“Is that a key to your house?” she asks, taking it from my hand, as I nod. “Um.” She looks at the key in her hand, turning it over and over, her head coming up and smiling at me. “You like me.”
I lean down, kissing her lips. “Yeah, angel, I like you,” I tell her as my thumb rubs her cheek.
“Good,” she says as she tosses it on her bag. “Now can you get me a ladder? I need to put the lights up.”
And after what takes two hours, but feels like two weeks, four thousand lights are draped around the tree. Four thousand. “I think this is a fire violation,” I say, watching some of the lights blink.
For two weeks, she keeps ordering Christmas stuff, so much stuff it looks like a picture from one of the catalogues. I place her gifts under the tree after we get back home from the last game before the holidays. There are more gifts under the tree than I know what to do with. I think I’m responsible for about twenty of the fifty.
She spends the twenty-third with me as we spend the night hugging, kissing, pinching, pulling, and devouring.
“Happy Christmas Eve,” she says as she wakes the next day.
I look at my watch and see it’s past noon. “Merry Christmas, angel.” I hug her and then she shoots out of bed.
“Presents!” she yells as she runs into the living room.
I get up, following her, and sitting on the couch. “Can we get coffee first?” I ask as I walk to the coffee and press the button.
We exchange gifts, the silly ones first. I get her a key chain with an angel on it, a scarf that she was going on and on about, a thick winter jacket with a fur hood for when we go to Canada in January, and some UGG boots. She gets me a scarf, a kickass jacket, and the best one yet a picture frame of us taken on the couch as she looks at the camera and I lean in and press my nose to her cheek. I get up, putting the picture in the living room on the main table in the middle. Bending down, I pick up the three small boxes that I saved for the end.
She smiles as she unwraps the smaller of the two and her mouth opens as she sees the red Cartier box. Opening it, she gasps as she sees the rose gold bangle I got her.
“Max. This is…” She doesn’t finish as she puts it on her wrist. “It’s too much.” She touches it as she picks up the same size box and unwraps it to see another red Cartier box. She looks up at me and shuts the box once she opens it. “Are you crazy?” she asks as she opens it again this time to see the rose gold wrap bracelet. “Holy shit, this is the bracelet that everyone is talking about.” She takes in the bracelet that looks like a nail that is twisted. Her tears come now. “This is too much.”
“Angel.” I grab her and hug her. “You forgot the last one.”
“I don’t want it. Return it,” she says, pushing it away from her.
“I can’t. It’s engraved,” I tell her as she now grabs the box and unwraps it to find a stainless steel and rose gold Rolex. She buries her face in my neck. “You didn’t see what I wrote,” I say as she unburies her face and takes it out, turning it over.
We have never spoken about feelings, so I don’t know how she is going to take my declaration.
I love you more every second.
12-23-17
“To this day, I have never regretted anything I’ve done in my life, nothing. But with you, being with you, I regret almost everything. I regret that fucking rape charge. I regret giving Matthew’s name. I regret thinking I was so much better than him and everyone else.”
“Max,” she whispers as she moves closer to me. “You don’t.”
“But you see, I do.” I kiss her lips. “I never ever thought it would backfire the way it did. My life was spirally down and nothing could have stopped it till I hit rock bottom. But when those cops came in that room and arrested your brother, I was never more sorry about anything in my life. It was a mistake that I would take back in a heartbeat.” I take in a breath. “It’s because of that mistake we are going to overcome the biggest obstacle of all: your brother.”
“You were young and stupid. I know you,” she points to my chest, “I know the man you are, the man that you strive to be, and that man would never hurt someone purposely. When it’s time, we will do it together.” She says as she leans forward, “no matter the outcome. I’ll be there.”