Fuck.
She pulls out the silver bullet, the clear cord wrapped around and around the attached remote neatly.
She tosses the bag onto the nightstand, unwraps the bullet, and refuses to look at me, even when I shut my book and place it on my own side table along with her Kindle. She clicks the button on the black remote, and the silver bullet comes to life on the end of the cord, my cock instantly going rigid at the sound, immediately recalling the mental snapshot I took the last time I heard it.
Still purposefully ignoring me next to her, she reaches both arms beneath the sheets, and her knees come up and spread, and my heart picks up its pace, because I know what it looks like right now under those covers. I know, because I saw her in this exact position, only on top of her comforter in the guest room.
But she’s not alone in her guest room any longer. She’s right next to me, in my bed, her body hidden, but all I’d have to do is reach over and I’d feel what she’s doing.
I watch as she closes her eyes, and I can tell the moment the vibrator hits her clit, because her lips part and her head presses roughly into the pillow. Her delicate brows furrow, and soon, her face is pinched in concentration, and I know that desperation and frustration will quickly follow.
“Alexa, turn master light off and lamp two on,” I order, and the little double-ding sounds as the lighting in the room dims thanks to my smart-plugs connected to my voice-activated system. I pull up my side of the covers and slide to my left, closer to her, turning on my side to face her and sitting up on my left elbow. Lifting my right hand, I trace my middle fingertip oh-so-gently from the middle of her forehead, over her puckered brow, down over the bridge of her straight nose, past her lips as I pull the bottom one down, watching it snap back into place as I glide along her jawline.
Her face starts to relax as I continue to just gently run my fingertip along her perfectly feminine features, and I whisper, “That’s a good girl, goddess. Just relax. If you go into pleasuring yourself with the immediate thought that it’s not going to work, then it’s not.”
She swallows and nods, her eyes still closed as her body twitches this way and that. I run my palm down her arm and follow it beneath the covers and into her shorts, and she gasps as my hand covers the one holding the bullet.
“This is too much for you, goddess. Too stimulating. That’s why you can’t enjoy it when your mind finally allows your orgasm to come.” I follow the cord to where the remote has fallen next to her hip, and I click the button, shutting it off.
She opens her eyes, but she doesn’t complain that I’ve stopped her. No, her eyes aren’t angry or even filled with that haughtiness I love. Her eyes are pleading, begging me to give her relief. But I’m not going to do that. At least not yet.
I look her straight in the eyes and say low and clear, “There is nothing in this world I look forward to more than the moment I finally get to make love to you.” She must hear the “but” in my tone, because the tiny bit of hope I saw in her face disappears. “But first, right now, you feel helpless in finding your own pleasure. You were ashamed of the fact that you’re twenty-seven and know nothing about your own body. But you never want to be dependent on another person again, even if it’s for something like finding release, climaxing. If I were to make love to you right now, that’s what would happen, and you’d never learn to do it yourself. And giving yourself pleasure and making yourself come is one skill everyone should know.”
She nods, shallow and quick, her chin wobbling. “Okay.” She pulls in a stuttered breath. “Will you please teach me?”
I scoot even closer so I can look down into her beautiful, hopeful face, and she holds my eyes with hers, looking at me like I’m her savior, like I could be the one to fight all her demons and save her from her misery. But what she doesn’t realize, is she’s about to learn to do all that herself. And then she won’t need me, but she’ll want me, which is so fucking much better.
“I’d be honored, goddess.” I lean down and kiss her when the look of relief takes over everything else on her face, and pride swells in my chest that she doesn’t even second-guess if I’ll be able to or not. In her mind, she just believes. And that above everything else is what gives me hope that I can heal her heart enough that she could fall in love with me.