"Dreams? What are you talking about?"
"What are you - oh, Jesus Christ. Are you asking me out?"
"Of course I am. What the f**k would El Gaucho have to do with those dreams?"
I groaned. "I can't believe this. I actually thought you had something useful for me."
"I'm trying to be nice here! Look, the dreams are a lost cause, but we aren't. You were right when you said I was being sleazy and treating you like you were cheap. So give me a break! I'm trying to have sex with you the right way."
I found this even freakier than when Dante had suggested the place with the happy hour beer. "I don't want to have sex with you, okay? I want your help with my problems. And how many times do I have to tell you that I have a boyfriend?"
"As many times as you want. I just don't buy that that's a real relationship. Particularly after you sold yourself for seventeen-hundred dollars last night."
"How do you know about that?"
"It was in the paper."
"That date doesn't count."
"Can a date with me not count?"
"No! For the last time, I have a boyfriend. I'm going out with him tonight."
"To El Gaucho?"
I hung up.
I was working my hair over with a curling iron later on when I heard knocking at my front door. Walking toward the living room, I felt immortal signatures on the other side. Fortunately, there was nothing musky or slimy here. These were familiar and welcome.
Of course, they weren't exactly welcome tonight.
"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, opening the door to admit Peter, Cody, and Hugh. My three stooges. The dwarves to my Snow White. "And why do you always show up when I'm about to go out?"
Like always, they made themselves comfortable in my living room without any further invitation. Cody handed me a slip that had been stuck to the door from my building's office manager, saying I had a package. I made a mental note to pick it up the next time the office was open.
"We're going over to that place that makes the unholy margaritas," he said. "Thought we'd stop by and see if you wanted to go."
"And here you are, ungrateful and mean," said Peter. He glanced around the living room. "I don't see a Christmas tree here."
Hugh was eyeing my red-silk robe. "You going out in that?"
"Of course not. I'm just getting ready, that's all."
The three of them exchanged looks.
"Is it business or Seth?" asked Hugh.
"Seth."
"Damn it," swore Peter. He pulled some crumpled money out of his pocket and handed it to Hugh.
"You guys bet on my love life?"
"Yeah," said Hugh. "All the time. You should see the stakes we've got riding on when you and Seth are finally going to sleep together."
"Well, keep 'em riding, cowboy. It's not going to happen." I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall near my TV. "Of course, Niphon's trying pretty hard to make it happen. Is he in on the bet?"
"Not yet. What's he doing?" asked Cody.
I told them about the offer Niphon had made for Seth's soul. To my surprise, they didn't share my shock and outrage.
"I don't know," said Hugh slowly. "I've kind of thought about that before."
I gaped. "Thought about what before? Buying Seth's soul?"
"Sure. It's what I do, and hey, if it'd help you..."
"Oh dear lord."
"But if you decide to do it," said Hugh warningly, "come to me first. I can beat any offer Niphon makes."
"If you broker the deal, you're disqualified for the bet," warned Peter.
"Hey!" cried Hugh. "That's not right."
"Sure it is. You'd have an unfair advantage - "
"Christ. Be quiet, all of you. I can't believe you guys are seriously talking about buying my boyfriend's - "
A new signature swept through to us. A scent liked candied apples. Warm honey on the skin.
"Tawny," we all said in unison.
I opened the door, and Tawny threw herself into my arms, bawling. I yelped and tried not to fall over.
"Oh, Georgina," she sobbed, mascara running in black rivers down her cheeks. "I'm never going to do it. Never ever ever."
I tried to pull out of her Amazonian embrace. "There, there," I said weakly. "I'm sure you will."
Sniffling, she stepped away and ran a hand over her eyes, making the mascara situation even worse. "No, I can't. I've tried and tried...nothing works."
I glanced over at the guys. They were all looking at me expectantly, like I should be able to explain how one succubus couldn't get laid. I doubted anyone could, though.
"Okay," I said at last. "Calm down, and we'll get to the bottom of it. But first, pull yourself together. You're a mess."
"I can't," she wailed.
"You're thinking like a human," I chastised. "You can shape-shift that makeup mess away."
"No," she said more adamantly. "You don't understand. I can't."
I stared at her, puzzled, then I understood. It was nearly impossible to see, but a faint shimmer was fading in and out around her body. She was having trouble holding this form. Her energy was so low that she was losing her shape-shifting power.
"Whoa," I said. I'd never seen a succubus that bad. I'd been that low once, but it had been after engaging in a major battle of shape-shifting.
Tears started welling up in her eyes again. "What's going to happen? What if I run out and - " On and on she went.
I sighed. There is a moment in every girl's life when she must choose between the lesser of evils. When you're a succubus, those moments come quite often. And right now, I had to choose. I could risk Niphon never leaving town or I could kiss Tawny.
Lesser of evils.
Standing on my tiptoes, I pressed my lips to hers and cut off her babbling. Her lips tasted like bubble gum, probably from the lip gloss. It wasn't a big kiss or anything - barely any tongue - but it was enough. A surge of power poured out of me and into her. Breaking the kiss, I stepped away and looked at her. Her form had stabilized. Meanwhile, I was now down even more in my own energy, but nowhere near the low she'd just experienced.
Her blue eyes widened to an impossible size. "How...what was that?"
"A kiss," I said dryly. "Something you've apparently got to learn about too." Seeing her still-stunned look, I shook my head. "We're vessels for power and life, Tawny. Usually, it passes into our bodies, but sometimes it can be transferred out to other creatures. Succubi and incubi can share it with each other. What I just gave you should keep you going a little longer."
"I don't know," said Cody suddenly. "I think you should give her some more, just to be safe."
Tawny touched her lips, like she could still feel my kiss. "Wow." Her form shifted, and the mascara mess vanished. Her normal, eerily perfect face reappeared.
I sat down on the arm of the couch, near Peter. "Okay. Now let's figure out how in the world this is even possible. What happened to Nick the auctioneer? You guys seemed pretty close last night."
"Well," she mumbled, staring down at her feet. "That kind of fell apart."
"How could it fall apart? He was drooling all over you!"
"Yeah, but he had to stay and close up there, so we couldn't go out last night. I left without him. Today, I called to set up a date, and he said he didn't want to. That he was cool just giving the money to charity and not to bother with anything else."
"He said that?" I asked incredulously. I eyed her suspiciously. "What did you say to him beforehand?"
"What do you mean?"
"Did you just call and ask him out right away?"
"Well, no...we made small talk. Not that it did much good. He seemed kind of bored by the end."
Surprise, surprise. Tawny didn't strike me as the world's greatest conversationalist. I could only imagine what she must have babbled about to scare him off.
"Okay," I said, disappointed. Nick had seemed like a sure thing. "Maybe you shouldn't, like, talk to them. What about the strip club job? Did you follow up on that?"
She jerked her head up and looked like she might cry again. "I tried! They said I wasn't qualified."
Even the guys couldn't stay out of this now.
"How can you not qualify for a job as a stripper?" asked Cody.