"Shut up, Jenks."
"I haven't seen you like that in . . . hell, how long has it been?"
"Shut up!" I muttered, tightening my scarf until he called uncle, laughing at me. It had been a while, and even worse, it had been with Pierce. Everyone I had sex with died. Except Marshal, and that had only been because he left in time.
Adrenaline hit me when Ms. Bouncy-Hair finished her transaction, catching my eye as she moved to the pickup counter. She must have heard me telling Jenks to shut up, but being the crazy woman would only help, and I gave her a neutral smile and hitched my shoulder bag higher. Sweet or not, she was our fast and dirty ticket into the museum and behind security doors. I hated locking people in their own trunks. Except for Francis. That had been fun.
I was still wearing my smile as I stepped up to the counter. "Ah, two grandes, black. A skinny chai tea tall, and a vanilla grande with a shot of pumpkin in it if you still have it." I knew they did. The drinks I ordered were was the exact same ones Ms. Bouncy-Hair had ordered, right down to the size. "Oh, and can you put it all in a to-go bag? Thanks."
"Got it," the barista said, never looking up, never noticing it was a duplicate order. Junior would have, and I was glad he wasn't here.
I handed the barista a bill to cover it, turning around to see the blue Mustang in the parking lot, the top still open to the sky. "Thank you," I said around a yawn as he gave me my change. Eight? Was it really eight? Adrenaline or not, this was an insane time to be up. That was humanity's problem right there. They were brain damaged from the early sun.
"Ah, Rache?" Jenks whispered, poking me in the neck, and I jumped, giving the barista a faint smile as I moved down.
I stood just inside most people's personal zone, and sure enough, Ms. Bouncy-Hair noticed, shifting down a smidge. My pulse quickened. I couldn't help it. Maybe I was as bad as Ivy. When the woman's order slid onto the counter in one of those paper trays, I was ready.
"Thanks, Bill!" she called out cheerfully, reaching for it as I leaned in as if going for it too. The woman got there first, her hands full of hot coffee as she turned, smashing right into my upraised hand. It would have gone all over me, but I was the one planning accidents, and with a little flip, it went down her front instead.
"What the fuck!" the woman exclaimed, staggering back with her entire order spilled on the floor. Well, not all of it, and her pink V-neck sweater was now an ugly brown.
"Ooh, mouthy," Jenks said, and I heard him take to the air, wings clattering.
My shock was fake, but it looked real enough. I'd had plenty of practice. "Oh, my gosh!" I exclaimed, standing there with my eyes wide and hands up in the helpless-me position. "I am so-o-o-o sorry!"
The baristas were already moving to mop it up, and she dropped back to the tables and chairs, disgust swamping her. "Bill, can I have another set?" she said, and then muttered at me, "Why don't you watch where you're going," as if embarrassed for the F bomb she'd dropped.
She was on the defensive, and that was fine with me. It didn't make the guilt any less, but it did tend to put it off till later.
"Oh my God, I'm so, so sorry," I said, grabbing napkins like mad and shoving them at her. "Here, let me give you my address," I said, head down and fumbling in my bag as she took them, dabbing at her front until she realized it was useless. Jenks was at the ceiling, and I dumped my bag out to distract her when the napkins hadn't done it. "I've got a card in here somewhere. Send me the bill for your cleaning. Oh, that's got angora in it, doesn't it? I can tell."
"Seriously, it's okay," she said, but she was watching me now, not Jenks in her purse. Hell, everyone was watching me. Ivy and Jenks had helped me stock my bag, and the tampons, diaphragm, jumbo condoms, and fuzzy cuffs that Jenks had picked out were garnering snickers.
"I am such a klutz," I said, snatching up the pen Ivy had given me from a Hollows strip joint. I scribbled the downtown bus depot's address on a matchbook.
"No, really, it's okay," she said, hand up to keep me at arm's length. Her expression was a mix of disgust and contempt. I was a doofus, and everyone could tell.
"Please, just take it," I said, and she finally did just to shut me up. "I must have been half asleep." My order came up in its bag, and the woman realized she was going to have to go home and change. I could see it in her eyes. Behind her in the parking lot, the top was almost closed. "At least let me pay for your drinks!" I said, reaching out as if I was going to take her arm.
She backed off fast. "I already paid for them," she said, bouncy no more. Grimacing, she plucked at her sweater and looked at her watch. "Bill, I gotta go. Forget the coffee."
"Catch you tomorrow, Barbie," one called, and I almost choked. Barbie? Really? Was that legal?
But the car again had a roof. "Wait! Your coffee!" I exclaimed, taking my own bag of duplicate brew and following her.
"Look, it's okay!" the woman said, starting to get angry as she headed for the door. "I have to go home and change. Just forget it, okay? Accidents happen."
I hesitated, a forlorn expression on me as she stormed out. Accidents do happen, especially when you plan for them. The chimes jingled merrily, and my eyes fell to my feet. "Well, I tried!" I said to everyone, then darted back to the counter and shoved everything back in my purse.
Hustling after her, I stiff-armed the door open. She was almost to her car, and she jerked when she saw me. "Really, it's okay!" she said as if knowing I was going to follow. I almost smiled. My gaze slid to the nearby Dumpster, looking for a leprechaun catching a smoke beside it. Today I might risk accepting a free wish.
Jenks dropped down, and I fluffed my scarf as he snuggled in. "Hey, you think it's gotten colder?" I asked him as we click-clacked to her, more to be sure he was watching his temps than any need for conversation.
Jenks tugged the scarf tighter around himself. "Dropped two degrees since this morning. We'll be inside tonight."
Adrenaline flowed, sweet and beautiful. She was standing at her car, fumbling for her missing keys in her cluttered purse. It was so easy to take someone. Really, it was astounding it didn't happen more often. She was so frazzled she didn't even remember the top had been open when she'd gone in.
"Here, take some money!" I said, arm out to her as I came forward. "I owe you for the drinks."
"I said it was okay!" she shouted, clearly pissed. Still no keys in hand, she got in her car, thinking it was safer. The door slammed, and I stood there, tapping on the window. "Leave me the fuck alone!" she shouted, open purse on her lap. "My God, are you trying to pick me up?"
Ivy sat up from the backseat, a pale arm sliding around her neck. "No, we're trying to abduct you," she whispered. "There's a difference. You'd have more fun if we were trying to pick you up."
The woman took a breath to scream, and I tapped on her window, shaking my head.
"I wouldn't," Ivy breathed, her eyes a nice steady brown.
"Yeah!" Jenks shouted through the glass at her as he hovered at her eye level. "It will only get her excited. You won't like her if you get her excited."
"Unlock the door," Ivy demanded, and Barbie fumbled for the lock, scared.
I opened the door, smiling now so she wouldn't be so frightened, but it kind of backfired. "Slide over," I said, gesturing. "Go on. You're skinny. Get in the passenger seat."
"Money?" she said, white-faced. "You want money? I don't have any brimstone. Here, take my purse. Take it!"
"I've already been in your purse," Jenks said from the dash. "You don't have any."
"Just slide over," I said, concerned someone was going to notice me. "Now, Barbie, or I'll turn you into a frog."
Jenks's wings clattered, his dust a happy silver. "She'll do it!" he warned. "I used to be six feet tall."
Ivy rolled her eyes, but the woman awkwardly moved over the console. "You really need to stop making up stupid names for people you come in contact with," the vampire muttered, shifting with her. "It's not respectful."
Mood improved, I flipped the seat to put the bag of coffee on the floor. "That's her real name," I said as I got in, and Ivy winced.
"Sorry."
"Please don't hurt me!" Barbie said, really scared now, and I felt bad as I took the keys Ivy handed over the seat and started up the car with a satisfying rumble.
"Hurting you isn't in the plan," I said as I carefully backed up and put it in drive. "So please don't do anything to change it. All we want is your car for a few hours, and then we will drop you off in downtown Cincinnati with a story that will get you a ghostwritten novel and a movie of the week. Okay?"
Barbie licked her lips. "You're Rachel Morgan, aren't you," she said, eyes wide.
I met Ivy's eyes in the rearview mirror, not sure if I should be flattered or not. Ivy shrugged, and when Jenks snickered, I turned to the woman, smiling my warmest.
"Yep, and you're going to help us save the world. What's your parking spot, Barbie?"