She stopped mid-sob. "Really?"
I sighed. "Come here."
With a sense of dread, I kissed her again. My discomfort had less to do with the act of kissing her than it did with me realizing I'd just pushed myself into dangerous energy limits. I was the one who'd need a fix before morning now. And if I got an energy fix, it was likely my dream stalker would return....
With the influx of life, Tawny was able to shape-shift away her disheveled appearance. "Thanks, Georgina! You're the best!" She started to hug me, and I jerked away.
"Just go out and get laid, okay?"
Doug stuck his head in just then, asking for my help. He didn't seem to have heard my charge to battle, thankfully. His eyes widened when he saw Tawny. I shooed her out, warning her not to forget what we'd talked about.
"Is she single?" he asked, watching her walk away. Her pleather pants were riding up.
"Yeah," I said. "Very. But she's high maintenance."
After I finished my survey of the bookstore, I went off to take care of assorted errands. When I finally made it to Seth's place, I found him lying lengthwise on his couch, laptop open as usual. He sat up and closed it when I stepped inside.
"Hey, Thetis," he said.
"Hey," I said.
I sat down beside him, and silence fell as we regarded each other. The air between us wasn't angry, but it wasn't bursting with love either. It was speculative. We were sizing each other up. He reached into the V-neck collar of my sweater, and I flinched. Then, I felt his fingers brush by the chain I'd been wearing his ring on. He pulled the ring out and ran his fingertips over the dolphin.
"Around your neck, huh? What is this, high school?"
"Might as well be," I said, "seeing as how we haven't even made it to second base yet."
He smiled and released the ring, moving his fingers up to my cheek. "Yes, we have." He sighed. "We sure do seem to be fighting a lot lately, huh?"
"Yeah." I settled back into the couch's softness. "It's not even about sex anymore."
"I noticed that. It's boring stuff, actually."
"Boring?"
He shrugged. "You know. Typical relationship stuff. Spending time with each other. Trust. Communication. Love isn't always about grand forces of the universe keeping us apart."
Unless, I thought, you considered the difference in length between a mortal life and an immortal one. I didn't know why Seth's lifespan was bothering me lately. I'd understood the complications on an intellectual level when we'd first started dating, but I hadn't really had such visceral reactions until recently. Him getting shot hadn't helped, I supposed. And speaking of which...
"I never thanked you," I told him.
"For what?"
"For risking your life for mine."
"But you can't di - "
"Yeah, yeah. We've already established that, like, a hundred times. And the wisdom - or lack thereof - of your actions aside, it was sweet and brave and...and, well, thank you."
Seth moved his hand over mine and squeezed it. "There's nothing to thank me for."
I stood up. "Well, now that we've got the sentimental stuff out of the way, let's get down to business. Take off your clothes."
Seth started. "Wai - what?"
"Well," I amended, "except for your boxers."
"Are we going to second base after all?"
"Just do it."
While he stripped, I gathered some things from his kitchen, as well as from a tote bag I'd brought. When I returned to the living room, he was sitting in the center of the couch in boxers only. They were soft gray flannel. Adorable.
I sat down on the floor in front of him, moving a bowl of warm water beside me. After dipping a washcloth into the water, I slowly began rubbing it over his feet.
Seth was quiet for several moments. Then: "You getting Biblical on me? Didn't somebody wash Jesus' feet?"
I rewet the cloth and began moving up one of his legs. "Don't worry," I told him. "I don't expect you to turn this water into wine. At least not until I'm done." I moved the washcloth over Seth's calf. It was leanly muscled, covered in tawny brown hair. "The foot washing tradition is bigger than the Bible. You find it everywhere, long before New Testament times, in lots of other cultures. Kings. Generals. They all got this treatment."
"You wash a lot of kings' and generals' feet?" he teased.
"Yeah, actually."
"Oh. Well. I don't think I'm really in that league."
I smiled and moved on to the other calf. "Not true. Poets and bards used to have as much prestige as kings. Lots of them got this too."
"I miss the good old days. Now we're lucky if we get paid."
I washed his thigh, careful to avoid the bandaged wound. "Yeah, true. But people also don't threaten to behead you if they don't like what you wrote."
"You obviously haven't read some of my reviews."
"I only read the good ones."
I finished both legs and dropped the washcloth into the water. I scooted the bowl away. Seth started to get up, but I shooed him back down.
"Nope. Not finished." I reached for a bottle of massage oil I'd brought and poured some on my hands. It smelled like almonds. "That was just to get you clean."
With as much deliberation as I'd performed the washing, I massaged the oil into his skin, starting with his feet once again. Washing can be sensual, but rubbing someone with oil is doubly so. Triple, even. The light banter faded between us. Seth simply watched, wonder and arousal on his face as I worked my way up. And as I met his gaze, I saw more than just those feelings. The love in his eyes was so powerful, I needed to look away. Seth had an amazing grasp of the English language, but there were days when that skill was nothing compared to what he told me in his looks.
When I finished his legs, I climbed up behind him on the couch and worked on his back and chest too. I'd been giving massages almost as long as I'd been dancing. I knew exactly what to do, knew where all the muscle groups were and how to unkink them. Seth had a lot of stiffness and knots in his back, either from bad laptop posture or stress. Maybe both.
At last, the job was complete. Heedless of oil on me or the couch, he leaned back and pulled me to his chest. My cheek rested on his smooth, slick skin, and the scent of almond and Seth enveloped me.
"Ah, Georgina," he sighed. "I wish I could return that."
"I'll just pretend you did."
He sighed again. "I hate the pretending."
"Yeah."
"I mean it. Really hate it."
The vehemence in his voice startled me. I lifted my head up. "You okay?"
"Yeah...I'm just...I don't know." He shook his head. "Frustrated, I guess."
"Sexually frustrated?"
"Sure...but it's more than that. Do you ever think about us...just, you know, doing it maybe once?"
"No," I said immediately. "Absolutely not."
"I'd take the risk."
"The shooting addled your brain. You've always been the strong one, remember?"
"The shooting's made me think about what life means, that's all." He sounded just like Maddie. How could such a foolish gesture on his part be inspiring so many people? Was I too jaded? Could I no longer relate to humans? "And I mean, I can't even reciprocate a simple massage. You perform all the time for me...but what do you get? You must be the one who's sexually frustrated. The stuff you do on the side...well, that doesn't matter. Sometimes I think Hugh was right. You do suffer more than me."
"No, I don't. The sex stuff bugs me, but I can handle it."
"I hope I can," said Seth. "When I was in the hospital, I had this weird moment where I started thinking about how I write about all these action-packed things but don't live any of it. O'Neill has dozens of great romances, but me? I can't even have one."
"It sucks," I agreed. "But with the risks...well. We know this is how it has to be."
"What about the rest?"
"Hmm?"
Seth shifted slightly so that he could look into my face. "Do you really think about me dying? Do you worry about me?"
"Sometimes."
"Am I going to cause you pain in the end?"
"No," I said breezily. "Of course not."
He pulled me back to his chest. "I love you, Georgina. You give me more joy than I ever expected to find in this life. I want to be with you..." He ran a hand through my hair, tangling it in his fingers. "But not if it's going to do more harm than good. I don't want you to hurt. I don't want you to spend the rest of my life worrying about my body and my soul. I don't want you to cry when I'm gone."