No. What she needed was him. She just couldn’t tell him that. ‘I’m fine, just...just say what you want to say. I’m ready.’
Or not.
‘Hell, Ruby, you don’t make anything easy for a man, do you?’
She didn’t know what he meant by that because she was trying to make this as painless as possible for both of them.
‘Look, Sam, we complicated things by having an affair and now we have to uncomplicate it. I get it.’
‘Affair?’ he said with quiet menace. ‘Is that what you call it?’
‘I don’t know. Affair...fling...’
‘Don’t you dare say hook-up,’ he warned. ‘I hate that term.’
‘I wasn’t going to but I think I understand why you want to talk to me, and you don’t have to worry. I’m not going to harass you, or cry all over you, or tell anyone what happened. Well, other than Miller and Molly but they won’t say anything to anyone. I promise.’
‘I’m not worried about office gossip, Ruby.’ Frustration etched his tone. ‘That was always your issue.’
‘Well, if you’re worried I’ll make a nuisance of myself and want more from you, I won’t. I would never do that. I would never behave like that.’
‘Why not?’
Ruby frowned. ‘Why not? Because who would want someone like that? Someone clingy and needy?’
‘Sweetheart, I feel clingy and needy every time you get within two feet of me.’
‘What?’ She blinked up at him as if she hadn’t heard him right. ‘How...? You can’t be serious.’
‘I am.’ And as if to prove it he leant down and kissed her, taking her mouth with a savage hunger that incited her own.
Ruby’s hands fisted in his shirt as she melted against him, the chemistry between them immediately hitting combustion levels, as it always did when they were this close. Sam groaned as he thoroughly explored her mouth, reluctantly drawing back and grimacing as he glanced at the small round tables filled with people pretending not to notice them.
‘I don’t know what it is about you and public places, but you’re hell on my self-control,’ he complained. ‘You always have been.’
Ruby didn’t know whether to be insulted or thrilled by the admission, the after-effects of that kiss still messing with her brain. ‘It’s only Wednesday night,’ she said. ‘Friday night is the one we usually muck up.’
‘Actually I’d say Friday night is our best night so far. Along with a couple of Saturdays and Sundays thrown in for good measure.’
‘Sam,’ she implored huskily. She wasn’t in the mood for him to tease her, or try to get her to relax.Her emotions were too fragile to cope. Too raw. ‘Please hurry up and tell me what you want.’
‘Well, that’s easy,’ he said simply. ‘I want you.’
Ruby felt slightly dizzy at his words. She knew he meant in bed and her heart broke a little because she wanted that too but she also wanted the rest. She wanted the fairy tale Molly was always spouting on about. The one that didn’t exist. ‘I’m sorry but I can’t go there again,’ she said on a rush, unconsciously wrapping her arms around her stomach. ‘Please don’t ask me to.’
Sam took a step back, his eyes dark. ‘Is that because of the way I responded to your transfer to London? Because if it is I know I didn’t handle it well.’
‘It’s not that.’ She swallowed hard. ‘I don’t blame you for being upset about the transfer. You’re my boss and I should have told you earlier.’
‘I didn’t get upset because I’m your boss, Ruby. I was upset because, while I had been sitting in my office trying to work out how to tell you that I love you, I imagined you were sitting in yours picturing how you were going to escape to London.’
Sam’s words sent a shockwave through Ruby, turning her eyes wide. ‘What did you say?’
‘I love you. But I don’t blame you for doubting me,’ he said softly. ‘I feel like I’ve been dancing around my feelings for you ever since we met. But I do love you, Ruby. With all my heart.’ He took her trembling hands in his. ‘It took me a while to recognise how I felt because I learned at a young age that it was easier to turn away from these kinds of feelings than it was to face them.’