But there, standing in the warm, licking tide on the picture-perfect beach with our shoulders touching, I didn’t feel so trapped. So lost. So confused.
“I can understand why you wouldn’t want to say goodbye to this place,” I murmured, unable to tear my eyes off the horizon as a pod of dolphins broke the glassy surface, gliding past like ballerinas of the ocean.
The water was so clear, the reef around the island danced and refracted, one moment glowing in sunshine and anemones, the next dressed in shadow from a passing shoal of fish.
It was hard to focus on the underwater universe. Hazy and hidden beneath the surface, it was so different to ours, governed by totally foreign laws where even gravity wasn’t welcome. Yet just because we weren’t adapted to live there didn’t mean others didn’t find their purpose and place within the towers of coral and carpets of sand.
Maybe there was wisdom in that.
Wisdom to know that while I didn’t feel as if I could survive on this island—that I was totally a fish out of water—somehow others flourished and found solitude.
Jess sighed, shielding her eyes from the intensity of the sunshine. “It truly is magical. But it’s not just the island that makes me want to stay. It’s not just the ability of learning to grow your own food or the simplicity of living in the tropics…I want to stay because—”
I looked at her, doing my best not to seem overly eager. “Because…?”
I wanted to know.
I wanted to know why she’d stopped.
She caught my gaze and smiled lopsidedly. “I can tell you…can’t I?” Her eyes narrowed, searching mine as if rifling through my soul for answers. Answers she approved of before she nodded. “I want to stay because Sullivan isn’t what you think. He’s a workaholic. He’s a genius for what he’s created. Yet…instead of enjoying his own creations, he just keeps working.” Her voice quietened to a whisper. “He needs someone who isn’t after his drugs, his body, or his legacy. For a while now…that was me. All I ask of him is that I can stay. I’ll clean the villas or cook in the restaurant if he doesn’t want me as a goddess anymore. I’ll take any job he needs me to do. But most of all…I want to stay, because eventually, he’s going to break, and someone he can trust should be there to pick up the pieces.”
“Break?”
She nodded. “He’s been on a path that isn’t sustainable ever since I met him…and it’s getting worse.” She sighed, turning to face the sea again. “Before, he used to laugh. Now, he barely ever smiles. Before, he seemed human. Now…I’m not so sure.”
Giving me a quick nudge, she sighed again, “I guess I just don’t want him to crash and burn, that’s all. We all have limits.”
“And why do you think he’s reaching his?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” She ran fingers through her hair, cupping her curls so muggy air could lick away the glistening sweat on her nape. “Just a feeling.” Dropping her hair, she turned to me. “Anyway, that’s a dark topic for another day. Let’s talk about you. Anything you want to know? Anything you want help with?”
I wanted to talk more about Sully, but I refused to come across as those other girls—fascinated and fanciful, hanging onto every word about him. My concerns about Sully stemmed entirely from self-preservation.
Glancing down the beach, left and right, I stiffened as two men appeared from the pathway. Dark sunglasses shielded their eyes while one wore a baseball hat over salt and pepper hair and the other let his floppy blond mess stick to his heat-damp forehead.
“Oh, no.” Jealousy grabbed my hand, linking her fingers with mine. “Guests.”
“Are they not allowed to see us?” My stomach churned as the men waved and started toward us. One shorter than the other, both wearing board-shorts and t-shirts ready to be peeled off for a swim. Perhaps they would be more interested in water sports than two stranded goddesses.
“They are. Some nights we have mingles and mixers. But usually, Sullivan likes to keep us away, purely to ramp up the anticipation of Euphoria…for both parties.”
“What is Euphoria?” I asked quickly, aware our time of privacy was quickly depleting with each of the men’s flip-flopped steps. “I’ve heard about it so often but still have no idea.”
Jess smiled, a knowing almost patronizing gleam in her gaze. “Euphoria is…euphoria.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means it’s a place created entirely by Sullivan. I told you he was a genius. He can take a fantasy and turn it into a reality. Everything you think you know…is gone. Everything you think is impossible is suddenly the only thing that makes sense.” She let my hand go after a tight squeeze. “Honestly, the only way to know is to try it.”