“Yeah, but that day at the jewelry store had to have been uncomfortable for you. I never would’ve even known it.”
She shrugged. “I guess I’m really good at hiding things.”
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide things from me. You know, no matter what happens, our friendship has become really important to me. It’s funny, I always used to think of Sawyer as my best friend, but it might actually be you.”
Lily felt like she needed to hold her breath, if only to hold on to this moment. Tears misted her eyes. “Now you’re going to make me cry.”
“Don’t do that. Come here.”
Noah pulled her into a hug and she sank into his embrace. Right or wrong, Noah’s arms were the only place she wanted to be. She felt safe, like nothing could ever hurt her. That was saying a lot considering the chaos in which they were currently living. He caressed her back and rocked her back and forth. It felt so good. Impossibly good.
“It’s okay to cry if you need to. You’ve been under a lot of stress. I’m sorry for that. I know my brother and I have been the source of a lot of it.”
She clung to him, not wanting to let go. If only he knew that this hug was about so much more than her painful past or a bad boyfriend—it was about having what you want within your reach and not being able to take it. She wanted him even more now than she had at the wedding. She wanted things to be uncomplicated. She wanted a chance at Lily and Noah. But everything seemed to be standing in their way—the business, her career, his reluctant heart.
It was difficult, but she extracted herself from the hug. Giving herself false hope was a one-way ticket to misery. “So? Dinner?” She discreetly wiped a tear away from her cheek.
“I have no clue what it’s in my fridge, but there’s definitely wine.”
“Good. I’m going to need that. Maybe a permanent IV drip.”
“Moving got you that stressed out?” He got up from the floor and extended his hand to help her.
“Among other things.” Now that she was standing, it took everything she had not to hug him again, but she didn’t need to tell him that he was most of the reason she needed wine. “I get to meet Marcy in the grand ballroom downstairs tomorrow afternoon to start planning our wedding.”
“Can we have a chocolate cake? I hate those plain vanilla ones.”
“You can have whatever you want.” She laughed, but her heart ached at the thought of what her words really meant. This wasn’t a joke. They were spinning a fictional web and it was messing with her head and her heart. She didn’t want to be pretending anymore. It hurt too much. “We both know the wedding’s not going to happen.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Lily liked spending time with Marcy Hannafort just fine, but she had been dreading their wedding planning meeting. She hated everything about this—pretending to have a life that she’d never have, with a man she could easily end up wanting forever, and now they were planning the one thing Lily couldn’t stomach the idea of—a wedding.
She did like spending time in the other parts of the Grand Legacy, though, so she tried to focus on the positives of that. She and Marcy walked around the grand ballroom, Marcy discussing seating and flow while Lily admired the glorious art deco glass ceiling and other historic details Noah and Sawyer had so painstakingly restored.
“Lily, darling. I feel like you aren’t really here with me. Is everything okay?”
Apparently, Lily wasn’t as good at faking some things as she’d thought she was. “There’s so much to think about. It’s overwhelming.” The truth was that it wasn’t overwhelming at all. If this were her real wedding, Lily would be organizing the heck out of it, exactly as she had the first time. No detail would be overlooked. The groom would have whatever flavor of cake he wanted. The guest list would’ve been set weeks ago. Lily would have her perfect dress, just like before. It would be a different gown the second time, though. The first had landed at a thrift store. Hopefully a bride-in-need had found it and her happy-ever-after.
“I don’t know, Marcy. This is stressing me out. I have a million things I need to do back at the office and we’re trying to make all of these decisions. This isn’t really my sort of thing.”
“Do you want me to take over? Because I can. I can promise you a beautiful wedding. It’ll be your dream day. Just like you’ve probably imagined since you were a little girl.”
Lily was instead stuck with the indelible vision of her nightmare day, of standing in the back of the church and never getting to walk up the aisle. Brides don’t get left at the altar. There’s no reason to even go into the chapel if the groom-to-be isn’t standing there, waiting. Brides get left in the lobby.