When I’d hung up, I stared at the white wall across from my bed for a very long time as if it could give me the answers I needed.
The people I loved the most would risk everything to keep me safe, to save me from a loveless marriage, but at what cost?
Romero’d sounded as if he didn’t care at all that he might lose everything. I knew he loved the Famiglia, was proud to be a part of it. He loved this life, but he’d have to leave it behind if he helped me escape this marriage. Luca wouldn’t risk war. His people would mutiny. He’d have no choice but to give up Romero and hand him over to the Outfit. Aria might destroy her marriage if she tried to blackmail Luca into helping me. He’d forgiven her once for betraying him, but would he do it again?
Could I risk everyone’s happiness for my own?
Someone hammered against my door and then Father stepped in without warning. I stood immediately. His expression was thunderous. “What did you tell your sister? Why are she and Luca trying to get involved in our family? Did you really think they could make me change my mind about your wedding?”
“They want to help because they’re worried about me.”
“I don’t care!” he roared. “You are going to marry Benito, end of story.”
“I can’t,” I said desperately.
“You can and you will.”
“I’m not a virgin anymore. If you don’t want people to find out you can’t let me marry Benito!” I blurted.
Father stormed toward me, gripped my arms and pushed me against the wall. The back of my head rang from the impact.
“What did you say?” he snarled.
I gaped up into his menacing face.
He shook me hard until my vision turned blurry. Suddenly Fabi raced into the room. He tore at Father’s arm, trying to free me, but Father lashed out. Fabi landed on the floor, his face flashing with pain.
“Go back to your room, boy. Now, or I swear I’ll make you regret it.”
My arms hurt from Father’s grip, but I gave Fabi a small nod. I wanted him to leave. He didn’t need to get into trouble because of me. Fabi struggled to his feet and after a moment of hesitation, he limped out of my room. When he was out of view, Father turned back around to me.
I quivered.
“Tell me the truth.”
I couldn’t talk. I regretted ever having mentioned anything. Father really looked as if he wanted to kill me.
He slapped me hard across the face but didn’t release me. “Who was it? Who turned you into a little whore? Someone from the Famiglia, wasn’t it?”
Tears burned in my eyes but I didn’t cry. I couldn’t tell Father the truth. “No,” I said quickly. “I met him in a club, it’s no one you know.”
“I don’t believe a fucking word you say, you disgusting slut. And it doesn’t matter. You will marry Benito and you’ll scream like a little scared virgin in your wedding night so he doesn’t doubt your innocence. I swear, if you ruin this for me, I’ll break every bone in your body.” He let me go and stepped back, eyes hateful. “And if you try to get out of this wedding, and maybe even ask your sisters for help, believe me, war between the Outfit and the Famiglia is only the beginning. I’ll personally hunt you and your sisters down, and then I’ll figure out who fucked you and skin that asshole alive. Do you understand?”
I gave a jerky nod. Father looked like he wanted to spit on me. Instead he turned on his heel and walked out.
I slumped to the ground. Everything was really over now. I couldn’t allow Father to hurt everyone I loved only because I wanted to get out of my wedding with Benito. The image of Father’s hateful eyes seemed burned into my brain.
If I married Benito, the Outfit and Famiglia would keep working together. Fabi would be safer, everyone would be safer. I’d be able to see my sisters and Fabi at least occasionally and Romero could keep working for Luca. He’d get over me and find someone else.
And I? Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. I didn’t even know Benito. Maybe he wasn’t a horrible guy. And it wasn’t like I hadn’t gotten a taste of happiness. Being with Romero had been amazing. It was something I’d never regret and would always cherish. It was time to do the right thing. Maria was accepting her fate. So many girls had before me. I should too, if only to keep my loved ones safe.
Once I’d made up my mind, I felt relief, then deep sadness. I lied down but sleep wouldn’t come. I remembered the longing in Mother’s eyes before her death and couldn’t help but wonder if the same look would be in my eyes one day.
***
Romero
I’d have never thought I’d ever consider going against the Famiglia, but I could not watch Lily getting married to that man. She was mine and I didn’t care what I’d have to do to keep it that way. Luca had been eying me almost all day yesterday. He’d never looked at me with true suspicion in his eyes before. I had to admit it hurt to know he didn’t trust me anymore, and worse that he had every right to be wary of me. I’d go against his direct orders, break my oath, and betray the people who’d been as close, maybe even closer than my own family. When I came to Luca’s and Aria’s penthouse that morning, I saw In Luca’s gaze that he knew he’d lost me. Another Capo might have eliminated me right then to prevent worse. Aria gave me an encouraging smile but I didn’t miss that Luca left without kissing her. That never happened and was a fucking bad sign.
As soon as I could I called Lily. The phone rang almost two dozen times before I gave up. Aria shot me a worried look. “Maybe she’s still having breakfast with Fabi and Father.”