Nothing is guaranteed.
Not ever.
And this—
Fuck, he really is a good kisser.
I rock my hips against his. There’s still too much fabric in the way—my dress and panties, his jeans and boxers—but I can feel him.
He’s already hard.
I lift one leg. Hook it around his waist.
He drops one of his arms. Slings it under my thigh. Holds my legs against him.
I pull back with a sigh. “More.”
He presses his palm into my wrist, holding my arms over my head. “Not yet.”
“But—”
“Not until I say.”
The bossy tone to his voice makes me shake. I’m hot everywhere. And I’m buzzing everywhere.
Holden is already the sexiest guy alive.
When he gets demanding?
Mmm.
My body melts into his.
I wrap my lips around his lower lip. Suck softly. Then harder. Then I scrape my teeth against him, the way he does to me.
He pins me tighter. Rocks his hips against me again and again.
He takes over our kiss. Sucks on my bottom lip. Then the top. Then it’s that scrape of his teeth.
Again and again—
He drags his hand up my thigh. Higher, higher, higher—
There. His fingers skim my panties.
There’s barely anything between us, but it’s too much.
I rock my hips against him.
He kisses me harder.
Deeper.
He claims my mouth as he runs his fingers over my sex. Again and again, until I’m panting and shaking.
When I’m sure I can’t take it anymore he releases me. Steps backward.
“Take off your dress.” He doesn’t wait. He tosses his t-shirt over his head.
Mmm, Holden in only his jeans. That soft shade of blue against his tan skin. The waistband dropping below his hips.
Begging for my hands.
I want to touch him. Taste him. Tease him. Fuck him senseless.
It overwhelms me, how much I want him.
It’s not like our drunken fuck. It’s not fuzzy from the alcohol. I’m not rushing past my dissolved inhibitions.
I’m standing here, feeling everything.
The hint of fear in my stomach. The insecurity in my chest. The nerves in my—
Everywhere.
I feel all that.
But I feel the desire too.
I close my eyes for a moment. I soak in every ounce of it.
The buzz in my veins. The ache between my legs. The sense—the sense that’s everywhere—that I’ll die if I don’t have him every way I can have him.
Any way I can have him.
Is sex always like this?
Or is it just Holden?
Am I finally free? Finally normal?
Maybe I’m there. In touch with my body. Living in my body. Embracing every single pang, want, craving.
Right now—
He lifts me into his arms. Carries me to the bed. Lays me down flat.
Holden nudges my knees apart with his legs. Then he places his body between them.
The weight of him sinks into me.
I reach for my dress. Roll it up my hips. To my waist.
He slips his hand under my thigh. Wraps my leg around his torso. Then the other.
He looks down at me, his green eyes filled with desire. “Too fast?”
“Not fast enough.”
His laugh is soft. “I created a monster.”
“You really did.”
“Good.” He presses his lips to my neck. “I like you needy.”
“Mmm.”
“Demanding.” He drags his lips a little lower.
“Holden—”
“Begging.” He places a kiss on my chest, just above the neckline of my dress. “Fuck, I love your groan so much. Tempted to tease you all day.”
“Mmm.”
“You’re lucky I love the taste of your cunt more.”
My response is all vowels. He’s right. The way he says that—
It’s so fucking hot.
It’s too fucking hot.
It’s just wrong.
He presses his palms into my thighs, pinning my legs to the ground. Then he shifts down my body.
Until his mouth is against the inside of my knee.
He teases me with a soft kiss. Then he moves higher, higher, higher—
Up my thigh.
So, so close to where I need him.
Almost.
Almost.
He pulls away. Brings his mouth to my other leg. The inside of my knee.
He teases me the same way. Up, higher and higher, until he’s almost there—
Then down my other leg.
Again and again.
Until I’m shaking.
Until I’m dizzy.
Until I’m clawing at his hair.
And again.
Again.
There—
His mouth brushes my sex. Over my panties.
Then it’s the heat of his breath.
It’s strange, with the fabric in the way, but the friction is still divine.
He teases me with another hot breath.
Then it’s his lips against my panties.
Fuck, the feeling of the cotton against my skin. His warm mouth so, so close.
But so, so far.
He keeps me pinned to the bed as he pulls my panties aside.
His fingers brush my sex.
My clit.
Then it’s his soft, wet mouth.
Sensation overwhelms me. It’s so much, so different than his hand, so different than anything.
I reach for something to grab onto. Get the soft sheets.
They’re practically my sheets at this point.
We’re practically in my bed.
Fuck, maybe we can do this in my bed.
Maybe this can be—
No, maybe doesn’t matter. Tomorrow doesn’t matter. This is all that matters.
He works me with soft strokes. Then hard ones. Fast. Slow. Circles. Zigzags.
He winds the tension inside me tighter and tighter. Until I’m ready to burst.