His hand moved into my hair, and he placed his forehead against mine. He kept it there for a long time, closing his eyes as he held me in my entryway. Then he kissed me goodbye, a gentle kiss that didn’t linger and turn into more.
“Bye.” I watched him walk out and shut the door behind himself.
I stood there, devastated, as if he’d just walked out of my life for good.
Patricia let me inside. “Hey, Catalina. I’ll let your father know you’re here.”
“Actually, I’m just here to see my brother. Has he come home yet?”
“About thirty minutes ago.” She stood in jeans and a nice blouse, looking nothing like a housekeeper when she wore cute clothes like that.
“Anna?”
“She hasn’t come home yet.” She examined my face, knowing something was wrong. “Everything alright, honey?”
“Yeah, just a long day.” I turned to the stairs. “I’ll let myself up.”
“Alright. Your father is taking a nap anyway. He’ll probably be awake by the time you’re finished.”
I took the stairs to the third floor. There was a maroon rug down the long hallway, over the dark hardwood floor. The right side was all windows and paintings in between, and the guest bedrooms were on another floor.
I approached the door but didn’t knock.
I almost turned around and left.
But I stood there, determined to do this, determined to have this conversation. I knocked.
“Yeah?” His response was immediate.
I opened the door and poked my head inside.
He sat at the dining table with his laptop in front of him, shirtless because he never seemed to wear clothes when he was home. It reminded me of Heath, who was hardly ever dressed when we stayed in together. “Is this a bad time?”
He shut his laptop. “Why don’t you ever call before you stop by?”
“You never tell me you’re coming to my performances. You just show up.”
“That’s a public event—not my private home.” He got out of the chair and walked inside his closet.
I took that as an invitation and sank into the chair across from his.
When he returned, his naked chest was covered by a gray shirt. His eyes didn’t give me any warmth before he sat across from me. Last time we saw each other, he offered to let me move in, to buy me my own place, but now he was back to business as usual. “I think Dad’s taking a nap.”
“Yeah, that’s what Patricia told me.”
He pushed the laptop aside and looked out the window for a second. “Nice to see you in jeans and a sweater.” He turned back to me.
“Yeah. I’m comfortable.”
He cocked his head slightly to the side, looking into my face as if he saw something he needed to hang on to. “Something wrong, Cat?”
Now that I was face-to-face with him, looking into my mother’s eyes, seeing so much of myself in him, I was more nervous than before. There was time to turn back, to abandon this idea, but I continued to sit there. “Actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about…”
He cocked his head again, his eyes even more focused than they were before.
“I need you to do me a favor.”
“Anything,” he said immediately. “Whatever you want.”
That was a good answer. “Alright… I need you to stay calm. I need you to listen to everything I have to say, to remember that I’m your sister, that I wouldn’t come to you with this unless it was important to me.”
His eyes narrowed slightly. “Jesus…” He looked away for a moment, sighing loudly as he prepared for whatever bomb I was about to drop on his shoulders. His fingers pinched the bridge of his nose before he dragged his fingers to his lips.
“Damien.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re pregnant…”
I shot him a glare. “Damien, I’m being serious.”
“So, you aren’t pregnant?” he asked.
“No,” I snapped.
He released a sigh, like that was the thing he was most afraid of.
“Promise me.”
“You’re scaring me, sis.”
“Well…it’s not good news.”
He looked away again, taking a deep breath before he turned to me. After a few seconds, he was still, collected, ready. “Please tell me you aren’t sick—”
“Nothing like that.”
He relaxed further, his hands coming together in his lap as he regarded me. He gave me a slight nod, an invitation to speak.
Now, I had the floor.
Fuck, I had the floor. “Alright…I don’t know where to start.”
He stayed quiet, doing as I asked by staying calm and patient. His green eyes were glued to mine, still like a living statue.
“Well, I’m seeing someone.”
All he did was take a breath.
“And I really like him. We’ve been seeing each other for a while…and he makes me happy.”
Damien kept the same expression. “But I’m not going to like him, am I?”
I shook my head. “No…”
He curled his bottom lip into his mouth as he made a strained expression, like he was doing everything he could to follow my directions. “Who is he?”