Lori texted me to tell me Brinley didn’t come to the funeral home with her parents and would arrive at the start of the visitation, so I wait outside until her car pulls in.
I rush to the driver’s-side door to help her out. Only as I reach for the handle do I realize Brinley’s not driving. Roman is.
I stumble back as he swings the door open and climbs out of the car. He looks me over, a sneer curling his lip. “What are you doing here, Death Rowe?”
“Don’t start with me today, Humphries,” I growl.
The passenger door opens, and Brinley climbs out of the car. I scramble around to help her. She’s in a long-sleeve black dress and simple black heels. Her makeup is heavier than usual but still doesn’t hide her puffy eyes.
I offer her my hand, and she shakes her head. I wish she’d just kicked me in the nuts.
I want to ask what I did, to know why she won’t look me in the eye. I want to ask why the fuck she had Roman bring her, but I shove the question deep down. My jealous insecurity is the last thing she needs to deal with right now.
“What can I do?” I ask in a whisper.
For the first time in five days, she meets my eyes. “You can stay away.”
I swallow. She’s right. If I go in there, her father will make a scene, and the entire day will become about how much he hates me when it’s supposed to be about Brittany and her life. Brin’s right, but it still burns.
A crowd is gathering in the parking lot as kids from school arrive.
I take a deep breath and try to ignore this panicky feeling in my gut. This feeling I’ve had since her father found us and told us the news. Brittany’s the one who ended her life, but Brinley’s the one who’s being punished for it. “Okay. I’ll call you tonight.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t. Please.” Then she turns away and walks toward the funeral home.
“Burn!” Roman laughs. “Dude. Get a clue. She had her fun and now she’s done.”
I lunge forward, and Smithy appears out of nowhere and grabs my arm. “Don’t do something you’ll regret,” he whispers.
I yank from his grasp and go for Roman again, but someone else already has me wrapped up, arms crossed over my chest to hold me back.
“He’s not worth it,” Kace says.
Roman smirks at me, but my eyes are on Brinley as she steps inside the funeral home to say goodbye to her sister.
* * *
The night of the funeral, I go to the south dock at the lake. I know Brinley, and after a day like today, she’ll want to be out in our spot to find some peace.
I wait for hours. She finally shows up just after dark.
“We need to talk,” she says when she spots me.
“Brinley.” I swallow hard and step toward her.
She shakes her head and shuffles back. It’s dark out, but even in the little light from the distant streetlamps, I can see she’s been crying. The sight tears me apart inside and makes me reach for her. “Don’t touch me.”
I flinch. “I would never—”
“It doesn’t matter, though, does it?” she asks, her voice small. “If you did it or someone else. It doesn’t matter if I love you. Our relationship hurts my parents.”
“Who cares what hurts your father? He—”
“Don’t. Please don’t. They’re my parents. They’re not perfect, but are you going to stand there and tell me yours are?”
The blood drains from my face. I can handle a lot of angry words, but I never expected such a low blow from Brinley.
“My sister is dead because I wasn’t around to save her. She’s dead because I was with you, and there’s nothing I can do to bring her back. My parents lost a child, and I won’t be responsible for causing them more pain.” She presses her palm to her chest. “Because it hurts me to see them hurting like this.”
She’s cutting me in two. Right down the middle. I can’t breathe.
“Okay.” I lift my hands. “Okay. Tell me what you want to do. Tell me how to fix this.”
She hangs her head. “You should leave.”
I nod. “I can do that. I’ll go. Just call me when you’re ready to talk and—”
“No. Leave Orchid Valley. Go to college and don’t come back.”
I feel like she just punched me in the chest. “What?”
“For me,” she whispers. “I won’t be strong enough if you’re still here. Do it for me.”
“Don’t you get it? This isn’t what love looks like. You’re here, Brinley. You didn’t die. You didn’t even do anything bad. You just fell in love with a guy they don’t like.”
“I fell in love with the last guy they’d want to see me with. I fell in love with the guy I can never have anything real with.”