After we get back to the moshav and Doda Yucky makes dinner for us, I make the final decision to go back and complete boot camp. Soon Im saying my goodbyes to my family while Avi says his goodbyes to his. Before my own family has time to miss me, Ill have graduated boot camp and be back on the moshav. Avis family isnt so lucky. After my Sababa group graduates, Avi and the rest of the Sayeret Tzefa trainees are going to intense training at the Counter
Terror School. The time with the Sababa group was supposed to be a relaxing break for them between parachuting and Counter Terror School. Unfortunately for Avi, I dont think being with my unit has been relaxing.
"Be good," my dad says, bending down into the passenger side window to hug me as Avi climbs behind the wheel. "Avi, keep her safe. "
"I will. "
I know its going to be a long drive, because the base is south of the Dead Sea. The sun is setting when we reach Haifa, and we still have more than a few hours to go.
I talk to Avi about Miranda liking Nathan, but Nathan liking Tori. . . and Tori not liking anyone. When I ask about Noah, Avi tells me that hes a good guy who really doesnt mind doing any of the jobs the army assigns him.
"Ive never seen Noah upset. Not even once," he tells me.
"When I first met Noah, I thought hed be a good match for Miranda," I say. "Or maybe Nimrod would. "
"Miranda isnt Nimrod s type. "
I tsk. "Whats that supposed to mean? Just because she has a little extra padding doesnt mean--"
"Nimrods gay. "
"Gay? As in. . . "
"Hes got a boyfriend. "
"Does he know that you know?"
"Everyone knows. He doesnt exactly keep it a secret. This is Israel. While we might not be the most tolerant people in the world, being gay here isnt a big deal. Even in the military. Nimrods a damn good soldier, and were lucky hes on our squad. Hes practically fearless and makes me a better soldier. "
"You make me a better soldier, Avi," I tell him. "I just wish I was a better friend to Miranda. I want her to be happy. Do you think setting her up with Noah would work?"
Avi takes my hand in his and kisses my palm. "Trying to make the world perfect again?"
"Im good at doing it for other people. I seem to screw up my own life pretty good most of the time. I guess we all have our talents, dont we?"
He nods.
"Speaking of making life perfect, Avi. Umm. . . do you remember last summer when we pulled off to the side of the road?"
"Yeah. How could I forget?"
"Okay, so I know Im a girl and shouldnt be asking this, but you only live once and life is short. Can we pull off the road? Were in the middle of a deserted road in the middle of nowhere, Israel. "
Avi flashes me a shocked expression. "I thought you didnt want to have sex until we were married. "
"Im not talking about sex. Im talking about kissing, and maybe a little body exploration. . . " But as my voice trails off, I wonder what Avi has in mind. "Why? Do you want to have sex?"
He nods. "Im a guy, Amy. Of course I want to have sex with my girlfriend. " "You do?"
"Oh, yeah," he says, his voice deep and sexy. My eyes graze over him, and now I know why being alone together brings us closer to dangerous territory. These are the times my dad and mom have warned me about, when my commitment to staying a virgin until Im married is compromised by my raging teenage hormones. "Dont look at me like that, Amy. " "Like what?"
"Like youre ready to be mischievous. " "What if I am?"
Avi rakes his hand over his head and moans. "Im seriously one minute away from begging you to be mischievous with me. "
"Well, now that my safias okay, I want to think about you and me. And since you dont have to report back to base until tomorrow, and its already late, maybe we can spend some alone time tonight. At a hotel. "
"Really?"
"Let me weigh the options. Option 1: Go back to the base, not have a second of private time with you, get up at the crack of dawn, or Option 2: Private time alone with you. Its a no-brainer, Avi. I pick private time alone with you. "
I think of Avi and me together. . . all night. . . in a hotel room. The word "perfection" doesnt do the fantasy justice.
"Youre not still feeling super mischievous, are you?" he asks. "Because if you are, this probably isnt the best idea. "
I cant wait to spend all night, alone, with my boyfriend. "Trust me, Avi. Its a great idea. Seriously, when are we going to have the chance to be alone again?"
He picks up his cell, makes a reservation at a hotel, and starts driving. Soon we arrive at a hotel on a kibbutz near Ein Gedi.
Avi pays for the room, signs papers, and gets a key from the girl at the front desk. I stand beside him, trying to act like getting a hotel room with my boyfriend is no biggie.
When in reality. . .
It is a biggie. A real big biggie.
Avi takes our bags and I follow him to our room. Its at the end of an adorable little one-story brick building with bright purple and yellow flowers outlining the front sidewalk. Avi opens the door and we walk inside.
When the door clicks shut, the reality of being alone with Avi hits me. Im with my boyfriend without any parental supervision. Im almost a senior in high school, almost an adult. . . in a year Ill be living on some college campus by myself, making decisions on my own.
I would never have put myself in the position of being alone with a boy in a hotel room if I didnt 100 percent trust him. I know Avi wont force me to do anything I dont want to do. The problem lies with me: I dont know if I trust myself. I admit, when I look at Avi I want him; I want him to kiss me until I cant breathe and touch me until my body melts under his touch, and I want to feel every inch of him. Will I be able to stop myself?
There are two single beds on either side of the room. Theyre just simple foam-filled mattresses on wooden frames that dont look very comfortable (which my parents would probably think is a good thing).
"You seem nervous," he says as he puts our bags down by the little desk. Theres a chill in the air, so Avi turns off the air conditioner.
"Why do you think Im nervous?" I look at him and remember our talk in the car about him wanting to have sex with me.
"Because you havent said anything since we arrived. "
I take a deep breath and watch intently as Avi steps closer to me. His boyish expression gives me a hint that hes just as nervous and insecure as I am.
"Im not nervous. Really. Im not," I say.
One side of his mouth quirks up into a smile. He doesnt believe me at all. "You want to go change in the bathroom?"
Change? As in getting in PJs?
"Sure," I say. Normally this wouldnt be a problem. This isnt the first time Avis seen me in PJs, but this isnt just any normal ordinary night. I dont want to wear a big ol T-shirt to bed. But I dont want to go all sexy, wearing a skimpy tank top to tease him. Okay, I admit I kinda do, so I can see how much I can affect him, but I realize thats totally selfish and manipulative.
Oh, the problems of a teenage girl are endless.
I pull out a PJ set my mom got me for the trip. Its a light blue T-shirt and matching mini-shorts. It covers enough so Im not showing too much cleave, but when I take my bra off in the bathroom Im aware that the chill in the desert air is making me nippy. Over the sink theres a mirror, so I pull up my bangs to inspect George I. Hes almost gone--yeah!
"When I leave the bathroom, Im holding the clothes Ive worn all day clutched in front of my nippyness. Avi is sitting on one of the beds. He looks up and his breath hitches.
"Youre beautiful," he says, staring at me as if Im a goddess.
A shy smile bursts out of me. "Thanks. " I look back at the bathroom. "Dont you want to, uh, wash up?"
"Yeah. " But I notice he doesnt bring any PJs with him into the bathroom. I quickly toss my dirty clothes on top of my suitcase, pull out my pink satin pillow, and hop onto one of the beds. Pulling the thin sheet and blanket above m
y nippy parts, I wonder what Avi will sleep in. "When he comes out of the bathroom, I finally know.
My mouth drops open and I swear I have to stop myself from drooling. Avi is wearing black boxer briefs. Thats it. His military-ripped bod should be oudawed. Hes got a serious six-pack and has muscles in places I didnt even know existed. And when my eyes wander to the bulge in his briefs, I cant help the blush that creeps into my face.
And I was worried about teasing him. Believe me, Im not the teaser in this room. "You are seriously trying to tempt me, arent you?"
He nods.
I reluctantly tear my gaze away. "Well, good night," I say, patting my pillow and pulling the covers over me. "Turn out the light before you go to sleep, will ya?"
Thatll teach him to try and tease me.
But a minute after I pretend to go to sleep, I pop one eye open. Hes still standing by the bathroom door looking every bit a hard-core male model with a body to die for. . . or at least to lose your virginity over. Knowing the guy inside the body is my one true love makes this situation almost unbearable.
"Can I at least push the beds together?" he asks sheepishly.
"I thought you were going to do it while I was in the bathroom. And then I thought since you didnt, maybe you wanted to sleep separately. "
"I didnt want to push the beds together without asking you first. And then you came out here in that sexy outfit and I forgot all about it. "
"Its not sexy," I tell him. "Its just a top and shorts. "
"Amy, thats just about the sexiest thing Ive ever seen on anyone. Maybe its because it matches your eyes. Maybe its because its got lace around the edges. Or maybe its just because youre wearing it. " He looks down, embarrassed, as he pushes the beds together.
Since the frames are made of wood, theres a huge wooden gap between the mattresses. Avi folds one of the sheets into the groove and puts a blanket over it so it wont be too uncomfortable.
"Whats this?" I ask, fingering the three-inch-long, olive green pouch hanging from a string around his neck.
He opens the pouch and reveals a silver metal rectangle stamped with words in Hebrew and a long number. "My ID tag. We cover it so the metal doesnt burn our skin in the heat. "
Theres a gold metal medallion hanging next to the ID tag. "Whats that?"
He fingers the medallion. "All Sayeret Tzefa trainees get it. It has the words Respect, Strength, and Honor on it. Respect for your country, your enemies, and your comrades. Strength in body and mind. Honor to your country, your comrades, and the ones who served before you. " He says it like hes had to rehearse the words for some test.
"Does everyone wear it?"
"If youre caught without it, you have to sing this stupid song to the entire squad. Its a new tradition. I think it was copied from some American Marines that did training here a few years back. "
While I lie back on my pillow, Avi turns off the light.
A few seconds later I feel him sliding into bed next to me. His leg brushes mine and I hear his slow breathing. A sliver of light is shining through the window of the room, so I can make out his silhouette in the darkness. My heart is beating furiously with anticipation, especially when he turns toward me.