“Are you all right?” John asked.
“What?” Lexi asked, brushing her palms down her dress again and again.
“You look a little nervous, and you’re kind of pale.”
“Am I?” she gasped, her face blanching further.
“Yeah, you are. Do you need some water? Or do you need to sit down?”
“No, I’m fine. Just…weddings make me nervous,” she admitted.
“Right. Not the marrying type,” he said without any humor in his voice. “Funny since you have the huge ring on your finger.”
“Ramsey’s different,” she said softly.
There was no point in having this conversation with John. It had never ended well in the past. She doubted it would get any better in the future.
“Right,” he repeated.
He smirked at her, but it was equivalent to him just rolling his eyes.
Infuriating man!
“Seriously though. Water?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
“No. Seriously, I’m fine.”
She wasn’t. She felt like she might hyperventilate while walking down that aisle with John. It wasn’t even her wedding, and she was acting like this. She needed to get a handle on herself.
The wedding planner rushed back over to them and smiled through her stress. Lexi didn’t know why the woman was stressing. This had to be one of her easier weddings. It was so small, no more than fifty people in attendance. It was probably even less if Lexi had to guess. They could get through this.
“All set? Just link arms there,” the wedding planner said.
Lexi slipped her hand into the crook of John’s elbow, and he pulled her in a little closer. She took a deep breath and promised not to let it get to her.
“Once you guys are out there, remember to turn at the same time to your places. Chyna will follow once you’re in your spots.”
“Ready?” John whispered in her ear.
Lexi nodded.
And then, the doors were whisked open, and music played a soft classical song. John took the first step, urging her forward. They walked across the rose petals, and she was careful to keep her balance.
Her eyes drifted to Ramsey, who was seated in the middle of the bride’s side. He was in a suit and tie. His green eyes were locked solely on her. He didn’t even blink at the fact that another man was walking her down the aisle. He just continued staring up at her adoringly.
Why wouldn’t this bother him? John was anything but platonic toward her. He never had been. Not that she wanted Ramsey to be irritated with her, but did he just not care?
She was being irrational again. Why was it upsetting her that he didn’t care? Wasn’t that what she wanted? Wasn’t that what she had fought for with Jack?
And now, Jack was getting divorced…and he had told her that he loved her…and he wanted to take her home with him. She wondered if Ramsey would still be okay with it.
Her mind flashed back to the night when he had proposed. She had walked through that restaurant and seen the cookie-cutter wives and the cookie-cutter husbands and the couples who barely cared about each other. She had wondered then if she was headed on that path, if she was going to end up sitting around in nice restaurant because that was what they did rather than truly enjoying each other’s company. How had she swept that under the rug? She still didn’t know if that was where she was heading.
She loved Ramsey. She needed to stop her mind from wandering. This was just a walk down the aisle with John. This had no reflection on her relationship…on her fiancé.
“You remember that conversation we had in the hospital?” John whispered as they neared the platform.
“Yes,” Lexi whispered, intuitively knowing where this conversation was going.
“You’re regretting not taking that out right now.”
Lexi breathed in sharply. She had known it was something like that, but it didn’t stop it from hurting. Was she regretting that?
No…
She never would have taken the out that he had given her. She hadn’t wanted to come back to New York. She had been set on Ramsey…still set on Ramsey. That was the life that she had chosen. It was the life she wanted to lead.
Wasn’t it?
“That offer still stands,” John said right before they broke apart.
John moved to stand next to Adam. Holding her flowers up to her chest, Lexi turned at the same time and took her place next to where Chyna would be standing. John caught her gaze, and he smirked as if he knew that she was considering the offer.
How could she ever consider an offer like that? What was wrong with her? What would make her do that? She felt so out of it all of a sudden. The conversation with Chyna a few weeks ago had only put further doubts in her mind. As if she wasn’t already freaked-out enough, she was now constantly thinking about what she wanted. Was this what she wanted?
It felt like it—most of the time.
But was that good enough?
Lexi averted her gaze from John. She didn’t want to hear his words echoing in her mind. You’re regretting not taking that out. She couldn’t regret it. She had always promised herself she wouldn’t regret. And anyway…her life was everything it should be.
Then, why was she such a ball of stress?
Ramsey met her eyes and lifted his eyebrows as if to ask, Are you okay?
She nodded slightly. She hoped he took that to mean that she was okay rather than she just didn’t want to talk about it. There was a time and a place for that conversation. The more she obsessed, the more she realized that it was pretty inevitable. They needed to get back on track, and they couldn’t do that with her acting like such a hot mess. He would calm her down once they were back in Atlanta. Things would be all right.
Right now, she needed to worry about Chyna’s wedding…and nothing else.
And as she had that thought, a traditional Canon in D filled the speakers, and everyone rose to their feet. After a second, Chyna materialized in the doorway. Everyone caught their breaths at the sheer awe-inspiring beauty before them. Surely, everyone looked good on their wedding days, but not everyone was a supermodel. So, Chyna took the cake.
Her dress was the best of both worlds with a mix of vintage and modern designs. It was a full lace gown with cap sleeves that dangled elegantly all the way down to a V-cut in the back. The bodice had a wave cut that ended in a small V to reveal just a hint of cle**age but nothing over the top. Intricate design work was beaded under the chest until the waist where the lace swept down elegantly into a train behind her. The backside of the gown had a small bow at the base of the V-cut, and then two-dozen little buttons held the dress together.