But it didn’t mean he wasn’t keeping tally.
During the busiest time of the year, when we had countless equestrians and fellow farmers coming to buy lucerne and meadow hay, and my life was a never-ending loop of cutting, fluffing, raking, baling, loading, and sowing, strange new possessions started appearing.
Patricia often stole Della to go with her and Cassie on shopping trips into town, and Della would return with sugar still rimming her pretty lips and her hands full of bags. She’d force me to sit on the bed as she tried on outfit after outfit, giving me a fashion show of colourful summer dresses, practical winter jackets, and frankly far too revealing swimsuits.
It was odd that the one-piece daffodil coloured swimsuit she wore whenever we’d swim in the river annoyed me more than skinny-dipping ever did.
There was something about the way it made Della switch from uncaring natural child to fledgling young woman who copied Cassie’s every move that made me look away as if I’d breached some sort of code by looking at her.
As Cassie prowled around in her black bikini with toned legs and perky breasts, Della would puff out her flat little chest and sunbake on flat rocks with her legs crossed in perfect imitation.
It made me uncomfortable but also indulgent.
I didn’t like to think of her trading innocence for whatever Cassie dabbled in, but I also couldn’t ignore that she was almost six years old—maybe already six years old, seeing as I didn’t know her birthday—and time was speeding up.
Every morning, she seemed to look different with a wiser glint to her gaze and harsher pinch to her lips if I annoyed her. She kept me on my toes—almost as much as Cassie did.
I struggled most days around Cassie, and my body was in a total flux of pain whenever we’d swim together. She’d pin me with an inviting stare, her body lithe and tempting and I’d have to turn my back to avoid revealing just how much she affected me.
Little Liam was the easiest to hang out with because all he cared about was lizards and helping his mother in the garden. He wasn’t growing up too fast or trying to lead me directly into sin.
Despite my growing awareness and steadily growing desire for what Cassie tempted, I loved working for the Wilsons. They were true to their word and among the many kindnesses they did for Della, they also ensured I had a treat now and again, too.
I did my best to ensure their farm ran as smoothly and productively as possible, and I guessed they appreciated it because one night, after a particularly gruelling day hauling hundreds of hay bales from the paddock and stacking them in the barn for winter feed, I lugged my tired, aching body to the one bedroom I shared with Della and heard music and voices coming from within.
A man’s voice.
My heavy steps turned quick as I barrelled into the room only to find Della sprawled on her belly with her chin in her hands, watching a comedy on a brand new flat-screen TV.
“Where did that come from?” I plopped exhausted beside her on the end of the bed, laying my arm over her shoulders and playing, like I always did, with the blue ribbon trapped in her ponytail.
“Patty and John.” She shuffled closer, uncaring that her clean skin pressed against my hay-covered sweat.
“Wow.”
“I know.” She nodded importantly. “I made sure to say thank you.”
“I think they deserve multiple thank yous.”
“Cassie let me ride her horse today after school, too.” Her face split into the biggest grin. “I got a gold star in class, got to ride a pony, and we have a TV again! Best day ever!”
I kissed her head, inhaling the sweet milk and honey shampoo she favoured and ignored my skipping heart. “I’m going to get clean.”
“Okay.” She flashed me a smile then turned back to the TV. As her attention fixed on the ridiculous show, I dragged myself to the shower and stripped.
I stood under cold water, trying to wash away heatstroke and prickly grass while doing my best to inject energy into tired muscles because I wouldn’t be crawling into bed to fall asleep beside Della.
Not yet, anyway.
Della had ridden Cassie’s horse.
And that meant I owed someone a kiss.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
REN
* * * * * *
2006
I COULDN’T REMEMBER when I’d taken Della to the diner for our shared birthday lunch, but today was my only day off, and I wanted to spend time with her just the two of us.
The exact date didn’t matter because it wasn’t the right one anyway. All that mattered was marking the calendar of her turning six and me turning sixteen.
Instead of stealing a wallet to pay for a single lunch, I politely asked Patricia if I could pack a wicker basket of fresh ham sandwiches and some of her banana and raspberries muffins freshly baked and steaming on the windowsill, and head to one of the boundary paddocks where willow trees dragged long fronds on the ground.