‘So your father has sent you here on a secret mission, with appropriate assurances.’
‘My mother, actually, Captain,’ Felash corrected. She smacked her lips. ‘Alas, more than assurances were required, but all that has been taken care of, and now I wish to return home.’
Shurq thought about that for a moment. ‘Princess, the sea lanes that can draw us close to your kingdom are not particularly safe. Areas are either uncharted or inaccurately charted. And then there are the pirates-’
‘How better to confound such pirates than have one of them commanding our ship?’
Shurq Elalle started. ‘Princess, I’m not-’
‘Tush! Now you’re being silly. And no, Queen Janath has not babbled any secrets. We are quite capable of gathering our own intelligence-’
‘Alarmingly capable,’ muttered Janath, ‘as it turns out.’
‘Even if I am a pirate,’ Shurq said, ‘that is no guarantee against being set upon. The corsairs from Deal-who ply those waters-acknowledge no rules of honour when it comes to rivals. In any case, I am in fact committed to transport a cargo which, unfortunately, will take me in the opposite direction-’
‘Would that cargo be one Ublala Pung?’ Janath asked.
‘Yes.’
‘And has he a destination in mind?’
‘Well, admittedly, it’s rather vague at the moment.’
‘So,’ continued the Queen thoughtfully, ‘if you posed to him an alternative route to wherever it is he’s going, would he object?’
‘Object? He wouldn’t even understand, Highness. He’d just smile and nod and try and tweak one of my-’
‘Then it is possible you can accommodate Princess Felash even with Ublala Pung aboard, yes?’
Shurq frowned at the Queen, and then at Felash. ‘Is this a royal command, Highness?’
‘Let’s just say we would be most pleased.’
‘Then let me just say that the pleasure of however many of you exist isn’t good enough, Highness. Pay me and pay well. And we agree on a contract. And I want it in writing-from either you, Queen, or you, Princess.’
‘But the whole point of this is that it must remain unofficial. Really, Shurq-’
‘Really nothing, Janath.’
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‘So your father has sent you here on a secret mission, with appropriate assurances.’
‘My mother, actually, Captain,’ Felash corrected. She smacked her lips. ‘Alas, more than assurances were required, but all that has been taken care of, and now I wish to return home.’
Shurq thought about that for a moment. ‘Princess, the sea lanes that can draw us close to your kingdom are not particularly safe. Areas are either uncharted or inaccurately charted. And then there are the pirates-’
‘How better to confound such pirates than have one of them commanding our ship?’
Shurq Elalle started. ‘Princess, I’m not-’
‘Tush! Now you’re being silly. And no, Queen Janath has not babbled any secrets. We are quite capable of gathering our own intelligence-’
‘Alarmingly capable,’ muttered Janath, ‘as it turns out.’
‘Even if I am a pirate,’ Shurq said, ‘that is no guarantee against being set upon. The corsairs from Deal-who ply those waters-acknowledge no rules of honour when it comes to rivals. In any case, I am in fact committed to transport a cargo which, unfortunately, will take me in the opposite direction-’
‘Would that cargo be one Ublala Pung?’ Janath asked.
‘Yes.’
‘And has he a destination in mind?’
‘Well, admittedly, it’s rather vague at the moment.’
‘So,’ continued the Queen thoughtfully, ‘if you posed to him an alternative route to wherever it is he’s going, would he object?’
‘Object? He wouldn’t even understand, Highness. He’d just smile and nod and try and tweak one of my-’
‘Then it is possible you can accommodate Princess Felash even with Ublala Pung aboard, yes?’
Shurq frowned at the Queen, and then at Felash. ‘Is this a royal command, Highness?’
‘Let’s just say we would be most pleased.’
‘Then let me just say that the pleasure of however many of you exist isn’t good enough, Highness. Pay me and pay well. And we agree on a contract. And I want it in writing-from either you, Queen, or you, Princess.’
‘But the whole point of this is that it must remain unofficial. Really, Shurq-’
‘Really nothing, Janath.’
Felash waved one sticky crumb-dusted hand. ‘Agreed! I will have a contract written up. There is no problem with the captain’s conditions. None at all. Well! I am delighted that everything’s now arranged to everyone’s satisfaction!’
Janath blinked.
‘Well. That’s fine, then,’ said Shurq Elalle.
‘Oh, these sweets are a terror! I must not-oh, one more perhaps-’
A short time later and the two Bolkando guests were given leave to depart. As soon as the door closed behind them, Shurq Elalle fixed a level gaze upon Janath. ‘So, O Queen, what precisely is the situation in Bolkando?’
‘Errant knows,’ Janath sighed, refilling her goblet. ‘A mess. There are so many factions in that court it makes a college faculty look like a neighbourhood sandbox. And you may not know it, but that is saying something.’
‘A sandbox?’
‘You know, in the better-off streets, the community commons-there’s always a box of sand for children to play in, where all the feral cats go to defecate.’
‘You privileged folk have strange notions of what your children should play with.’
‘Ever get hit on the head by a gritty sausage of scat? Well then, enough of that attitude, Shurq. We were as vicious as any rags-gang you ran with, let me tell you.’
‘All right, sorry. Have you warned the Malazans that Bolkando is seething and about to go up in their faces?’
‘They know. Their allies are in the midst of it right now, in fact.’
‘So what was that princess doing here in Letheras?’
Janath made a face. ‘As far as I can tell, annihilating rival spy networks-the ones Bugg left dangling out of indifference, I suppose.’
Shurq grunted. ‘Felash? She’s no killer.’
‘No, but I’d wager her handmaiden is.’
‘How old is this fourteenth daughter, anyway? Sixteen, seventeen-’
‘Fourteen, actually.’
‘Abyss below! I can’t say I’m looking forward to transporting that puffed-up pastry-mauler all the way to the Akrynnai Range.’
‘Just go light on ballast.’
Shurq’s eyes widened.
Janath scowled. ‘The pilot charts we possess indicate shallow reefs, Captain. What did you think I was referring to?’