“That’s not the point.”
She clamped her hands on her hips, looking girlish in her white nightgown with pink flowers and all woman with her puffy lips and tight nipples. “Then what is the point, Ren? Why do you keep stopping this?”
“Stopping what?”
She laughed with a trace of rage. “This! Every time we come close to fucking, you stop. You act all guilty and shy and shut down.” She laughed again. “Do you know how many times I’ve returned to my bed, only to have to make myself come with wanting you? You’re like the prized horse no one is allowed to ride.” She smirked. “Get it? Not allowed to ride…” Her head lowered, brown hair cascading over one eye. “I want to ride you. I want to ride your dick so hard, Ren, and you shoot me down every time.”
Her words and thick invitation sent more blood pumping to my cock.
Normally, I could ignore the punching, clawing desire, but this time, I almost buckled beneath it.
I struggled for a reason we couldn’t do this. Any reason. I wouldn’t tell her I’d jerked off to images of sex too, but she wasn’t the one who starred in my daydreams. Some faceless female always did. Someone blonde and kind who didn’t mind my inexperience.
And the fact that my ideal partner was blonde just ate more chunks away at my soul because how fucking disgusting was I to want an older version of Della.
Not that I wanted an older version of her.
But I liked blonde hair.
And I liked kindness.
And I wanted so fucking much to fuck something, but I didn’t want to support more kids. I had no idea how Cassie had sex with so many men and never once got pregnant.
Maybe she was infertile.
And if she was, she was lucky she was human and not a sheep or cow; otherwise, her usefulness of reproducing would be replaced by the slaughterhouse and she’d end up on someone’s plate.
“Are you going to say something?” She paced in front of me, her breasts high and tempting, her steps short and full of the same urgent wanting I suffered with.
I clenched my hands as the need to squeeze my tortured cock almost overrode my brain. “What about Kevin or Calvin or whatever his name was.”
“Gavin and I broke up.”
My eyebrows rose. “When?”
“Tonight. Bastard was cheating on me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well.” She blew hair out of her eyes. “I wasn’t interested in him anymore anyway.”
“Oh.”
Stagnant desire turned the stables full of festering appetite.
Knowing she was single again shouldn’t add more fever to my already out of control yearning…but it did. I took a step toward her, only to take it back again as her eyes latched onto mine with a cat-like gleam and lick of her lips.
“There you go again,” she moaned. “You want me. I know you do.” Looking over her shoulder toward the door where Della slept, she did something she’d never done before.
I’d seen every part of her but only in glimpses and only with buttons undone or zippers half-mast. I’d never seen her fully naked.
But I saw her now as she tore off her nightgown and stood bare before me.
I swallowed hard, unsuccessfully silencing a desperate groan.
“See, you do want me.” She walked toward me, her hips swaying, breasts bouncing, and wetness glinting on her inner thighs. “Help me forget him, Ren. Just for tonight. You never have to touch me again. Just…please….”
I scrambled backward as another flush of rebellious lust made me so damn hungry I almost forgot how to fight it. “Can’t.”
“Yes, you can.”
I shook my head as fast as I could. “You’ll get pregnant.”
She froze. “Wait…what?”
Shit.
Her tone layered me with self-consciousness. I hadn’t meant to say anything. I shouldn’t have said anything.
But Cassie’s face lit up and her edginess melted into the kindness I needed. “Is that why you’ve refused me all this time? Refused my friends? Never once tried to fuck me? Oh, wow, you think I’ll get pregnant if we do?”
Her questions could’ve been condescending and cruel, but they weren’t. Cassie was intricate and had two distinct sides. One side was all about her and she could be harsh without thought, yet the other was sweet and doting. And when it was activated, she could be an angel sent from above.
“Wait here.” She scooped her nightgown off the floor, shook away the hay strands, and slipped it back over her head. “Don’t go anywhere. I mean it.” Slipping from the stable, she pointed a finger in my face. “I mean it, Ren. If you vanish, I’m going to tell everyone what a great lay you are and set up a revolving door of women. Won’t that be torture for you?”
She vanished before I could admit that that would be my worst nightmare to have so many delectable beauties and not be allowed to touch a single one.