“I can’t believe she did that.” Realizing where I am, I push against his chest and take a step back pointing at the door. “You need to leave.”
“Shel—”
“No.” I shake my head frantically while wiping my cheeks. “I can’t do this.”
“Don’t.” He takes a step toward me, and I take another step back, not wanting him to touch me again. Never wanting him to touch me again.
“You should go talk to your kids. I’m sure they’re upset,” I whisper, pointing at the door once more.
“They know about Samuel. They’ve known about him since they were old enough to understand what adoption is.”
“What?” I breathe, taking yet another step away from him. I can’t believe he didn’t warn me, not only about Tina, but about the fact his kids know about our son.
“I know Tina, and knew she’d tell them. I didn’t want her twisting shit in their heads, so I talked to them first.”
“Oh, God.”
“I’m guessing Hunter doesn’t know about the adoption,” he whispers, moving toward me once more.
“No, he doesn’t know about it!” I cry, shaking my head. “Or he didn’t,” I feel a sob climb up my throat and I cover my face. “I was waiting until the right time to tell him.”
“You guys had a kid?” Hunter asks, and I turn to find him standing near the bottom of the stairs, looking between Zach and I “And you gave him away?”
“Honey.” I pull in a ragged breath and take a step in his direction, but he shakes his head and holds my gaze.
“You gave your kid away?”
“Please come sit down.”
“Tell me now!” he yells, making my heartbreak and my hands clench into fists.
“Yes, Zach and I had a son, but no, we didn’t just give him away. We chose a family to raise him, because we were too young to take care of him, and we wanted him to have the best life possible,” I explain quietly, Sensing Zach move closer then feel his hand on my back.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Hunter blinks, trying to fight back tears as his lip wobbles.
“I…” I close my eyes, praying to get this out right. “I was waiting for the right time, waiting until you were old enough to understand.”
“You said you two were only friends. You lied to me.”
“I know, honey. But I haven’t seen Zach in a very long time and you’re young. So young. I wasn’t sure you would understand.”
“I’m not a baby. You always treat me like a baby.” Tears trek down his cheeks while his chin wobbles again.
“You’ll always be my baby.” I shake my head, taking a step toward him. “No matter how big you get, you will always be my baby, and I will always do everything within my power to protect you.”
His hands fist at his sides and his eyes narrow. “Does Dad know?”
“Yes.” I nod. Max knew about Samuel and Zach. I told him about them when we first started dating. When I believed he had the power to heal me. When he wanted to heal me.
“Dad never told me.”
“No, he didn’t,” I agree. “He was waiting until the time was right, too.”
“I want to go home,” he repeats his earlier statement, and I blink back a rush of tears, because he is home, but he’s talking about wanting to go back home to his dad.
“Come sit down, kid,” Zach instructs quietly, and Hunter’s eyes swing to him and narrow. “I want to talk to you, and then I’m going to leave you and your mom to talk.”
“Za—” I begin, but am cut off when Hunter stomps down the last two steps and walks past us into the living room, where he takes a seat on the couch, crossing his arms over his chest.
“What?” he asks snootily, holding Zach’s gaze. If it weren’t for the situation, I would reprimand him for being rude, but I know now is not the time for that. Instead, I take a seat on the couch next to him, but still far away enough to give him his space.
“I want to tell you a story,” Zach begins, taking a seat on the coffee table in front of Hunter.
“Zach,” I try again, only to stop when his eyes slice to me.
“Let me talk then I’ll go.”
“Okay,” I agree, giving in when I see the deeply rooted pain in his eyes.
“I want to tell you a story about a boy who grew up with nothing. He lived with his mom and dad in a one-room apartment. Neither of his parents had jobs most of the time. He didn’t have a bed to sleep on, or food to eat on most days, and in the winter, he didn’t even have a coat to wear to school until he was old enough to work and buy one for himself. Do you understand that?” he asks, and Hunter nods. “Good,” he says quietly.
“That boy with nothing fell in love with a beautiful girl when he was sixteen.” He continues softly, “He knew that girl would be the love of his life from the moment he laid eyes on her. He knew he wanted to give her the world, but also knew that in order to do that, he would have to work very hard.”
Tears begin to blur my vision, while I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from letting them fall. I knew about Zach’s past, I knew how he grew up, and I knew how much he hated it.
“One day, that girl told him she was pregnant. At first, he was excited about the idea of becoming a father and starting a family with her. But then he realized he wouldn’t be able to take care of a baby or the girl he loved, not the way a man is supposed to take care of his family. Faced with that, and knowing how it felt to grow up with nothing, he and the girl made a decision to give their baby to a family who would make sure it always had everything it needed. It wasn’t easy for either of them, but that is how much they loved him.” He pauses, letting his words hang.
Breathing deep, I fight through the pain rocking through me. The pain of his story. The pain of our past. And the fact I know he’s totally full of shit.
“I know it was difficult for you to find out what you found out today, but I hope you’re grown up enough to understand your mom and I did what we thought was best, and it wasn’t something that was easy for either one of us to do.”
“I understand.” Hunter swallows, looking at me.
Zach reaches out, giving Hunter’s shoulder a rub. “I’ll leave you guys to talk now, but if you ever have any questions or just want to talk, I’m next door.”
“Okay.” Hunter nods, and I keep my eyes on him, avoiding looking at Zach.
“Shel.”
“Huh?” I prompt, grabbing Hunter’s hand.
“Can you walk me out?”
Giving Hunter a small smile, I run my hand down his cheek then get up and follow Zach to the door, my eyes to the ground and my mind in turmoil.
“Shel.”
“Please, just go.” I open the door, keeping my attention on my feet when I feel him approach. “Please.” I squeeze my eyes closed as his fingers lift my chin.
“Look at me, Shel.” I shake my head, not trusting myself to speak. “Please.” My lids slowly open without my permission, and when our gazes connect, my breath hitches painfully. “That wasn’t the end of my story or the end of my regrets. I hope one day you’ll let me tell you what happened after you.”
“I know what happened.” I lean in ever so slightly and drop my voice so Hunter can’t hear. “You proved what kind of man you were when you got a woman pregnant and married her. Don’t lie to yourself or to me, and please trust me when I say I know your story.” With that, I tug my chin from his grasp and step back. “Please leave.”
“This isn’t over,” he growls, dropping his face toward mine.
“It’s been over for fifteen years.” I lift my chin, keeping my eyes locked on his before letting out the breath I was holding when he turns and walks away. Closing the door, I lean against it for a moment, trying to figure out why it hurts so bad to watch him leave.