“No, you’re right.” Luc snapped out of the only stupor I’d ever seen him in. “This isn’t second nature to you, and there’d be no reason for you to even try it, especially considering what has happened. I should’ve considered that.”
“Damn straight,” I muttered, but I was feeling kind of dumb now. Like I should’ve known to have at least tried.
God, I was worse than baby Luxen everywhere. I didn’t even know what the Source felt like and—
“You’re not dumb.” Luc was suddenly in front of me, his hands clasping my cheeks. “You’re not worse than a baby Luxen.”
I wasn’t so sure about that.
“If anything, I should’ve figured this out.” His eyes searched mine. “All of this is new to you, and barely any time has passed. There is nothing wrong with you. Okay?”
I nodded.
Grayson was slowly shaking his head, but he wisely kept his mouth shut.
Dipping his head, Luc pressed his forehead against mine. “You’ve got this. I know you do.” He touched his lips to mine, the kiss short but so incredibly sweet. Sliding his hands off my cheeks, he backed off. “This is actually good news.”
I glanced at Grayson. He was staring at one of the dirty windows, the Blow Pop gone. “How is this good news?”
“Because this may mean you can use the Source and control it intentionally,” Luc explained. “And if that’s the case, that’s a big hole in your ‘only the Daedalus can control your abilities’ theory.”
“Her what?” Grayson was focused on us again.
As Luc explained to Grayson my theory about Dasher being the key to my control, or at least attempted to, I thought about how if Luc was right, this would be a huge hole, but …
Staring down at my plain old hand, I didn’t think about the weird effect I’d seen while at Kat’s or what the Source looked like when Luc summoned it. Could it really be that simple? I almost couldn’t wrap my head around it, but what if it was? I just had to picture it and that was it?
A sense of rightness swept through me as I opened and closed my hand. From what I knew, that was what I’d done in the woods. The images of what I wanted had flickered through my head so fast, and the Source had responded even faster, replicating what I saw. With April, it hadn’t been the Source I’d used. It had been physical training, and I’d been on autopilot, my sense of self taking a back seat.
The hum in the center of my chest increased, almost as if it knew what I were thinking. Could that be why I’d felt more restless? It wanted to be used? But what if I did and it triggered something in me that I couldn’t control?
Fear was a shadow pressing on my back, and that restless buzz intensified. If I didn’t try because of what might happen, then what would happen?
Nothing.
Nothing good was what would happen. I would be worse than useless, because I would be choosing to do nothing.
I was not going to be useless.
Determination and absolute refusal to sit back and do nothing became a fuel that burned away the fear. The hum in my chest pulsed like a faint heart palpitation. What I was feeling wasn’t anxiety or restlessness. It was power—power building inside me. And if that were true, was me not using the Source possibly leading to situations like the night I’d had a nightmare, when I’d hit critical mass? I didn’t know, but I closed my eyes. In my mind’s eye, I saw Luc’s hand, crackling with the Source, and then I replaced his hand with mine, and I willed it to happen.12A spark.
That’s what it felt like, like striking a match. A tingling sensation swept outward in a rush, shooting down my right arm. All of it could’ve been my imagination or wild, wishful thinking, but if it was, it was some of the most realistic imagining I’d ever had.
“Peaches? Open your eyes and look.”
I did just that, finding both Luc and Grayson staring at me.
“Not at me.” Luc’s smile was full of reassuring warmth, and when his gaze met mine, there was the kind of heat in his eyes that made me think of hard kisses and soft touches, and there was also everything he’d never spoken.
Why in that moment I realized Luc had never actually said those three simple yet powerful words was beyond me, but I did. I didn’t need those words when I could see them in the way he looked at me, when I could feel them in every one of his actions.
Drawing a shallow breath, I looked down at my hand, and I wanted to shout hallelujah upon what I saw even if I couldn’t help but notice how different it was from when Luc did this.