She slipped her hand into his and he quickly wrapped the comforting warmth of his fingers around hers. She rose to standing and he held his hand at the small of her back as they walked out to the dance floor. It was like stepping into another world, where white lights twinkled, soft breezes blew and romance was unavoidable. There was no tension, only happiness and celebration of love all around them. Noah pulled her into his arms and tugged her closer. Her breath left her lips in a rush. An arrogant off-kilter smile crossed his lips. If Lily could’ve done anything, it would’ve been to trap the magic of that moment in a box and keep it forever.
Marcy glanced over at them and smiled. Lily returned the expression, watching Marcy with Lyle. They were in love. You could see it in the way they clung to each other, the way they gazed into each other’s eyes.
“What are you looking at?” Noah didn’t look to see what had her attention. He remained focused on her.
“The Hannaforts. They’re so in love.”
“How could you possibly know that?”
“I can tell by looking at them. You can feel it.”
“Whatever you’re seeing is probably just as much of an act as we are.”
The statement hurt. She hated the pessimism in his voice, made even worse by the reminder of their arrangement. “How can you can say that with such conviction?”
“I’ve seen my dad look at lots of women the way Lyle looks at Marcy. Trust me. It doesn’t last.”
“My parents look at each other like that and they’re still in love. Happily married for nearly thirty years.” She didn’t like the pleading nature of her voice, but if she believed in anything, she did believe that some people found true love.
“I don’t even see how it’s possible to keep a spark for that long. It has to die out. Then what do you have to look forward to?”
Lily shook her head. “That’s the excuse every affirmed bachelor uses. You don’t have to rationalize your life choices. There’s nothing wrong with being single. Look at me. I’m single, too. And I’m basically happy being that way.”
“Why is that, exactly?” His eyes swept across her face. “Or more precisely how is that, exactly?”
“I don’t understand the question.”
“Well, you clearly believe in love and romance. You got all choked up at the wedding today. And at Charlotte’s wedding. So why wouldn’t you find some guy and jump in feetfirst?”
If only he knew it wasn’t as simple as that. She wasn’t about to tell him now. “Maybe the right guy never came along.”
“Ah, the elusive right guy. The guy who doesn’t worry about things like the spark dying out. He doesn’t date dozens of women. Am I right?”
“The guy who was in that tabloid video is the wrong guy.” She hoped that he would draw the logical conclusion from that. He wasn’t like the Noah in the video. Not really. She refused to believe this story he kept telling himself about how he wasn’t capable of more.
“So you watched it.” His entire body tensed.
“I did. Yesterday morning.”
“And now you know I’m a total ass.”
She shook her head. “I’ve never thought that about you, ever. The guy in that video skims the surface. He doesn’t care about anything deep or meaningful. I don’t believe you’re that guy. I know you’re capable of more.”
He scanned her face, but it was difficult to gauge his reaction. Was he upset? It didn’t seem that way. “What makes you think that?”
“I see how much you care about your job. I see how close you are to Sawyer and Charlotte. It really made you mad that Sawyer didn’t tell you Kendall wasn’t feeling well. Anyone who cares that deeply about anything is capable of love and commitment. I’m thinking that in your case it comes down to you not wanting to be like your dad.”
His lips molded into a thin line. “It’s more complicated than that.”
“It always is. Emotions are tricky. You’re not the only one who struggles with them, Noah. That’s part of why I worry about what we’re doing.”
“Our arrangement?” he whispered.
There was so little reward in the admission she wanted to make, but at least it would be off her chest. Tomorrow, they’d fly back to New York and she could disguise her embarrassment for a few months and it would hopefully fade away. “Walking around holding hands and kissing all the time, I can feel myself getting attached to you. And I know I’m not what you want.”
A low groan left his throat, and even though the song changed, Noah kept them moving on the dance floor. “Why would you say that? Why would you ever say that?” There was an angry and restless edge to his voice.