I was listening intently, waiting for him to continue.
And when he did, my heart broke.
“I laid there for nearly two hours before Perdita finally showed,” he said. “Normally, the dragon finds you well before the change, drawn to you by your scent.”
“And what happened that Perdita didn’t find you that fast?” I asked.
He sat down on the cool grass, then laid down until he could see the sky above him.
“Perdita didn’t want to come,” he said.
“Why?” I gasped.
“I wasn’t in a good place. I was an asshole to the tenth degree. I was rude, offensive, and hated everyone. And she saw that. Saw how I treated people. Didn’t want to come to me, but the pull was too strong, and in the end she did come, even though she didn’t want to,” he said to the sky.
I looked down at him, but he was completely oblivious to my gaze, instead staring at the sky, contemplating memories that I couldn’t see.
“That’s sad,” I admitted, taking a seat beside him.
I ran my hand down the leathery feeling wings of the closest dragon and laughed when he started to make a sound that was perilously close to a purr.
We sat like that in silence for a few long minutes while he watched the clouds pass overhead.
“Perdita got over it. But she didn’t give all her tricks to me at first. Refused to teach me almost all of it. I had to work on it all on my own, and I’m still not convinced that she isn’t keeping things from me,” he admitted.
“Haven’t you proven yourself trustworthy yet? I asked.
He sighed.
“She said, in the beginning, that I’d have to earn every piece of information she had, and, apparently, I’m not done earning it yet. I’m twenty fucking eight, and I still feel like I’m that nineteen-year-old shithead who was so lost he couldn’t ever be found,” he closed his eyes.
“Seems like you’ve turned your life around. From what I’ve learned from Blythe, she loves you. Your brothers love you. Your sister as well. I don’t hear much about your mother, but I’m sure I will eventually. You’re an amazing computer whiz, and I haven’t seen a day that has gone by that you haven’t come out here and spent time with the little terrors. What is there to find?” I asked.
He shrugged.
“Me. I still feel like I’m paying for sins that I committed ten years ago. Perdita and my family never let me forget that I used to be a fuck up. But,” he placed his hands under his head. “Seems Perdita’s finally happy that I chose correctly for once.”
I cocked my head slightly to the side.
“Chose correctly?” I asked.
His eyes opened, and those beautiful green orbs stared through my soul.
“You. I chose you correctly,” he said.
Confusion clouded my features. “But I thought you didn’t choose me?”
“I didn’t. You’re right. But according to her, I have the correct attitude when it comes to you. And, apparently, letting you choose the pace is the right way to go about having a relationship such as the one we have,” he informed me.
“Oh,” I said. “So you letting me call all the shots made Perdita happy. Got it.”
“That first week that I came into my powers were a nightmare. Keifer didn’t help me, either. It was like I was all alone. I never saw Perdita again for another six months, although I always felt her close,” he said. “It was torture.”
“I read about the Meridian and how dragons had to be around it to keep their eternal life. Is that the same with you and her?” I asked. “Do you have to be around her or you’ll die?”
He shook his head. “No. But it’s uncomfortable. It’s like I have this well of knowledge, with no way to tap into it. She centers me, and I center her. It was a little bit of torture for us both when she stayed away that long.”
I leaned down until I was leaning on his strong, washboard abs, and stared at him until he opened his eyes.
“You’re a good man, Nikolai. You’ve proven that to me for months now. The majority of which I wasn’t even awake. You’ve protected me. Sheltered me. Saved me. In my book, it doesn’t matter what you used to be. All that matters is what you are now,” I said. “You know I used to be Amish, right?”
He nodded.
“I hated my life. Not that it was a bad life, per se, but it wasn’t something I could see myself doing for the rest of my life,” I said. “I woke up the day of my sixteenth birthday, and knew I wouldn’t be able to stay there anymore. Technically, I still had time to spread my wings, so to speak, and then be baptized. However, after my first ever movie, I realized I wasn’t going to be able to do it anymore.