‘You’re right in that, Rumjugs. Ain’t nothing should be for free. But that’s where us Letherii are different from the Malazans. We see the truth of that and it’s no problem. Malazans, they just complain.’
‘Worse is all the marriage offers I’m getting. They don’t want me to stop working, those ones, they just want to be married to me. Open-minded, I’ll grant you that. With Malazans, pretty much anything goes. It’s no wonder they conquered half the world.’
Sweetlard joined them from the other side of the deck. ‘Errant’s shrivelled cock, I can barely walk!’
‘Rest the slabs, sweetie,’ Rumjugs offered, waving a plump hand at a nearby bale close to the lantern.
‘Where’s Nose Stream?’ Sweetlard asked. ‘I’d heard he was going to talk to the Boss. About us trying some of them new missions-’
‘Munitions,’ corrected Rumjugs.
‘Right, munitions. I mean, that sword I got, what am I supposed to do with it? I was collared to clear an overgrown lot once when I was little, and I took one look at them machetes and I threw up all over the Penal Mistress. Sharp edges give me the shakes-I got too much that looks too easy to cut, if you know what I mean.’
‘We can’t do nothing with the ones Bavedict’s made up,’ said Sunrise. ‘Not until we’re off these barges. And even then, we got to work in secret. Boss doesn’t want anybody else knowing anything about them, you see?’
‘But why?’ Sweetlard demanded.
‘Cos, love,’ drawled Rumjugs, ‘there’s other sappers, right? In the Bonehunters. They see what Bavedict’s come up with and everyone will want ’em, and before you know it, all the powders and potions are used up and we got us nothing.’
‘The greedy bastards!’
‘So make sure you say nothing, right? Even when you’re working, I mean.’
‘I hear you, Rummy Cups. No worries in that regard-I can’t get a word in with all the marriage proposals.’
‘You too? Why’s they all so desperate, I wonder?’
‘Children,’ said Sunrise. ‘They want children and they want ’em quick.’
‘Why would they all want that?’ Sweetlard asked.
br />
‘You’re right in that, Rumjugs. Ain’t nothing should be for free. But that’s where us Letherii are different from the Malazans. We see the truth of that and it’s no problem. Malazans, they just complain.’
‘Worse is all the marriage offers I’m getting. They don’t want me to stop working, those ones, they just want to be married to me. Open-minded, I’ll grant you that. With Malazans, pretty much anything goes. It’s no wonder they conquered half the world.’
Sweetlard joined them from the other side of the deck. ‘Errant’s shrivelled cock, I can barely walk!’
‘Rest the slabs, sweetie,’ Rumjugs offered, waving a plump hand at a nearby bale close to the lantern.
‘Where’s Nose Stream?’ Sweetlard asked. ‘I’d heard he was going to talk to the Boss. About us trying some of them new missions-’
‘Munitions,’ corrected Rumjugs.
‘Right, munitions. I mean, that sword I got, what am I supposed to do with it? I was collared to clear an overgrown lot once when I was little, and I took one look at them machetes and I threw up all over the Penal Mistress. Sharp edges give me the shakes-I got too much that looks too easy to cut, if you know what I mean.’
‘We can’t do nothing with the ones Bavedict’s made up,’ said Sunrise. ‘Not until we’re off these barges. And even then, we got to work in secret. Boss doesn’t want anybody else knowing anything about them, you see?’
‘But why?’ Sweetlard demanded.
‘Cos, love,’ drawled Rumjugs, ‘there’s other sappers, right? In the Bonehunters. They see what Bavedict’s come up with and everyone will want ’em, and before you know it, all the powders and potions are used up and we got us nothing.’
‘The greedy bastards!’
‘So make sure you say nothing, right? Even when you’re working, I mean.’
‘I hear you, Rummy Cups. No worries in that regard-I can’t get a word in with all the marriage proposals.’
‘You too? Why’s they all so desperate, I wonder?’
‘Children,’ said Sunrise. ‘They want children and they want ’em quick.’
‘Why would they all want that?’ Sweetlard asked.
The only answer that came to Sunrise was a grim one, and he hesitated.
After a moment Rumjugs gusted out a loud sigh. ‘Errant’s balls. They’re all expectin’ to die.’
‘Not the best attitude,’ mused Sweetlard, as she pulled out a leaf stick and leaned in to the lantern slung close to her left shoulder. Once the end was smouldering, she drew it to a bright coal and then settled back. ‘Spirits below, I’m chafing.’
‘When did you last have a drink?’ Rumjugs asked her.
‘Weeks now. You?’
‘Same. Funny how things kind of clear up.’
‘Funny, aye.’
Sunrise smiled to himself at hearing Sweetlard try out that Malazan way of talking. ‘Aye.’ It’s a good word, I think. More a whole attitude than a word, really. With lots of meaning in it, too. A bit of ‘yes’ and a bit of ‘well, fuck’ and maybe some ‘we’re all in this mess together’. So, a word to sum up the Malazans. He uttered his own sigh and settled his head back. ‘Aye,’ he said.
And the others nodded. He knew they did, and he didn’t even have to look.
We’re tightening up. Just like Dead Hedge said we would. Just like that, aye.
‘Idle hands, soldier. Take hold of that chest there and follow me.’
‘I got an idea about what you can t-take hold of, Master Sergeant, and you don’t n-need my help at all.’
Pores wheeled on the man. ‘Impudence? Insubordination? Mutiny?’
‘K-keep going, sir, and we can end on r-r-r-regicide.’
‘Well now,’ Pores said, advancing to stand in front of the solid, scowling bastard. ‘I didn’t take you for a mouthy one, Corporal. What squad and who’s your sergeant?’
The man’s right cheek bulged with something foul-the Malazans were picking up disgusting local habits-and he worked it for a moment before saying, ‘Eighth Legion, Ninth c-c-c-company, Fourth su-su-squad. Sergeant F-F-F-Fiddler. Corporal Tarr, na-na-na-not at your service, Master Sergeant.’
‘Think you got spine, Corporal?’
‘Spine? I’m a f-f-f-fucking tree, and you ain’t the wind to b-b-b-blow me down. Now, as you can s-s-s-see, I’m trying to wake up here, since I’m c-c-c-coming on my watch. You want some fool to t-t-tote your ill-gotten spoils, find someone else.’