“This is crazy!”
“But I promise, Lacey, I will be back one day.”
“How? When?” She frowned. “Why?”
“Why? Because I’m not giving up on us.”
Her eyes widened. “Are you saying that you want a long-distance relationship?”
“Yes,” he said as he reached for her. “We did it before when you lived in St. Louis.”
She snatched her hands back. “That wasn’t what it was. You kept visiting me because you couldn’t stay away.”
“It started out that way.”
“And then you visited more frequently. Your trips were longer. But you never made the commitment.”
“I was faithful to you.” His eyes flashed with anger. “I haven’t been interested in another woman since I met you.”
“We weren’t living together. Your main residence was somewhere else. And it was the same in Rudaynah. We were in the same country, the same city, but we lived separately.”
“So what?”
Lacey crossed her arms and hesitated. She wasn’t asking for marriage, and she wasn’t asking for forever, but she knew she might be asking for too much. “If you want to be with me, then you have to make the commitment. You have to live with me.”
“We can’t.” His answer was automatic.
“You mean, you can’t.”
“I just explained why I can’t,” Hafiz said. “If you expect a commitment from me, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.”
“And I don’t mean living in the same town or in the same hemisphere,” she continued. “We will share a home and live as a couple.”
“You can’t return to Rudaynah.”
“I know.” She rolled her shoulders back and met his gaze. “You will live elsewhere.”
“You mean leave the sultanate?” He angrily barked out the word, but she could see the fear in his eyes. The fear of losing her again. “Do you understand what you are asking of me?” He splayed his hands in the air.
“Yes, I’m asking to you to make a choice.” And she had a feeling that she was setting herself up for rejection. “You asked me to make the same choice when I moved to Rudaynah.”
“That is different. You didn’t have obligations that tied you down to one place.”
“It’s not different. I made a choice of staying home or being with you. I chose you.”
Hafiz took a deep breath. “Lacey,” he said quietly, “I wish I could live with you. You are the only woman I’ve ever loved.”
“But you don’t want anyone to know it.” She felt the first tear drip from her eyelashes, and she dashed it away with the side of her hand. “You love me as long as nothing is expected of you.”
“That is not true.” Hafiz’s voice was gruff. “I want to take care of you. I want to be with you. Share a life together.”
“You mean share part of your life,” Lacey said. “You want to give me the occasional day or weekend. That’s not good enough. I want it all.”
He splayed his hands in the air. “You are asking me to do the impossible.”
“Then there is nothing you can do but—” her breath hitched in her throat “—walk away.”
Hafiz stared at her with incredulity. “I tried to do that, but I can’t. I won’t!”
“You have to,” she pleaded, her tears falling unchecked. “If you really love me, if you really want the best for me, you will.”
“What’s best?” He flinched as if she slapped him. “Suddenly I’m not good for you?”
“You have to set me free.” She didn’t realize how hard it would be to say those words. Hafiz’s devastated look made her want to snatch them back. It took all of her courage to continue. “Let me find a life where my needs are equal to everyone else’s.”
“What do you—” Hafiz’s eyes lit with brutal understanding, and he recoiled from her. “You mean you want to find another man,” he spat out.
“If it comes to that.” Lacey knew it wasn’t possible, but she couldn’t let Hafiz know that, or he would continue to pursue her. “I need someone in my life who will put me first, just like I place him first. I can’t have that kind of life with you.”