My feet locked to the ground. I narrowed my eyes. “Why do I get the feeling this is charity?” Anger tinged my voice. “I’m not some homeless kid anymore. I’m twenty-three. I don’t need your—”
“I know you don’t, and it’s not. This is rightfully yours, and I wouldn’t feel right keeping it.” The air thickened as he crossed the distance between us and forced it into my hand.
I swallowed as the weight of money settled into my grip.
And then I knew why he’d given it to me.
Tonight would never have had a different ending—regardless if Della had run away or not.
My fingers tightened around the cash. “You’re saying goodbye.”
John shoved his hands into his dressing gown pockets, looking at the floor. “Patricia is right. We love you like family. You’re not just an employee, and I don’t want to see you go. I love having you and Della here, and I’m eternally grateful for all your help. But…this is a small town, Ren. I know you said you and Della aren’t blood relatives…but that doesn’t change facts.”
I sighed heavily, feeling disgusted all over again. “I know.”
“If people find out. If Della tries it again—”
“She won’t,” I snapped. “Believe me. When I find her, she’ll never wish to kiss another person again.”
“That might be.” He nodded. “But here, people believe you’re brother and sister. If Cassie talks or even if Della talks, you stand a high chance of arrest just from local gossip. You’ve done well by that girl. No matter what you think, you are a good role model for her. But right now, this place would only hurt you if you stay.”
Clutching the wad of money, goosebumps scattered over my arms. “You don’t want us to come back.”
He smiled sadly. “It’s not that I don’t want you. Hopefully, one day you’ll visit, and things will be back to normal. But for now, you need to be somewhere that hasn’t watched you two grow up and already have their perceived realities.”
“There are no perceived realities.” I growled. “There’s nothing going on. We are brother and sister. No more. No less.”
John backed toward the door with a wise smile that irritated and angered me. “Realities can change. I’m not blind. I’ve seen what’s gone on over the years with you and Cassie. I never spoke up because out of all the boyfriends she’s had, you were a good influence on her. But I also know it’ll break her heart when she wakes up to find you gone tomorrow.”
I glanced toward the farmhouse as if I could see through walls and witness Cassie asleep in her bed. “I didn’t mean—”
“I know you didn’t.” He held up his hand. “But that’s just who you are, Ren. You care about others so much they feel incredibly special. You give them the clothes off your back. You donate every penny for their benefit. You have no other purpose in life but to support those you care about, and that sort of dedication can be hard not to fall for.”
“You’re wrong.” Guilt squeezed. “I was never that kind to Cassie. And I’m only generous to Della because it’s my fault she has no parents—”
“I don’t believe that. It sounds as though Della is lucky you took her that night. Her parents are monsters. And you treated Cassie better than most. Don’t let that weigh you down. You’re a good kid, Ren.” He crossed the threshold, shuffling with reluctant steps. “But if I can give you any word of advice for the next few years of raising Della, I would say let her trip up occasionally. Pull back. Let her make mistakes. Let her know you’re there for her but don’t be her everything. Do that, and this passing phase will be just that—a phase. But if you don’t…you’ll have trouble.”
I stepped toward him, desperate for guidance, while at the same time, wanting to run from any future problems. I just wanted her normal. I wanted things to be normal between us. There was no doubt in my mind that I would find her; even now, the urge to chase built every second until I struggled to stay in one spot.
But this was one of those moments that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up with importance. I hadn’t been guided in my role as a guardian, and so far, I’d managed to keep her alive but not enforce the rules she badly needed.
I looked up to John, and if he wanted to share a piece of wisdom, then I wanted to listen. “What sort of trouble?” I asked softly. “What am I doing wrong?”
“You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re doing everything right. Too right. So right, in fact, you’re giving her an unrealistic view of the male sex, and when she starts dating, the only person she’ll have to compare them to is you, and she’ll find them lacking every time.” He smiled kindly. “Show her you’re human, that you have flaws and a temper just like everyone else. Otherwise…”