She hangs her head. “I’ve been texting you. I came up to the hospital.”
“I didn’t want to see you then, and I don’t want to see you now,” I snap in a clipped tone. I roll my shoulders, trying to loosen the tension. Nothing fucking works!
Tears spring to her blue eyes. “I lost someone too, Cole. Eli was my friend too …”
Friend? We didn’t even know he was sleeping with her. “No, you were just another girl he was fucking.”
She jumps to her feet. “You don’t know …”
I wrap my hand around her throat and push her back against the wall of the pool house. I’m in her face, growling, “You have no fucking clue what I lost! What I did for you!” I did what needed to be done, but it cost me so much. I couldn’t care less what people fucking call me! A murderer. They’re not wrong. I killed three people.
She takes in a shaky breath since I’m not cutting off her air. Yet. She needs to take my hint and leave me the fuck alone!
“I’m so sorry.” Tears spill over her eyes and run down her cheeks.
Usually, tears would turn me on, but hers disgust me. I should have never let Eli leave with her. I should have been driving. Maybe if I had, Eli would have been in the passenger seat. And maybe he would have survived? Maybe not taking her would have saved all of them.
I should have left her there on the side of the street at that party—where she belonged.
“You shouldn’t have taken the fall.” She sniffs.
Too late. “You shouldn’t have been there at all!”
Her watery eyes narrow on me. “I was responsible—”
“You wanna owe me, Becky? Huh? Is that why you came here? To tell me that you’re fucking sorry that my friends are dead?” I interrupt her. I don’t care to hear what kind of relationship she had with Eli. It doesn’t fucking matter anymore. Nothing does!
They’re all fucking dead!
She swallows nervously against my hand that holds her hostage. Owing me is like owing the devil. And when I come to collect, nothing less than your soul will suffice.
“I owe you, Cole,” she whispers after a long second.
“When I need you for something, you will do what I say?” I ask, arching a brow.
Think long and hard before you agree to that, Becky!
She gives me a slow nod, and whispers, “Whatever you need.”
“I don’t wanna talk to you or fucking see you until then, do you understand?”
“Yes.” Her response is soft. Her shoulders physically shake, and tears run down her face.
“Good. Now leave.” I let go of her neck and take a step back from her. Then I turn and dismiss her before diving back into the pool.
“I blackmailed her to be your friend so I could keep you close,” I growl at Austin. “Does that sound like someone who is good?”
“You took the fall for her,” she says.
“For a price!” I snap.
She wraps her arms around her stomach as though she’s trying to protect herself from me. I take a step toward her. “Austin—”
“She’s right.” Deke interrupts me. He sighs. “You were in a very bad place for a long time, Cole. Months.” He looks over at Austin, and his eyes soften. “Until she came along, things were … different. I understand why you did what you did. But you should have come to me.”
The room falls silent. These people should be mad at me. I was evil. Nothing I did was good. I couldn’t save my friends. I couldn’t save myself from the hole I got buried under. Hell, I couldn’t even save Austin. She did it herself.
“What happened to the baby?” Austin asks softly.
I run a hand through my hair. “You have to understand after that, Becky and I didn’t talk. We didn’t even look at one another until that night I threw you a party to force you into the group, and I told her it was time to pay up. That was like eight months.” I can’t do the math at the moment. “And even after then, our conversations were limited.”
“What happened to the baby?” It’s Deke who asks this time.
They’re not gonna give up. “I don’t know—”
“Bullshit!” he snaps, interrupting me.
I lift my hands, hating to see him hurting over this. Over something I did. “I’m being a hundred percent truthful with you, Deke. I’ve never asked, okay? I was a bastard and never cared to ask what happened to her or the baby. And she never offered any info. Hell, for all we know, it was David’s. I never got to ask how long she … and Eli had been fucking.” He flinches. “Sorry,” I mutter.
Austin sniffs, looking down at the floor. Her watery eyes unable to meet mine.
I hate that look on her face. Too many people have made her feel that way—hurt. Betrayed. I love it when she raises her chin. When she gets in my face and challenges me.