“Well, get back in there, Dad,” Kate scolded. “She’s probably scared out of her mind, and you’re outside calling me.”
“Shit,” I muttered.
“It’ll all work out,” she promised. “Give Sarai a hug for me, and tell her to call if she wants to talk or anything. I’m kind of an expert on babies.”
“Will do.” I turned back toward the doors. “Hey, Kate—”
“I won’t tell anyone,” she said, cutting me off. “It’s your news to share.”
“Thanks, sis.”
“Anytime.”
I hung up the phone and dropped my head back, staring at the dark sky. Sarai’s behavior made me antsy and anxious. There was something about the way that she refused to believe in our new reality that scared me, but I couldn’t figure out why. She’d calm down and everything would work out—I knew that—but it didn’t stop the knot of fear in my stomach from growing.
I took a deep breath and shook out the tension in my arms as I walked back inside.
“How you feeling?” I asked as I stepped through the door of Sarai’s room. I’d been gone only a few minutes, but she looked worse than when I’d left her. Pale, with dark circles under her eyes, and curled up in the fetal position, she looked like a scared teenager.
“The heaving has stopped,” she said, pulling the blanket farther up her shoulder. “For now at least.”
“That’s good,” I said as I sat down next to her on the bed and smoothed her hair away from her face. “The news sinking in?”
“I can’t believe I’m pregnant,” she whispered. “How the hell did this happen?”
“My sperm is clearly too powerful to contain,” I replied. The joke fell flat.
“I have months left of school,” she said, staring at the wall. “I had plans.”
“You heard the doctor—she’ll be born after you graduate,” I pointed out. “Nothing is changing yet.”
“Everything is changing,” she snapped. “I knew before that first date that this was a bad idea. I knew, and I went anyway, and now look.”
I jerked back at the verbal blow.
“You realize we’re married now,” I said, letting my shaking hand fall away from her hair. “This wasn’t some whoops, now we’re stuck together thing. You married me.”
“I know that,” she replied dully, pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders. “Believe me, I know.”
“Then what?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even. Yelling would solve nothing, and I’d be an asshole if I raised my voice, but Jesus, I wanted to. “You think I ruined your life? That our wedding was a mistake?”
“I didn’t say that,” she replied defensively.
“I can read between the lines,” I shot back.
“You’re not even trying to see this from my point of view.”
“I am,” I said, shaking my head. “But I’m not understanding it. We got married. Moved in together. Yeah, this baby is way earlier than we were hoping, but it’s here. So we change our plans. It’s not the end of the world.”
Sarai scoffed. “You haven’t given up anything,” she said. “Of course you’re happy. This doesn’t change your life at all.”
“You’re kidding, right?” I asked dubiously.
“Your family will be so excited,” she said, her voice wobbling. “Your mom will probably start sewing baby clothes or something equally grandmotherish.”
“That’s a bad thing?”
Sarai just shook her head.
“You’re pissed because my family is supportive?” I asked in confusion.
“It’s all just so easy for you,” she whispered angrily.
Comprehension dawned, and my chest ached sharply as I watched her hold back tears.
“Aw, baby,” I said softly, lying down on the bed behind her, my feet hanging off the side. I curled my body around hers. “Your aunt will come around. She loves you.”
“You heard Uncle Isaac,” she said. “I broke their hearts.”
My jaw clenched in fury as I held her tighter. Her aunt and uncle had every right to be disappointed, but I hated how shitty they’d been to Sarai. “This is going to change things,” I murmured against her hair. “You’ll see. Just wait until they find out that you’re going to give them a grandbaby to love. Babies are like magnets—they won’t be able to stay away.”
“How am I supposed to tell them?” she asked. “I came back to Missouri to go to school. They’ve been waiting for me to come home for years, and now I’m building this whole other life here.”
“Do you want to go back?” I asked, keeping my voice even. I dreaded her answer, but I needed to know. My re-enlistment was coming up, and we were going to have to make some important decisions soon. In the back of my mind, I’d assumed that if I got out of the Army, we’d move to Oregon. Most of my family was there, and I was ready to be close to them again.
“No,” she said softly. “No, I don’t.”
“We’ll figure it out,” I said, kissing her head. “We have time to figure it all out.”