She hadn’t seen Jack in the morning, and Lexi had assumed that had been on purpose. He probably wanted to give her the space she needed.
Lose Jack and be with Ramsey.
Be with Jack and lose Ramsey.
Be by herself without either of them.
Move back to New York, start a new life, rebound-fuck John all over again.
Run from her past for a future that couldn’t even begin to handle her emotional baggage.
“Chica!” Chyna cried.
She sounded hella happy in that moment, and it made Lexi frown at the thought of bringing her down.
“I’m glad you’re back.”
“Oh my God. I’m not. I could live on the beach with the ocean and a private cabana on a private island, having marathon sex and drinking my life away. It was pure bliss. Pure f**king bliss, Alexa,” Chyna crooned.
“It’s good to hear that,” Lexi said sullenly. She knew Chyna didn’t have a picture-perfect life, but she had a life with Adam that was about as pristine as it could get since that last breakup when they had finally decided to commit.
“What did I miss? You sound like you’re…perpetually, emotionally distraught.”
“It’s not perpetual.”
Chyna snorted. “Yeah, okay.”
“Whatever.”
“What? Don’t act dumb. You’re a hot mess. I’ve come to live with it. At least you’re hot.”
She could practically see Chyna shrugging it off.
“Are you still drunk? You’re talking like an idiot. Or is that just your perpetual state?” Lexi asked harshly.
“Drunk is my perpetual state. We both know I’m a genius,” Chyna said with a giggle.
“Oh…totally. Genius.”
“Anyway, you shit. What’s up with you and that buzzkill sound coming out of your mouth?”
Really, she could always rely on Chyna for an understanding, caring pick-me-up.
“I walked out on Ramsey, left the house, and haven’t seen or spoken to him in, um…five days. I went to Jack’s, and he’s in love with me. So, I guess he wants to be with me. Now, I have to decide what I want to do, because I don’t think that they’re down for a threesome,” Lexi said, letting it all out in a rushed paraphrase of everything that had happened.
“Damn. That would be some really good hate sex,” Chyna mused aloud.
“Chyna!” Lexi cried. Sometimes, her best friend astounded her, but still, she couldn’t help but laugh.
“What? What do you want me to say? You’re in the same position you were three years ago, except this time, you have the baggage to boot with Ramsey and a diamond ring on your finger. This is the same conversation we had before I got married. What do you want?” Chyna implored. “You don’t need a guy to make you happy. You wouldn’t have spent three years in law school killing yourself if that were the case. If Ramsey doesn’t make you happy, then let him go. If Jack doesn’t make you happy, then let him go. If the only thing that will make you happy is a threesome, I know some people who could help with that.”
Lexi laughed again. “I think I’ll pass.”
“Your loss.”
“Chyna,” she said softly, contemplating what she had said, “what if I don’t know what I want?”
“You do. You’ve always known. You just have to stop thinking about what everyone else wants. Ramsey wants you. Jack wants you. I bet John still wants you. I f**king want you back in New York, but I’m not going to ask you to come back unless that’s what you want!”
“Well, I have to talk to Ramsey tonight and decide what I’m going to do.”
“Whatever you do, it will be the right choice because it’s for you, chica. No one can tell you that you made the wrong choice. No one. I’m certainly not going to. If anyone tries to say that what you decided to do wasn’t right, then you just remind that person that it’s your life. No one else is going to live it but you. So, why not live by my philosophy? Do whatever the hell you want and tell everyone else to just f**k off.”
Chyna made everything sound so easy. It was, after all, Lexi’s decision, and she was the one who would have to live with the choice that she made. It didn’t exactly make the decision easier because she still had to choose. She still had to hurt someone who she cared deeply for. But at least when she made the decision, she would know that it was the right one.
“Thanks, C.”
“Good luck tonight. Call me later to let me know how it goes. I want to book you a flight back up to celebrate.”
“You don’t even know what I’m going to do,” Lexi said.
“First, I so know what you’re going to do. I’m just waiting for you to know what you’re going to do. And second, we’re not celebrating you choosing someone. We’re celebrating you putting yourself first and making the right choice for you,” Chyna told her. “That’s the Lexi I knew who called me a slut and a whore outside of the club and f**king smirked at me like you knew it was true. That’s the Lexi who placed in the top ten of her class and passed the New York and Georgia bar in the same summer. You’ve got it all, chica. Now, take what you want.”
“What am I going to do?”
“Oh no! I’m not telling you what to do. I love you, but I’m not making that decision. I chose Adam. Now, it’s your turn.”
Lexi nodded and took a deep breath. It was time for that. Chyna was right. Glancing down at her watch, she realized how quickly her break was disappearing, and if she wanted to eat anything, then she needed to get off the phone.
After ending her call with Chyna, Lexi shot off a quick text message to Ramsey.
We need to talk tonight. Can I call you when I get off work, so we can meet up?
Of course. I can’t wait to see you and hear your voice.
Lexi bit her lip and thought about the decision she had to make going forward. It was all she could think about throughout her meal, in the courtroom, and back in her office late that night. Her boss cut her out early because she was so out of it. He told her to be better prepared tomorrow, or he was cutting her from the case, too. That was hardly true since she had done all the legwork on the project, but it still stung when he said that to her.
It also didn’t help that by sending her home early, he was forcing her to face her problems hours before she was ready. Though, she would likely never be ready. She just had to suck it up and face what she was walking into.