, I shouldn't have come.
"Never thought I'd see you alone at an event like this."
I'd felt his presence behind me before I heard him. "Carter, you party crasher. I know you didn't get an invitation."
"Hey, I heard this was the place to be."
"Isn't crashing one of the seven deadly - holy shit."
The angel had stepped in front of me. His chin-length blond hair was washed and brushed, and he wore khakis and a blue polo shirt. The ensemble was utterly casual and also the nicest thing I'd ever seen him in.
He laughed, knowing what had surprised me. "I couldn't show up like I usually do. I'm still underdressed compared to you." I had on a form-fitting satin dress with a collar that went all the way up to my neck. Black. Like my mood.
"Yeah," I said, "but if we're measuring comparison to our normal ware, you're the best-dressed person in here."
"This is a great party," he said, eyeing the room. He had a drink in his hand that I swore he hadn't had a moment ago. "You don't look like you're having a very good time."
I wasn't ready to talk about that yet, not to him. Averting my eyes, I stared absentmindedly to where Doug was hitting on some woman about twenty years older than he was. The DJ's current song ended, and the guitar notes of a new one kicked up. "Sweet Home Alabama."
"Oh, f**k," I said.
"What?" asked Carter.
"I hate this song."
"Really? I've always liked it."
I sighed. "What happened to Yasmine?"
His mocking humor faded. "You know what happened to her. She belongs to Hell now. I'm sure they'll make good use of her."
"But will she do it?" I asked. "Will she really turn her back on Heaven and fight?"
"They always do." It was exactly what Vincent had said. "Once she's spent enough time shunned by other angels and denied the face of the divine...well, she'll want to fight against Heaven."
"That's stupid. It's like she's...I don't know. Like she's being forced to go bad."
"She made the decision to fall."
"She did it out of love! You're always telling me that love is the most wonderful thing in the universe."
"It is. But an angel's love must be given to the power above first, then to humanity as a whole second. It can't be bestowed on just one person - human or nephilim."
"That's stupid. I think the nephilim have it right thinking all of us are messed up." I handed my glass to a passing waitress. It had been empty for a while. Hesitantly, I brought up something that was still troubling me, something this song wouldn't let me forget. "Carter...about Nyx. Her visions...are they always true?"
"As far as I know. They don't always play out like people think, though. Why do you ask?"
"No reason. Well, I mean, just curious about what she showed me."
"Ah. Yeah, that's tricky." He frowned. "Since she was actually manipulating you, it's hard to say...I don't know everything about her. What'd she show you?"
"It's not impor - "