At least I look like I belong. Lauren surveyed the other guests mingling in the ballroom. She’d picked the Dolce & Gabbana gown Callie gave her for her birthday for the fundraiser. In fact, she’d seen two other women here wearing dresses by the same designer. Shifting her weight to the other foot, she searched for a familiar face among the sea of beautiful well-dressed people. Already she felt out of place, but by standing alone the feeling only intensified. She’d attended several similar fundraisers as Callie’s guest in the past. She’d met Kevin at the last one. Tonight, however, she felt more uncomfortable than she had in a while. Kevin’s words the night she returned his ring sat in the forefront of her mind. She did only get invited to events like these because of her friendship with Callie. Before he’d said it, she hadn’t considered it. Now as she looked around, the truth sank in.
“I thought I’d see you here tonight.”
Lauren turned toward the familiar voice. Anyone who could afford a ticket was welcome; still the sight of Kevin surprised her. He’d never struck her as much of a philanthropist. He’d only been at the last fundraiser because his mom wanted someone to accompany her and his father had been sick. “How are you?” Lauren smiled.
“Good, but busy. I spent last week in New Jersey. What about you? Are you here alone tonight?”
“Yes. I got here yesterday. Sara wanted help with some plans for a party.”
Kevin’s arm brushed against hers when he moved closer. “I’ve been thinking a lot about you. I miss you, Lauren. Let’s start over. Have dinner with me this week.” He brushed a hand down her neck, and Lauren took a step back before she realized she’d done it.
“We can make things work between us.” He closed the new gap between them. “My offer still stands.” His voice turned seductive. “We make sense together.”
Lauren studied Kevin and then looked around the ballroom again. Despite her previous rejection, Kevin wanted her back. Yet even though Kevin offered her a place in the society around her, a chance to no longer just be the tag-along, but to belong, she didn’t want it. At the beginning of their relationship, perhaps she had, but what she truly wanted was love. If that meant she never attended another event like this, that was fine.
“I’m sorry, Kevin, but nothing has changed. The kind of marriage you want doesn’t work for me.”
Kevin’s nostrils flared, and the muscle in his jaw flexed. “You won’t get another chance, Lauren. Once I leave tonight, I won’t be back. “
How had she missed his conceit before? Had he done a better job of hiding it or had she intentionally overlooked it? Either way, it didn’t matter. Unlike Nate, Kevin never really knew her. “I know, Kevin. If you’ll excuse me, I need some fresh air. It was good to see you again. Enjoy the evening.”
Lauren stepped around Kevin without a backward glance, as snippets from each conversation she’d had that weekend played over in her head. She had allowed the pain from the past to cloud her judgment. She realized that now.
Making her way through the crowd, she spotted Charlie and Jake dancing. With their arms around each other, they moved as one, oblivious to the crowd around them. At a cocktail table along the perimeter, Sara and Christopher sat so close together she was practically in his lap, while their hands were clasped together on the table. Across from them, Dylan sat with an arm around Callie’s shoulders.
A knot of pain started in the center of her chest and radiated outward as she watched the other couples. She wanted what they all had and not just with anyone. The same love reflected in these couples burned inside her for Nate. No matter what else happened, he’d always be the one. A move to Virginia was a small sacrifice when she considered the alternative.
***
Two hours after leaving Cliff House Sunday morning, with a promise to call Callie and let her know how things went, Lauren pulled into the driveway at Nate’s apartment. She was halfway up the steps near the garage when Mrs. Callahan came out of her house.
“Lauren, what you doing here?” She stopped at the bottom of the steps.
Her reason for being there seemed obvious. “I’m here to see Nate.”
“Why would he be here, dear? Isn’t he living with you now?”
Had he moved back into the apartment without telling his mom? Did she not know the engagement was off? Since she planned to rectify her mistake, she decided not to mention it now. Thinking fast, she came up with an excuse to explain her presence. “He mentioned that he might pick up more of his stuff today while I was in Newport. I thought he might still be here. I haven’t stopped home yet.”
“No, I haven’t seen him all weekend. Say hi to him for me when you see him. And maybe one night this week the two of you can come over for a cookout and fill me in on the wedding plans.”
Lauren walked back down the stairs and gave the woman a quick hug. “Sounds good. How about Wednesday night?”
“I’ll invite Ryan over, too,” Mrs. Callahan said, smiling. With plans to have dinner with his parents later in the week decided, Lauren headed for home.
Nate’s Mustang was parked in the garage when Lauren pulled in. Should’ve known. Why she thought he wouldn’t stick around and try to change her mind was beyond her. After all this time she should know Nate Callahan better than that. Even though he’d gone against her wishes, she didn’t mind. It showed how much he loved her and how determined he was to keep her in his life.
Lauren walked into her kitchen and heard the lead character from one of Nate’s favorite action movies giving the villain an ultimatum in the living room, but otherwise the house remained silent. Not even Maggie and JoJo came into the kitchen.
“Hello.” Silence answered as she dropped her purse and crossed into the living room. In the doorway she paused, taking in the sight before her. Nate was stretched out on the couch, an arm behind his head, looking more delectable than he had any right to. Maggie slept down by his feet, while JoJo had managed to sandwich herself between Nate and the couch cushions. If she came home to a sight like this every day for the next fifty years, she’d be a very happy woman, no matter where they lived.
Leaning down she nudged his shoulder. “Nate.” When he didn’t respond, she nudged him again and spoke a little louder.
Nate blinked a couple of times. Then his hazel-blue eyes locked on hers. “You’re home.” He pulled himself up and swung his legs off the couch. “What—”
“I need—” she said at the same time.
“Don’t say you need me to leave.” Nate got out before she finished her sentence. “That’s not happening.”
“Nate, I—”
“Don’t say it. Hear me out first.” He stood and put a hand on each of her shoulders as if to hold her in place. “If you don’t want to move, that’s fine. I won’t try for HRT. You’re a hell of a lot more important to me than that. Than anything, in fact. I screwed up once before with you, and I’m not doing it again. If you need me to prove it to you then I will. Just tell me how.”
Tears prickled the back of her eyes. He might not use the most flowery words, but what he said went straight to her heart. “Can I talk now?” she asked with a sniffle.
Nate gave her a stiff nod, his mouth set in a frown.
“Thursday night I overreacted. Your news blindsided me. It brought back memories of when you left after high school. All the emotions I felt then shot through me Thursday night. It was like living a nightmare all over again.”
Guilt clouded his expression, but he maintained eye contact.
“Now that the shock has worn off, I realize it doesn’t matter where we are. And you were right, I have wanted to try living somewhere else, but I have never had any reason to move.”She placed her hands on either side of his face.”I’m looking forward to moving.”
She expected a radiant smile from him. All she got was a slight curve of the lips.
“Are you sure? If I do this, I could be away for long periods of time. There is constant training, and other agents tell me it can be hard on relationships.”
He’d turned on the movie to pass the time until Lauren came home. He’d prepared a speech, but as it turned out it wasn’t necessary. She’d reached the same conclusion he wanted on her own. Even so, he needed her to fully understand what she was agreeing to. No job was worth risking losing her all over again. All she had to do was say the word and his ass would stay in Boston.
“Please. I can take anything the FBI throws at me.” She tossed him a saucy grin, making the dimple in her cheek appear.
He tightened his grip on her shoulders. “I’m serious. Divorce rates are high among HRT agents.”
Her grin disappeared. “I’m serious, too. Whatever comes up, we will deal with it. That’s what married couples do.”