I get up and go over to ask her, “What are you doing?”
She smiles at me. “I’m your new PA. Isn’t this exciting?”
I don’t say a word to her. Instead, I march right over to Barbara’s office. The door is open, so I just walk in. “What the fuck is Carmen doing?”
“She’s your new PA. Not only did Lauren quit, but Penelope also cancelled her contract with us, leaving me without a reputable temp agency to rely on, so I did the only thing I could do under the circumstances.” She takes off her glasses and leans back in her chair, steepling her hands together in front of her as she taps her pointer fingers on her lips. She looks at me with disappointment radiating off of her. “You fucked up so bad here, Austin. I’m not even sure if you actually realize the depth of what you’ve lost.”
“I know. I know I did. I called her to apologize, but she didn’t take any of my calls. I even went by her house, but her sister wouldn’t let me see her,” I tell her, hoping it will soften the blow I know she’s about to deliver to me.
She sits up straight in her chair, looks me dead in the eyes, and starts to speak to me in that soft but angry, firm, and concise tone she used on me when I seriously messed up as a kid. “You told that beautiful, vivacious young woman that she is undesirable and that’s why her husband left her. And you have the audacity to think that because you say sorry she is going to forgive you? I must have dropped you on your head when you were younger.” She shakes her head.
“Austin, you have to know that she had feelings for you, just as you have them for her. It sure as hell was obvious to all of us who were thoroughly enjoying that dance the two of you were doing. Hell, we were getting ready to start a pool for when you two would finally get it together and get together. What you’re not getting is that it was going to take a lot of bravery and trust and faith on her part to take that step. The last man she had feelings for wounded her, Austin. And the next man she thought she might possibly open up to just wounded her, too. Men wonder why women turn into raging bitches? Think about what SHE has been through at the hands of men she’s cared about, and there’s your answer.” She waits a beat for that to sink in before continuing.
“You needed an assistant, I did the best I could. Carmen was available, and even after that display yesterday, was still willing. You need to understand that Lauren will never come back here, Austin, and it is highly unlikely that she will ever give you the time of day to deliver that apology,” she finishes as if she didn’t just gut me with that speech. Fuck, what have I done?
I’m so mad at myself, I can’t help the glare I aim at her as I ask, “Aren’t you the one who says never say never?”
“I also taught you how to be sensitive and kind-hearted. What happened there?” She raises an eyebrow at me.
I turn and practically storm out of her office, coming face-to-face with John. “Hey there, buddy. You’re looking a bit uptight today,” he remarks as he puts his hands in his pockets.
“Fuck you.” I walk away from him, hoping he doesn’t follow me, but hearing his breathing beside me, I know that I’m not that lucky.
“Did you really call her out in front of everyone?” I look over at him when he finishes asking the question.
“I didn’t do it in front of anybody. They were just there,” I say as I walk back into my office. “Close the door.”
“Oh, now you want privacy?” he asks, chuckling. “All kidding aside, I heard that it was brutal. You’re lucky no one caught that on video. That shit can go viral, and the next thing you know, you’re all over the Internet as the World’s Worst Boss.”
I tolerate him until he walks out and then start my day. My emails come in all fucked up. Nothing is entered in my calendar. My meetings aren’t even entered. I have no idea where I’m going. I pick up my phone and call Carmen.
“Hiyeah,” she greets. And, really, is that even a word?
“Have you sent me the emails that came in today? Did put all the meetings that I have next week in my calendar?” I look at my computer screen.
“No, I assumed you would do it,” she replies.
“No, I don’t do it. You do it,” I bark and then hang up. It just gets worse from there. The notes she enters make no sense. She is confusing projects and entering things in the wrong places. She can’t even get my coffee order right.