“No,” he says flatly. “I am a meat eater. Is this how you really want to proceed, Kim? You want to pick apart what we have so you can feel victorious over me?”
“I don’t know! Maybe I do!” I fling the pocket into the sink, enjoying the wet splat it makes. “Maybe I want to know just who I’m dealing with. Are you even a gladiator? Is your name Nassakth?”
He stalks into the kitchen, a furious look on his face. “You think I have lied to you about that?”
“I don’t know!” I back up a few steps, until I press up against the counter. “I don’t know what to think!”
The praxiian stops, and the look on his face is utterly crushed. “You think I would hurt you?”
I swallow hard. An hour ago, I would have said “never.” But an hour ago, everything was different. “I think I need answers before I can trust you for anything.”
His eyes are sorrowful. Defeated. “Ask what you will, then, and I will answer you, even though it goes against everything that I am.”
I nod toward the door. This feels a bit like poking a wound, but how can I not ask? How can I ignore the truth just because Nassakth makes sad eyes at me? “Who’s the guy that the bounty hunters are looking for?”
The look on Nassakth’s face would almost be comical if the situation weren’t so dire. He grimaces as if tasting something awful, and then sighs heavily. “His name is Kolvir al’Naanti and he is a slaver. I became aware of him when you invited him over to your home. You wish to know the truth? All of the truth? Sometimes you are very foolish, Kim, because you put out an ad and told all the unscrupulous males in the area that you were alone and vulnerable and looking for a male.”
I flinch. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but…he’s right. I don’t think like a dangerous criminal, and so I see everything differently than they would. When he says it like that…I feel as foolish as he says I am.
“Do you know what could have happened to you? Do you know how many males I had to chase away to keep you safe? And when this one would not take the hint, I investigated him. I found out that you had invited a notorious slaver right to your door. Do you know what he planned to do with you, Kim? He was going to return to your home that evening, drug you and kidnap you, and take you to the nearest space station and sell you to a brothel. He was not interested in your property. He was not interested in marrying you. He was interested in only making a few quick credits. And do you know who cares about what happens to humans on this end of the galaxy, Kim?”
“No one,” I whisper, feeling sick. No one cares. We’re nothing to them. If he’s right, then I almost cost myself…everything. Eight months of freedom and hard work, almost gone in a flash because I was stupid and trusting.
“Me,” Nassakth growls. He storms forward, thumping a hand on his chest. “I care, Kim. I have always cared about you. And so I took care of the problem.” His nostrils flare, and his expression grows serious. “I took care of him…like I took care of my master. And now you know my ugly secrets. I am not a good man, Kim. I am a murderer and a runaway slave who killed his master to get away. This is the truth I have hid from you.“
50
KIM
I gape. That’s all I can do.
To find out that Nassakth, my protective, caring mate—openly admits to cold-blooded murder—is more than a little shocking. I need time to process this.
He takes a step toward me and I raise a hand in the air. “Don’t.”
“I did not tell you because this is the reaction I feared,” he says thickly. His expression is proud, his shoulders straight. “Do not ask me if I regret my actions, because you already know that answer.”
I do. He regrets nothing. It’s obvious in his stance, in the defiant look on his face. He killed two men in cold blood and he’d do it again in a heartbeat. This isn’t quite the same as an arena fight, where both parties go in knowing what’s expected of them. This is different, and I’m not sure I can reconcile it.
“I need to gather my thoughts,” I say faintly.
“Do you…” His jaw clenches, and at his side, his fist tightens. His tail flicks. “Do you want me to take you back to your home?”
I shake my head. “It’s not safe. You heard what she said. You were there. I’m not safe there anymore. I’m not safe anywhere.” As I say the words, I realize that’s why I’m so cold and wooden-feeling right now. I felt safe with Nassakth. I felt safe for the first time in years and years, and now it’s been stripped away from me again. “I’m trapped here with you, whether I like it or not.”