Mary looked concerned and took the seat opposite Miranda. “What’s going on?” she asked.
Miranda sighed, not sure she wanted to share, or which part she should share and which part she should keep to herself. She knew for certain she couldn’t talk about Jeremiah, so she decided to talk about Talen. “It seems Talen is feeling out of sorts. He’s been making comments about not having a father. It’s kind of thrown me for a loop.”
“Oh, honey, I’m surprised it hasn’t come up before now,” Mary said. “Kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit. And Talen is a very smart boy. Hannah has quite the crush on him from what I hear.” The women shared a smile and a chuckle, and then Mary said, “Miranda, I would never overstep my bounds and tell you how to live your life, but sooner or later Talen was going to realize that you play by your own rules. There’s nothing wrong with that but it does make for a harder road to travel especially when everybody wants the people around them to be the same.”
“People gossip about my family because of Simone, but they love to gossip about me because I’m still around to remind them what happened. I’m tired of people putting their noses in my business. I can handle it, the censure, but I never wanted it to come back on Talen. Maybe I made a mistake in staying in Homer. I should’ve moved away like Wade.”
“Who’s being naive now? How could you possibly think that your actions wouldn’t affect Talen? Not to be rude, Miranda, but I would imagine by now you’ve run out of men to sleep with for your little no-commitment, one-night-stand marathons.”
Miranda stared, her mouth dropping open a little.
Mary shrugged and said, “Everybody knows. But the ones who love you, love you for your flaws and your strengths. Besides I can’t imagine what it’s like to live your life, having people talk about you and your personal tragedy over the dinner table as if it were their right to do so. You’re a strong person because you’ve had to be, but also because you were made to be. But I think it’s time to figure out what you really want, Miranda. Time for you to stop hiding behind that reckless, rash persona that you throw up when things get tough or emotionally complicated. It’s just time to grow up.”
Miranda swallowed, unable to believe what Mary was telling her, but there was no denying the logic and reason in her advice. It was true—it was time to grow up. The only problem? She had no experience in being mature and she was scared of herself.
“I don’t think I know how to be different, even if I wanted to be.”
Mary smiled. “No one knows how to be different, you goose. You have to take a leap of faith to be different. Make that choice and just go for it. Before I met Jim, I was an emotional, insecure wreck. I didn’t think I could go into another relationship after my first marriage had failed so miserably. How could I have not known that Peter was cheating on me with nearly everyone in town aside from you? I felt stupid and ugly and worthless and I was certain everyone was talking about me behind my back. But I knew I had to get myself together for Hannah’s sake. I didn’t want Hannah to see me as this weak, sniveling woman who didn’t know how to be without a man. And even though it was hard, and I was scared, I pulled myself up by my bootstraps and put one foot in front of the other until I found that I could walk on my own. And then at the best possible moment, I met Jim.” She paused for a brief moment, as if unable to stop the warm smile that always followed when Mary talked about her new husband.
Miranda had to admit, it must be nice to feel that way about someone.
Mary continued with bright eyes. “And he is the man I’ve been waiting for. But I wouldn’t have met him if I hadn’t gone through what I did with Peter. There is someone out there for you, Miranda. I know it. I feel it in my bones. But you’ll never get to meet him if you don’t take that leap of faith. Open yourself up to the possibility of meeting someone, instead of being so ready to toss him on his ear the minute you’re through with him. You might be surprised what you find.”
Miranda stared in wonder at her friend, unable to believe the poignancy of Mary’s advice. “When did you get so smart?” she asked, half joking, but only to hide the fact that Mary had poked at a very raw nerve. “I don’t know what to say. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
Mary smiled, relieved. “I’ve wanted to talk to you about this for a while, but you know, that’s just not something you can jump into without some kind of invitation because it could be offensive if taken the wrong way and I would never jeopardize our friendship even though our relationship is mostly a work friendship.”