Avoiding him, I sought out Mark, on the floor arranging shiny bags of coffee. "Hey, can you make another one of these?" I asked him when our eyes met. "And put a shot of raspberry in it?"
Saying nothing, Mark frowned and stiffly went behind the counter. I looked at Wayde across from me, startled by the expression of sympathy in his eyes. "I, ah, had to get out of there," I said, and Wayde leaned back, waiting.
"To prove you could after I got the best of you last night," he said, and I shook my head.
"Yes. No. I left because everyone is moving forward in their lives. Without me."
Wayde rolled his eyes. "You left because your roommate is sharing blood and having sex with someone besides you?" he mocked. "She's a vampire! You don't want that. What's really bothering you?"
"Just forget I said anything," I said, feeling hurt as Mark approached with a grande. Both Wayde and I were silent as he set the cup down and I handed the guy a five. "Thanks, Mark. Keep the change," I said, miserable as I took a sip of my wonderful raspberry coffee, feeling it go all the way down. It sat in my stomach like lead.
Wayde waited with the patience of a wolf, his arms across his chest and a tightness to his lips. I fiddled with my coffee cup, finally saying, "Ivy came home smelling like a friend. She came home happy," I said louder when he started making noises of disbelief again. "And I'm glad for that. She deserves it. And Jenks."
I looked at the table and pushed my cup around some more. "Jenks is never going to find another person like Matalina to share his life with, but seeing him and Belle together . . . They fit, you know?" I said, not caring if he didn't get it. "I used to be in there with them. I'm seeing me starting to slide out. It needs to happen, but I don't like it."
Unfortunately, that was the truth. They were growing, and I wasn't. Or rather, I wasn't growing in the direction I wanted.
"People change," Wayde offered hesitantly, but it was obvious that he didn't get it.
"Tell me about it." I took another sip of coffee, feeling sorry for myself even as I enjoyed the rich, sweet caffeine. "I used to be the one changing and they were the ones trying to keep up. Now I'm sitting still and they're the ones moving on. Without me."
"Waah, waah, waah." Wayde reached for a scone, the bag crackling.
The Turn take it, I'd opened up to him, and he thought I was being self-centered. "Forget I said anything, okay?" I said, wishing I had kept my mouth shut and let him believe I'd left because I was mad about last night. "I'm not going to shrink down and be a pixy, and I'm not going to sign my will over to a vampire, even if I do love her. It would destroy both of us."
Wayde's chewing stopped.
"This is good," I insisted, my eyes on the torn bag as I folded it up around Jenks's scone. "All of it. Jenks and Ivy. It's good. They will live longer, happier lives without me, and I'm glad." I just wish it didn't hurt so much.
"I understand." Wayde put his hand on mine, stopping me from crushing Jenks's scone. "I grew up surrounded by big egos, Rachel, and I get it."
I pulled away from him, shoving Jenks's scone into my bag. "I do not have a big ego."
"Yes you do," he said, wiping the crumbs from his beard and chuckling. "It's probably how you survived living with Ivy. Get over it. You've got a big heart to match, and your dad is just as bad. But as you say, they're getting on with their lives and you aren't. Why do you suppose that is?"
Staring at him, I flopped back against the seat. "If I knew that, I wouldn't be sitting here with you in your pj's, drinking coffee."
And still he smiled, looking far too disorganized to be giving me advice. "Jenks and Ivy know their lives are going to be here. Right now and today," he said, tapping the tip of his finger on the table. "They're making decisions to move forward. Ivy is letting go of her past - that means you - and finding partners who fulfill her emotional, intellectual, and physical needs. Jenks is doing the same. You aren't, because you know in your gut that you won't find what you need here."
The sweet coffee in me seemed to go sour, and I stiffened. "Beg pardon?"
He shrugged and leaned back out of easy reach, looking grungy and disheveled. "For a smart woman, you are clueless sometimes. You're a demon."
Frowning, I glanced over the coffeehouse to make sure no one had heard him. "You want to say that a little louder, maybe?"
His teeth showing in a quick grin, he took a sip of coffee, clearly thinking he had the upper hand again. "I don't blame you for fighting it at first, but you're a demon and you need to accept that. All this about Kalamack giving you a choice that really isn't one aside. It's all you got, woman. Be the demon. The more you try to make the demon a witch, the more you hurt yourself. Why not try it the other way around? See what happens. If it doesn't work, they'll still be here. Waiting for you."
His attention was on my charmed silver bracelet, and I covered it up. It sounded so simple. Maybe he was right.
Wayde let a hand hit the table, making me jump. "Never mind," he said in a tired voice. "Don't listen to me. I'm just pissed you snuck out. You belong here with Ivy and Jenks. Maybe all you need is some new friends. Some who you can just . . . hang with for a while with no strings attached."
My lips quirked. No strings attached wasn't how I worked. "But not you, obviously," I said, and Wayde took another sip of coffee.
"Obviously. Rachel, you are one crazy bitch. But I like you. Your loyalty impresses me. It makes putting up with the rest of your crap worth it."
"Gee, thanks, Wayde." I lifted my cup to him in a salute. "From you, I'll take that as a compliment." Again the coffee slipped into me, and the tightness in my shoulders finally started to ease. "So, ah, how did you find me?"
Wayde snorted. "I have the bus schedules and routes memorized, and you left your coffee on the counter. There was only one place you'd be," he said, and I sighed. When I read a person wrong, I really get it wrong. "Your phone is ringing."
Yes, it was ringing, humming at the bottom of my bag. It had been for the last couple of minutes. It was probably Jenks, ticked that I'd gone out without him. For crying out loud, Ivy knew where I was.
"Yup," I said, my expression bland as I tugged my bag closer and reached in to get the phone, the multiple flashes of green from the amulets catching my attention as my aura touched them. I glanced at the incoming number, then froze. It was the church, but what gave me pause were the amulets.
They were active - and pinging on something.
"Oh my God!" I said as I dropped the humming phone into my lap and snatched up an amulet, not believing it when the green held steady. "It's my scatter-detection amulet," I said, pulse racing as I pulled it out, thrilled. "Holy crap, it's working! Wayde, it's working! Here, hold it!"
"What, me?" he exclaimed as I shoved the amulet at him, almost knocking over his coffee. "I don't know how to work this thing."
"Just hold it," I said as I fumbled for the phone and flipped it open. "If you have an aura, it works. Damn! I can't believe it's working! Somewhere within a mile or two is something linked to that poor man they strung up in Washington Park."
From behind the counter, Mark slammed something shut, clearly having heard me.
Wayde was looking at the amulet as if it were a chunk of rotting flesh, gingerly cradling it in two hands as I flipped the phone open. "You said you weren't going to go out to any sites unless they were secure."
"The I.S. and the FIB will be there," I said, excited. "Besides, HAPA is long gone. We're going to find an empty room unless we're really lucky." The receiver clicked open. "Ivy?"
"No, it's me," Jenks said, his tone sounding tinny over the phone lines. "What the hell do you think you're doing going out without Wayde? He's more ticked than a shaved cat."
"I know," I said, looking at the uncomfortable Were sitting across from me. "He's with me. We're cool. Ivy knew where I was, so what's the big deal?"
"You ditched me!" he accused, and I winced.
"You didn't have your winter clothes on, and I had to catch the bus!" I said, then lowered my voice. "Wake up Ivy, will you? And get your working blacks on. The scatter-detection charms went active. I'm at Junior's with Wayde."
"Tink's little red panties, Rache! You ditching us?"
No more than everyone seems to be ditching me, I thought, then shoved my mini pity party away. "Did I not just say put your working clothes on? Get Ivy and get out here. I'm calling Glenn next, and then Nina." I glanced at Wayde. "Could you bring out a pair of jeans and a shirt for Wayde while you're at it?"
Jenks's snort told me we were okay. "Yeah, I got it," he said, his kids shrieking in the background. "I'll ask Belle to watch my kids."
"I'll wait for you here as long as I can, but if the FIB or the I.S. gets here first, I'll be with them," I said, wondering if I should try Glenn at home. He might be off shift, but he'd come in for this, long night or not.
"Gotcha, Rache!" he said cheerfully, and hung up.
I cleared the phone and started scrolling for Glenn's home number. I'd try there first. I looked up when Wayde chuckled. "What?" I said, blinking at him.
"You're funny," he said, draping the amulet over my neck and tweaking my nose. "I'm going to see if they have a disposable shaver in the bathroom. Think about what I said, okay?"
He stood, and I stared at him.
"About having casual friends?" he added, looking back at me. "They don't make the pain any less when you move on, but they help cover it up." He hesitated, but I didn't know what to say.
"Don't run off, okay?" he finally added, looking good as he made his confident, casual, and scruffy way to the men's room, exchanging a masculine greeting with the barista as he went. And what did he mean by think "about having casual friends"? That hadn't been an invitation . . .
Had it?