I groaned as I licked the seam of her lips, desperate for her to kiss me back.
Come on, Hope.
Give in.
Her legs shifted, angling her bottom half away.
Then, blinding white-hot agony.
I buckled over, letting her go and swimming in a roar of nausea. Cupping my balls, I fell to my knees, rocking in blistering pain. “You just kneed me!”
“You wouldn’t let me go!” She stood over me, chest heaving.
I struggled to catch a breath, riding the shockwaves of injury. She ducked to her haunches, her face full of worry. “Oh, no, I didn’t hurt you, did I? I barely put any pressure behind it. It was just a warning. That’s all.”
I laughed icily, cupping the boys and massaging the ache away. “That’s all? Who the hell are you?”
She sighed. “I’m the girl who’s very sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Damn right, you shouldn’t.” The pain faded, carried away by blood and heartbeats, leaving me angrier than I’d ever been. “I kiss you, and you try to kill me.”
“I told you I didn’t want to be kissed.” She stood, towering over me on the floor. “I need to go. We’re just…not right for each other, Jacob. We want different things. I…I truly am sorry for hurting you.”
“I don’t want your damn apology.”
“It’s all I have to give.” She shrugged sadly. “Please…call Cassie. It’s urgent. I promised her I’d give you the message, and I have. My task is complete. I need to leave.”
My hand lashed out, fingers locking around her ankle. “You’re not leaving.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I am. You’ve been smoking pot. You’re not in your right mind.”
“I didn’t kiss you because of the weed, Hope.” My thumb followed her ankle bone, loving the way she shuddered. “I kissed you because I couldn’t not kiss you.”
“And I didn’t kiss you back because I can’t kiss you.”
“You’ve kissed me before.”
“And both were mistakes.”
“You’re afraid you’re going to propose to me if I fuck you in a rainstorm?”
A full body shudder took her hostage as my fingers crept up her calf. Her skin was like satin. Like sea glass and marble. I couldn’t stop myself. I shifted higher on my knees, praying to her as I continued stroking the softest skin I’d ever touched. Around her kneecap, dipping to inner thigh and up, up, up. “Or are you afraid I’d say yes if you did?”
She wobbled.
Her hand landed on my head, fingers curling around my shaggy hair. “Don’t…please don’t.”
Wrapping my free arm around her waist, I tugged her into me. Her stomach was firm and flat as I pressed a kiss right on her belly button. “Don’t you want to know what it would be like?”
“Be like?” Her head fell back as my fingers continued climbing. Goosebumps pebbled her skin. She shivered as if she stood in a snowstorm and not in a humid hut in Bali.
“Between us.”
“There’s nothing between us.”
I nipped at her lower belly. “There’s everything between us.”
My fingers grazed her underwear. She jolted as if lightning forked through the roof and hit her directly in the heart. “God, Jacob, please…you’re not rational. It’s the weed. This isn’t you. God, it’s not—”
I lashed my thumb over the most intimate part of her. The cotton between her legs was wet from rain and the sizzling heat between us. My throat became a wasteland of want. My body a nucleus of raging hot need. “It’s not the pot.” I nuzzled into her belly, pressing harder against her. A flood of warmth shocked me as her back bowed, opening her body to my control.
And that was it.
I broke.
Scrambling to my feet, I wrapped a fist in her hair and pulled. With my other hand, I cupped her heat, rocking my palm against the part I’d read was the most sensitive.
She buckled in my hold. Her head fell back. Her lips parted.
And I kissed her.
Goddammit, I kissed her.
Just as we fought with words, we fought in action too.
She kissed me back, violence for violence.
We tripped into the middle of the room, almost falling. But our lips never unlocked. Our bodies never unglued. Our hands roaming, claiming, possessing.
I did my best to fall toward the bed, guiding her as we spun and fought, kissing, always kissing.
Pushing her the final distance, she tumbled backward, bouncing on the bed where I’d been so goddamn lonely. Where she’d found me in my dreams and haunted my nightmares. Where I’d loved her, wanted her, watched her die, and realised I wanted this girl enough to face my awful fears, but I wasn’t strong enough to fight for a forever.
She was the most dangerous thing to me.
She was the one person who could end my life all by loving me.
Hope scrambled up the bed, her dress bunching around her legs, her hair wild and tangled. Her eyes searched mine as I crawled toward her, hovering over her with shaking arms.