“I’m sorry, sweetie.” I pull my best friend into a hug. “If you need anything, all you have to do is ask…no, not ask, just tell me.”
“I know, which is why you’re my best friend and I love you.”
“Love you more.”
Fourteen
Nick
As I’m leaving Olivia’s place, my mom calls me. I’ve barely said hello when she starts ripping into me.
“Nicholas, you weren’t at the party last night.” Immediately, I regret answering the phone call. Before I can respond, my mom continues, “That was a team party. There was a lot of press there. It looks bad when the face of the team doesn’t show up.” Stopping in front of my car, I close my eyes and lay my head against the side. Holy shit! I’m a thirty-year old man whose mom is still keeping tabs on him. It was so nice during the year I wasn’t playing and they left me alone. The holidays need to seriously be over so she and my dad can go back to North Carolina.
“Mom—” I’m about to tell her I need to call her back when she puts my dad on the phone. Great…
“Nick, I have three contracts for endorsements, which need to be signed. I’ve already okayed them all. I’ll bring them to you later today with all the details. I had Amber make sure the commercials and photoshoots will take place after your season is over.”
Before I can ask any questions or even say okay, he’s already put my mom back on the phone. This is what he always does, though. He handles my career. My mom rattles on about the next function and how important it is for me to be there, and just like my dad, when she’s done saying what she needs to say, she hangs up. Unlocking my door, I get in my vehicle, feeling suddenly drained. Has dealing with my parents always been this exhausting? And yet, it doesn’t even feel like I’ve participated in the conversations with them. What exactly did I say? Hello?
Needing to let off some frustration, I head over to the stadium. There’s no practice today, but the gym is always open for us. When I walk inside, I spot several of my teammates working out. Not wanting to talk to anyone, I change into my workout gear and head out to the field. My workout of choice for today is sprinting up and down the steps. Plugging my ear buds into my ears, I start jogging upward. The music is playing, but I can’t focus on the lyrics. My mind goes back to my non-conversation with my parents and then to last night with Olivia. The two of us watching the countdown—talking and laughing and getting to know each other. I’ve never felt that at ease around someone. When I talked, it felt like she was actually listening.
Since as far back as I can remember, everybody in my life has talked at me instead of with me. They’ve always wanted something from me. From my parents, to my coaches, to my girlfriends. Everybody has these expectations that are exhausting to live up to. But when I was sitting on the couch with Olivia, watching television and eating her microwaved snacks, something felt different. Real.
We fell asleep on the couch, and even without anything sexual happening, I felt closer to her than I have felt to anybody I’ve ever been with. It has me wanting to find out where things might lead to, but I know I can’t do that as long as I’m engaged to Celeste.
Fuck…Celeste. I hate that I agreed to this pact and to this engagement, and now I want out. I never should’ve agreed to it in the first place, though. It doesn’t matter how many times I get hurt, I don’t think I can give up on love. Sure, I took a break from it. I had my fair share of meaningless hookups, but I never really gave up on the idea of love. I’d just accepted that it probably wouldn’t happen for me. When Fiona told me the thought of having a family with me was the equivalent of a nightmare, I took her words to heart. And I don’t blame her…I know I put my parents and my career before her. But now that I’m recognizing that, I’m hoping I can change things. It wasn’t until I walked away from both of those things that I found some happiness. Now I have my football career back, but with it came my parents. I’m not about to let history repeat itself, which means I have some tough decisions to make. First one—being honest with Celeste.
* * *
“Oh good! You’re home!” I’m not even through the door and Celeste is on me. “I leave for Milan in an hour. I’ve been thinking about our conversation yesterday, and I know I had said that I only viewed you as a brother before, but I really think—”