Alexandru’s handsome face had turned rigid. “You know I’ve been in a meeting. Read my mind if you will. I’m not lying—-”
“Why is she here?” I was shouting now. Outside, Katarina had fallen silent but we both knew that she was still standing there, hearing everything that was going on. The whole school may be outside for all I knew, but I couldn’t seem to make myself care.
I just wanted to be mad.
I wanted him to be mad.
So damn mad that he would punish me the way I deserved.
It was better than having him find out the shameful truth.
“What’s gotten into you?” Alexandru demanded. “You are not being your usual self—-”
“And that’s what? Someone who just stands aside every time she calls for you?”
“You know it’s not like that.” Alexandru gripped my shoulders almost as if he was prepared to shake some sense into me. “All this time, you know I’ve been avoiding—-”
“Really?” I let out a hollow laugh. “You’ve been avoiding her? Oh, that’s rich,” I spat. “You may be trying to avoid her, but we both know you weren’t really trying too hard—-”
“Stop this.” A muscle started ticking in his jaw.
“No!” I shook my head wildly. “I want to hear you say it—-”
The door opened behind us, and Katarina appeared in the doorway, a troubled look on her oh-so-lovely face.
Emotions warred inside of me.
Jealousy, bitterness, even hatred, but most of all there was guilt, and it made me want to scratch her eyes out, just so she wouldn’t accidentally see the truth in mine.
The thought left me paralyzed with shock.
Oh God, when had I become this evil?
“I’m sorry for intruding.” Katarina closed the door behind her. “But I thought you two should calm down—-”
She thought we should calm down? Who cared about what she thought? She wasn’t part of this—-
I shut that line of thought down, but the effort left me shaking.
Why was I so vindictive? Evil? Bitchy? Why?
“I’m going.” I wrenched myself out of Alexandru’s hold. I had to leave before either of them realized how low I’d sunk.
I only managed a few steps before he spun me back around. “Where are you going?”
“Somewhere, anywhere I won’t have to see you.”
He froze. “What the fuck’s wrong with you?”
“Why do you even have to ask?” I was screaming again. I was losing it, and the more he kept me with him, the more I’d lose it until I was nothing but an empty shell, a being made soulless by my guilt.
“Zari—-”
“Let go of me! You want to be with her, don’t you? So be with her—-”
“I never said—-”
“But you’re always with her—-”
“Because you keep pushing me away!” This time, Alexandru had shouted, too.
The vampire hunter who was legendary for never losing his control, for always being so beautifully mannered, for never letting his temper get the best of him—-
I whitened at the realization that I was the only one who had made him this way. Mortification flooded me as the knowledge that everyone who had heard us would have known the same thing, too.
Alexandru was pale, too. “Zari, I—-”
I spun away.
There was nothing he could say that would change the truth.
This time, he didn’t stop me.
MOPING was something I had become really good at in the past months. I had the art of isolating one’s self down pat, with people generally steering clear once they had taken a good look at my face.
I had also developed a sixth sense for the best places to drown in self-pity, and at the resort I found it in the remotest part of the beach, a tiny strip of sand hidden behind the woods.
It was restful here, if not a little creepy. I would have been terrified if I hadn’t felt my Master’s presence in my mind, the blood bond between us giving me a sense of safety. It sucked, but it was the truth. I probably wouldn’t even have thought of venturing here if I wasn’t so sure Alexandru could be by my side in a second if I needed him to be.
Lying on the sand, I turned to my side and gazed at the woods. Autumn had just started, but the trees were all dead, branches thinning into leaf-less sticks. When I had passed it, there weren’t any birds either, as if the winged creatures knew only death awaited them here.
Time moved ever so slowly, and when I checked my phone, I was stunned that only five minutes had passed.
I slept.
When I woke up, Katarina was seated beside me, knees drawn up. She had her back to me, but I could see her shoulders were shaking.
“Katarina?” My voice was a low strained whisper. What would I do if she really were crying?
Wordlessly, she turned to me—-
Katarina’s entire face was gone, leaving behind a gaping skull blackened by fire. Your fault, this is all your fault, YOUR FAULT—-