My questions had no answers, and I shoved them to the side as John pulled out a crushed envelope from his back pocket and held it out to me.
I steadied myself before taking it, so he didn’t see my weak tremble. “What’s this?”
He nodded with his chin to open it. “Your first month’s salary. I’ll pay you fortnightly in the summer, but winter is always a little tight with more outgoing than incoming, I’m afraid.”
“Salary?”
Would it reveal how much of an idiot I was if I admitted I didn’t know that word?
Running my thumb under the glue of the envelope, my eyes shot to his when I saw what was inside. “This is money.”
John scowled. “Eh, yes. I know it’s not much, but I’ll give you a few bonuses when we bale and sell the hay in summer.”
I ignored that part and didn’t bother reminding him I wouldn’t be here in summer. All I could focus on was a wad of cash I didn’t have to steal. A wad of cash that was given to me for services rendered.
Cash I’d earned.
My ability to count had drastically improved, but it still wasn’t good enough to flick through the ten and twenty-dollar bills to find out what he’d valued my work at.
But it didn’t matter.
Because I already had something in mind to spend it on.
Passing back the envelope, I said, “Thank you but keep it.”
He refused to take it. “What? Why? You’re my employee. You get how that works, right? You do what I ask, and I pay you for your time.” He looked at me as if I was an imbecile. “I’m not taking it back, Ren.”
“I want to spend it.” I urged him to take it until he reluctantly held out his hand.
“On what?”
“On Della.”
His face softened. “I see. What would you like me to buy her for you?”
I could’ve said trinkets and knickknacks, but we had no space for possessions. The only thing we had space for was education, and I knew how much it meant to her to learn. Every day she’d come home from school, she’d been a hive of energy and buzzing with new things.
I didn’t want to keep that from her.
And the only way I could give it to her was while we had temporary permanency.
“It’s complicated.” I sighed, eyeing him, wondering if this man was as good as he seemed, or if I was about to get myself into a world of trouble.
“Give me complicated and I’ll see if I can make it simple.”
“Okay.” I paced a little, needing to walk and think. “I want Della to go to school, but to do that, she needs people who will say they’re her parents and an address for teachers to know she’s taken care of. I-I can’t give her that.”
John crossed his arms, crinkling the envelope against his side. “So you want us to lie and say she’s ours?”
“I want you to give her a chance, so she can become somebody better than me.”
“Don’t do that,” he said sternly. “Don’t put yourself down. She has a good role model in you, Ren, and if she turns out to be half as noble, then you’ve done well raising her.”
I shrugged, uncomfortable with praise and ready to return to Della. “Will you do it?”
“School doesn’t start back until next week. I can see if there’s room to enrol her. I’ll say we’re her guardians, but her family is her brother, and all communication needs to go through you. Sound fair?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll do that for you, but you need to do something for me in return.”
I froze. “What?”
“Take the damn money.” He held it out. “School is expensive. Not to mention uniforms and books and excursions.”
I backed away from the cash. “I know that. That’s why I’m going to ask another favour.”
“Go on.”
“Keep everything I earn. Never give me a penny. But whatever you feel I’m worth, give it to her. Buy her new clothes. Give her books. Send her to the best school my skills can buy, and you have a deal.”
John Wilson shook his head. “You’re really something, you know that?”
“I know the responsibility I have to Della and mean to fulfil it.”
“She’s very lucky to have you.”
I shrugged again. “And I’m lucky to have her.”
“You know…” His eyes narrowed with thought. “Winter won’t last forever. If she gets into school, she’ll only be there a few weeks if you’re intending to leave in spring.”
My spine slouched.
I hadn’t thought of that.
Here I was planning a future for Della that would end the moment the thaw came. She wanted to leave, but if we did…she’d never have what she deserved.
She’d never read and write properly. She’d never grow up with the skills to make her dreams come true.
I looked out the window at the silver moon on white snow and the silhouettes of trees beckoning me back into their depths.