It may seem odd that I was constantly buying materials for my artificing over the river, but the truth was merchants near the University frequently took advantage of the students’ laziness and raised their prices. It was worth the walk for me if I could save a couple of pennies.
After I finished my errand I headed to the Eolian. Deoch was at his usual post, leaning against the doorway. “I’ve been keeping an eye out for your girl,” he said.
Irritated at how transparent I must seem, I muttered, “She’s not my girl.”
Deoch rolled his eyes. “Fine. The girl. Denna, Dianne, Dyanae…whatever she’s calling herself these days. I haven’t seen hide nor hair of her. I even asked around a little, nobody’s seen her in a full span. That means she’s probably left town. It’s her way. She does it at the drop of a hat.”
I tried not to let my disappointment show. “You didn’t have to go to the trouble,” I said. “But thanks all the same.”
“I wasn’t asking entirely on your account,” Deoch admitted. “I’ve a fondness for her myself.”
“Do you now?” I said as neutrally as I could manage.
“Don’t give me that look. I’m not any sort of competition.” He gave a crooked smile. “Not this time around at any rate. I might not be one of you University folk, but I can see the moon on a clear night. I’m smart enough not to stick my hand in the same fire twice.”
I struggled to get my expression back under control, more than slightly embarrassed. I don’t usually let my emotions go parading around on my face. “So you and Denna…”
“Stanchion still gives me a hard time about chasing after a girl half my age.” He shrugged his broad shoulders sheepishly. “For all that, I am still fond of her. These days she reminds me of my littlest sister more than anything.”
“How long have you known her?” I asked, curious.
“I wouldn’t say I really know her, lad. But I met her what, about two years back? Not that long, maybe a year and little change….” Deoch ran both of his hands through his blond hair and arched his back in a great stretch, the muscles in his arms straining against his shirt. Then he relaxed with an explosive sigh and looked out at the nearly empty courtyard. “The door won’t be busy for hours yet. Come give an old man an excuse to sit and have a drink?” He jerked his head in the direction of the bar.
I looked at Deoch: tall, muscular, and tan. “Old man? You’ve still got all your hair and your teeth, don’t you? What are you, thirty?”
“Nothing makes a man feel older than a young woman.” He laid a hand on my shoulder. “Come on, share a drink with me.” We made our way over to the long mahogany bar and he muttered as he looked over the bottles. “Beer dulls a memory, brand sets it burning, but wine is the best for a sore heart’s yearning.” He paused and turned to looked at me, his brow furrowed. “I can’t remember the rest of that. Can you?”
“Never heard it before,” I said. “But Teccam claims that out of all the spirits, only wine is suited to reminiscence. He said a good wine allows clarity and focus, while still allowing a bit of comforting coloration of the memory.”
“Fair enough,” he said, picking through the racks before drawing out a bottle and holding it up to a lamp, peering through it. “Let’s view her in a rosy light, shall we?” He grabbed two glasses and led us off to a secluded booth in the corner of the room.
“So you’ve known Denna for a while,” I prompted as he poured each of us a glass of pale red wine.
He slouched back against the wall. “Off and on. More off, honestly.”
“What was she like back then?”
Deoch spent several long moments pondering his answer, giving the question more serious consideration than I’d expected. He sipped his wine. “The same,” he said at last. “I suppose she was younger, but I can’t say she seems any older now. She always struck me as being older than her years.” He frowned. “Not old really, more…”
“Mature?” I suggested.
He shook his head. “No. I don’t know a good word for it. It’s like if you look at a great oak tree. You don’t appreciate it because it’s older than the other trees, or because it’s taller. It just has something that other younger trees don’t. Complexity, solidity, significance.” Deoch scowled, irritated. “Damn if that isn’t the worst comparison I’ve ever made.”
A smile broke onto my face. “It’s nice to see I’m not the only one who has trouble pinning her down with words.”
“She’s not much for being pinned down,” Deoch agreed and drank off the rest of his wine. He picked up the bottle and tapped the mouth of it lightly against my glass. I emptied it, and he poured again for both of us.
Deoch continued, “She was just as restless then, and wild. Just as pretty, prone to startle the eye and stutter the heart.” He shrugged again. “As I said, largely the same. Lovely voice, light of foot, quick of tongue, men’s adoration and women’s scorn in roughly equal amounts.”
“Scorn?” I asked.
Deoch looked at me as if he didn’t understand what I was asking. “Women hate Denna,” he said plainly, as if repeating something we both already knew.
“Hate her?” The thought baffled me. “Why?”
Deoch looked at me incredulously, then burst out laughing. “Good lord, you really don’t know anything about women, do you?” I would ordinarily have bristled at his comment, but Deoch was nothing but good natured. “Think of it. She’s pretty and charming. Men crowd round her like stags in rut.” He made a flippant gesture. “Women are bound to resent it.”
I remembered what Sim had said about Deoch not a span ago. He’s managed to get the most beautiful woman in the place again. It’s enough to make you hate a man. “I’ve always felt she was rather lonely,” I volunteered. “Maybe that’s why.”
Deoch nodded solemnly. “There’s truth to that. I never see her in the company of other womenfolk, and she has about as much luck with men as…” He paused, groping for a comparison. “As…damn.” He gave a frustrated sigh.
“Well, you know what they say: Finding the right analogy is as hard as…” I put on a thoughtful expression. “As hard as…” I made an inarticulate grasping gesture.
Deoch laughed and poured more wine for both of us. I began to relax. There is a sort of camaraderie that rarely exists except between men who have fought the same enemies and known the same women. “Did she tend to disappear back then, too?” I asked.
He nodded. “No warning, just suddenly gone. Sometimes for a span. Sometimes for months.”
“‘No fickleness in flight like that of wind or women’s fancy,’” I quoted. I meant it to be musing, but it came out bitter. “Do you have any guess as to why?”
“I’ve given some thought to that,” Deoch said philosophically. “In part I think it is her nature. It could be she simply has wandering blood.”
My irritation cooled a bit at his words. Back in my troupe, my father occasionally made us pull up stakes and leave a town despite the fact that we were welcome and the crowds were generous. Later, he would often explain his reasoning to me: a glare from the constable, too many fond sighs from the young wives in town….
But sometimes he had no reason. We Ruh are meant to travel, son. When my blood tells me to wander, I know enough to trust it.
“Her circumstances are probably responsible for most of it,” Deoch continued.
“Circumstances?” I asked, curious. She never talked of her past when we were together, and I was always careful not to press her. I knew what it was like, not wanting to talk too much about your past.
“Well, she doesn’t have any family or means of support. No long-standing friends able to help her out of a tight spot if the need arises.”
“I haven’t got any of those things either,” I groused, the wine making me a little surly.
“There’s more than a little difference there,” Deoch said with a hint of reproach. “A man has a great many opportunities to make his way in the world. You’ve found yourself a plac
e at the University, and if you hadn’t you would still have options.” He looked at me with a knowing eye. “What options are available to a young, pretty girl with no family? No dowry? No home?”
He began to hold up fingers. “There’s begging and whoring. Or being some lord’s mistress, which is a different slice of the same loaf. And we know our Denna doesn’t have it in her to be a kept woman or someone’s dox.”
“There’s other work to be had,” I said holding up fingers of my own. “Seamstress, weaver, serving girl…”
Deoch snorted and gave me a disgusted look. “Come now lad, you’re smarter than that. You know what those places are like. And you know that a pretty girl with no family ends up being taken advantage of just as often as a whore, and paid less for her trouble.”
I flushed a bit at his rebuke, more than I would have normally, as I was feeling the wine. It was making my lips and the tips of my fingers a little numb.
Deoch filled our glasses again. “She’s not to be looked down on for moving where the wind blows her. She has to take her opportunities where she finds them. If she gets the chance to travel with some folk who like her singing, or with a merchant who hopes her pretty face will help him sell his wares, who’s to blame her for pulling up stakes and leaving town?
“And if she trades on her charm a bit, I’ll not look down on her because of it. Young gents court her, buy her presents, dresses, jewelry.” He shrugged his broad shoulders. “If she sells those things for money to live, there’s nothing wrong in that. They are gifts freely given, and hers to do with as she pleases.”
Deoch fixed me with a stare. “But what is she to do when some gent gets too familiar? Or gets angry at being denied what he considers bought and paid for? What recourse does she have? No family, no friends, no standing. No choice. None but to give herself over to him, all unwilling….” Deoch’s face was grim. “Or to leave. Leave quickly and find better weather. Is it any surprise then that she is harder to lay hands on than a windblown leaf?”
He shook his head, looking down at the table. “No, I do not envy her her life. Nor do I judge her.” His tirade seemed to have left him spent and slightly embarrassed. He didn’t look up at me as he spoke. “For all that, I would help her, if she would let me.” He glanced up at me and gave a chagrined smile. “But she’s not the sort to be beholden to anyone. Not one whit. Not a hairsbreadth.” He sighed and dribbled the last drops of the bottle evenly into our glasses.
“You’ve shown her to me in a new light,” I said honestly. “I’m ashamed I didn’t see it for myself.”
“Well, I’ve had a head start on you,” he said easily. “I’ve known her longer.”
“Nevertheless, I thank you,” I said holding up my glass.
He held up his own. “To Dyanae,” he said. “Most lovely.”
“To Denna, full of delight.”
“Young and unbending.”
“Bright and fair.”
“Ever sought, ever alone.”
“So wise and so foolish,” I said. “So merry and so sad.”
“Gods of my fathers,” Deoch said reverently. “Keep her always so: unchanging, past my understanding, and safe from harm.”
We both drank and set down our glasses.
“Let me buy the next bottle,” I said. It would tap out my slowly hoarded line of credit with the bar, but I found myself increasingly fond of Deoch and the thought of not standing my round with him was too galling to consider.
“Stream, stone, and sky,” he swore, rubbing at his face. “I dare not. Another bottle and we’d be slitting our wrists into the river before the sun goes down.”
I made a gesture to a serving girl. “Nonsense,” I said. “We’ll just change to something less maudlin than wine.”
I didn’t notice I was being followed when I returned to the University. Perhaps my head was so full of Denna that there was little room left for anything else. Perhaps I had been living civilized for so long that the hard-earned reflexes I’d picked up in Tarbean were starting to fade.
The blackberry brand probably had something to do with it as well. Deoch and I had talked for a long while, and between us drank half a bottle of the stuff. I had brought the remainder of the bottle back with me, as I knew Simmon had a taste for it.
Small matter why I didn’t notice them, I suppose. The result was the same. I was strolling down a poorly lit part of Newhall Lane when something blunt struck me on the back of the head and I was bundled off into a nearby alley, half-senseless.
I was only stunned for a moment, but by the time I had re-gathered my wits, I had a heavy hand clamped over my mouth.
“Alright, cully,” the huge man behind me spoke into my ear. “I’ve got a knife on you. You struggle, I stick you. That’s all there is to it.” I felt a gentle prod against my ribs under my left arm. “Check the finder,” he said to his companion.
A tall shape was all I could see in the dim light of the alley. He bowed his head, looking at his hand. “I can’t tell.”
“Light a match, then. We have to be sure.”
My anxiety began to blossom into full-blown panic. This wasn’t some simple back-alley coshing. They hadn’t even checked my pockets for money. This was something else.
“We know it’s him,” the tall one said impatiently. “Let’s just do this and have it over with. I’m cold.”
“Like hell. Check it now, while he’s close. We’ve lost him twice already. I’m not having another cock-up like in Anilin.”
“I hate this thing,” the tall man said as he went through his pockets, presumably looking for a match.
“You’re an idiot,” the one behind me said. “It’s cleaner this way. Simpler. No confusing descriptions. No names. No worrying about disguises. Follow the needle, find our man, and have done with it.”
The matter-of-fact tone of their voices terrified me. These men were professionals. I realized with sudden certainty that Ambrose had finally taken steps to ensure I would never bother him again.
My mind raced for a moment, and I did the only thing I could think of: I dropped the half-full bottle of brand. It shattered on the cobblestones and the night air was suddenly filled with the smell of blackberries.
“That’s great,” the tall man hissed. “How about you let him ring a bell while you’re at it?”
The man behind me tightened his grip on my neck and shook me hard, just once. The same way you would do to a naughty puppy. “None of that,” he said, irritated.
I went limp, hoping to lull him, then concentrated and muttered a binding against the man’s thick hand.
“Tough tits,” the man replied. “If you stepped in glass it’s your own damn faaaaaah!” He let out a startled shout as the pool of brand around our feet caught fire.
I took advantage of his momentary distraction and twisted away from him. But I wasn’t quite quick enough. His knife tore a bright line of pain across my ribs as I pulled away and began pelting down the alley.
But my flight was short-lived. The alley dead-ended against a sheer brick wall. There were no doors, no windows, nothing to hide behind or use to get a leg up on the wall. I was trapped.
I turned to see the two men blocking the mouth of the alley. The large one was stamping his leg furiously, trying to extinguish it.
My left leg was burning as well, but I didn’t spare a thought for it. A little burn would be the least of my problems if I didn’t do something quick. I looked around again, but the alley was distressingly clean. Not even any decent garbage to use as a makeshift weapon. I frantically ran through the contents of my cloak’s pockets, desperately trying to form some sort of plan. Some pieces of copper wire were useless. Salt, could I throw it in their eyes? No. Dried apple, pen and ink, a marble, string, wax…
The large man finally beat out the flames and the two of them began to make their slow way down the alley. The light from the circle of burning brand flickered across the blades of their knives.
Still going over my countless pockets
, I found a lump that I didn’t recognize. Then I remembered—it was the a sack of bassal shavings I had bought to use for my sympathy lamp.
Bassal is a light, silvery metal, useful in certain alloys that I would be using to construct my lamp. Manet, ever the careful teacher, had taken care to describe the dangers of every material we used. If it gets hot enough, bassal burns with an intense, white-hot flame.
I hurriedly untied the pouch. The trouble was, I didn’t know if I could make this work. Things like candle wicking or alcohol are easy to light. They just need a focused flash of heat to get them going. Bassal was different. It needed a great deal of heat to ignite, which is why I wasn’t worried about carrying it around in my pocket.
The men came a few slow steps closer and I flung the handful of bassal shavings in a wide arc. I tried to get it close to their faces, but didn’t hold much hope. The shavings had no real heft, it was like throwing a handful of loose snow.
Lowering one hand to the flame licking at my leg, I focused my Alar. The wide pool of burning brand winked out behind the two men, leaving the alley in pitch darkness. But there still wasn’t enough heat. Reckless with desperation, I touched my bloody side, concentrated, and felt a terrible cold tear through me as I pulled more heat from my blood.
There was an explosion of white light, blinding in the dark of the alley. I’d closed my eyes, but even through my lids the burning bassal was piercingly bright. One of the men screamed, high and terrified. When I opened my eyes I could see nothing but blue ghosts dancing over my vision.
The scream faded to a low moaning, and I heard a thump as if one of the men had stumbled and fallen. The tall man began to babble, his voice little more than a terrified sobbing. “Oh God. Tam, my eyes. I’m blind.”
As I listened, my vision cleared enough for me to see the vague outlines of the alley. I could see the dark shapes of both men. One was kneeling with his hands in front of his face, the other was sprawled motionless on the ground farther down the alley. It looked like he had run headlong into a low rafter beam at the mouth of the alley and knocked himself unconscious. Scattered around the cobblestones, the remnants of bassal were sputtering out like tiny blue-white stars.