She had been hostile and unfair last night. And now she had driven a wedge between them. She sighed, falling back onto the soft Egyptian cotton bedspread, and stared up at the ceiling.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to share her inner turmoil with her husband. She just felt that it was pointless to do so. Yes, she had formed a bond with Luca. Yes, for the first time in her life she had felt the all-encompassing yearning to care for a child as her own. But she would never do it. She would never be so naive as to assume that she was in any way qualified to be a parent. She was a very good wedding planner, and she hoped she was a satisfying wife. But she was not cut out to be somebody’s mother.
Her own mother had been warm and caring. She had given up her career in hotel management to stay at home as a full-time parent and had made it clear that she believed all women should do the same. Dara knew that Leo didn’t think that way—he went out of his way to promote equality in his company, and often commented on how proud he was of his wife’s accomplishments. And yet the image of her mother baking in the kitchen would always be her measure of what a good wife looked like.
She stared out at the waves crashing onto the cliffs below. Why was she having all these thoughts now? She loved her life. She had more than most women could dream of.
Needing to escape her overactive thoughts, she walked to the window. The winds were too high today to walk down on the beach, and being outside in the chilly December air wasn’t her idea of a relaxing getaway.
It had been Leo’s idea to take time off work, and yet here he was abandoning her on their third day. Clearly he was annoyed, and was choosing to punish her.
Her mind wandered back to the orphanage once more. She was restless and annoyed with herself for allowing this charade to go on for so long. It wasn’t fair to the little boy or to the hopeful orphanage staff. She needed to explain herself and give them a clear idea that she would no longer be visiting.
She could see Luca one last time.
Before she’d even realized what she was doing, she’d picked up her car keys and was powering up the cobbled driveway in her Porsche. She could be at the orphanage within the hour, and back well before lunchtime. Leo wouldn’t even know she’d gone anywhere.
* * *
The familiar white stucco facade of the orphanage was like a balm to the uncomfortable ache in her chest. Dara knocked on the door and stepped back when it swung open to reveal the kind-faced head of the orphanage—Matron Anna.
‘Signora Valente, I’m surprised to see you here.’ She frowned. ‘I thought you were in Palermo this week?’
‘What would make you think that?’ Dara smiled as she stepped inside and let the younger woman take her jacket.
‘Signor Valente said that you were so busy this week...’
‘He did? When were you speaking with him?’ Dara frowned, just as a roar of laughter came from the nearby common room. A familiar voice drifted down the hallway—a deep male voice filled with mischief and laughter.
Dara moved silently towards the doorway of the common room, her heart hammering uncomfortably in her chest. The children were all gathered in the centre of the room, on the floor, and each of their little faces was beaming up at the man who stood in the centre of their circle. Leo stood poised with a red yo-yo in his hand. His posture was like that of a magician about to wow his crowd.
‘And now for my next trick...’ he proclaimed, waiting a moment as the children shouted loudly for him to continue. ‘This one is called the lindy loop. Are you ready?’
The excitement in the air was palpable, and every eye in the room was trained on Leo as he set the red object on an intricate movement up in the air. The yo-yo caught several times on its string, before spinning up into the air and down to the ground and then landing safely back into its master’s hand.
The children clapped loudly, shouting multiple requests for new tricks at their entertainer. Leo was calm and indulgent, chatting easily to the crowd of little people in a way Dara had never seemed to master. She had spent weeks trying to gain the confidence of these kids, and the most she’d managed had been sharing lunch at the same table.
Luca always stayed by her side, though.
Her thoughts back on the present moment, she suddenly absorbed the fact that her husband was here. In the orphanage. He had lied to her, and for that she should be furious.
And yet all she felt was a same sense of anticipation. As if she was hurtling head first down a hill and she had no power to stop it.
As she watched, Luca stepped forward from the crowd of children. His soft black curls were falling forward into his eyes as they always did. He had the kind of unruly hair that refused to behave under the ministrations of any brush. She imagined Leo’s hair would be much the same if he let it grow any longer.