“I’ll meet you guys over there in a minute. I just want to make sure the bounce house gets set up.” The vender I ordered from was running late and is finishing up now. There aren’t a lot of kids here, but Skyla thought it would be fun for Reed to play in, so I ordered one.
“All right.” He gives me a kiss on my cheek then heads over to the food tent with Skyla. Since Reed has become her shadow, he follows, and Nick follows him—leaving Killian, Jax, and me standing here.
Killian steps closer to me. “You did good,” he says. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“So, you and Jase, huh?” he asks.
“Yeah.” I nod slowly.
“That’s good. I’m happy for you guys.”
“Thank you?” I squeak out, unsure of how to respond to Killian’s overload of niceness, and a bit stunned that we’ve somehow apparently moved on to discuss my love life.
He laughs, and Jax joins in. “Ah, man, just be glad you don’t have to live with Jase.” He shakes his head. “It’s disgusting to watch on a daily basis how in love they are.”
“Oh, shut up!” I smack Jax’s arm playfully, and he chuckles.
“Who would’ve thought, little miss ‘I’m marrying a fortune 500 guy’ would fall in love with a tattooist from Piermont.” Killian laughs, hip bumping me. Had he said that a few months ago, I would’ve taken it the wrong way and gotten pissed, but I can see it in his face, he’s just playing around—and he’s not all wrong. When we were younger, that’s exactly what I planned to do.
“So, what’s next?” Killian asks. “A wedding? Babies?” He laughs harder, thinking he’s so hilarious, and of course, Jax laughs right along with him. “I can see it now… Little Celestes and Jases dressed in Gap and Nike, running around with fake tattoos all over their arms.”
“My kids wouldn’t be dressed in Gap or Nike.” I scrunch my nose up in mock disgust. “More like Dior and Dolce & Gabbana.” Killian and Jax both crack up laughing.
“I’m just messing with you,” Killian says. “You gotta admit, though. It’s crazy how far we’ve come from the teenagers we once were, hanging out in the dorm room, refusing to fall in love while Nick ragged on us.”
I laugh, remembering exactly what he means. Nick was the only one out of the three of us I ever imagined falling in love. Hell, when I was younger, I didn’t even believe in love. Or maybe I did, but was too scared to admit it. “Yeah, sometimes it feels like it was another lifetime.”
“Agreed.” He nods once. “I better go check on my baby mama,” Killian says with a smile, excusing himself. As I watch him walk away, my mind swirls with everything that was just said. I know he was only joking, but at the same time, what he said has truth to it. When two people are in a relationship, marriage and babies are what comes next, right? Does Jase want to have more kids? I just assumed since he already has a teenager, he wouldn’t want to start all over again. What if I was wrong, though, and he wants to have more children? Give Skyla a brother or sister…
“You okay?” Jax asks. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”
“Yeah…No…I’m okay,” I choke out. “I’m going to go make sure everything is taken care of for the bounce house,” I say, needing to escape for a moment before I have a panic attack.
“All right,” Jax says, looking concerned.
After I make sure the party rental company is paid and let them know when to pick up the bounce house, I take a walk along the river, trying to calm my nerves over what Killian said. Everything with Jase and me feels like it’s all happening so fast, yet slow at the same time. I think a lot of the reason for that is because of what we had all those years ago—it was so easy to slip back into where we left off. We’ve settled into the type of comfort a couple who’ve been together for a long time settle into, but we somehow skipped over the getting to know you parts—like whether Jase wants more kids one day.
“Hey,” a baritone voice calls out from behind me. When I turn around, Jase is walking up to me. “Jax mentioned you seemed off. Everything all right?”
He stops a few feet in front of me, and I stare at him for a few seconds, taking him in. His black hair, that’s usually neatly gelled, is messy, as if he was running his fingers through it, his perfect lips are turned up into a slight nervous smile, and his signature white T-shirt is stretched taut across his chest, with his hands stuffed into his pockets. I should ask him right here and now if he wants more kids, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Because if he says he does, I know I’ll have to break things off with him. And if he says he doesn’t, I will always wonder if he’s lying, putting my needs first.