Closing his eyes, Eli parked his fists on his hips and let his chin fall to his chest.
What the hell am I doing here?
“Settling an old debt,” he answered quietly. He was here to make sure his brothers were okay. Yet according to Reagan, he was already too late for that.
Trying to wipe the unforgettable taste of her off his lips, he crossed the still-vacant street and crammed himself into the compact car before making a left and heading up Highway 54.
He was going to get this done and get gone. That would spare everyone involved any further awkwardness. Then he’d return to Austin, to the career he excelled at and the life he’d carved out for himself.
And Reagan was right. He wouldn’t look back.
* * *
REAGAN MATTHEWS MUSCLED her heavy-duty truck around the corner and shot down the highway as hard and fast as the GMC would go. She had to put distance between herself and that...that...man.
But it wasn’t just the man—it was the memories. She’d tried to put up a good front with Eli, to come across as both indifferent and controlled. Even she knew she’d botched it up and let emotion get the best of her. The apathy she’d dug for had been, at best, a shaky mirage. A strong gust of wind would have swept the bulk of it away, a million seeds of discontent that simply wanted answers.
But then he’d kissed her.
If her apathy hadn’t stood a chance against a simple breeze, it couldn’t hold out hope for survival when faced with the force of nature that was Elijah Covington.
He’d been the sole shareholder of her heart, the one thing she was sure she couldn’t live without. All those days spent at the river, just the two of them listening to music, talking, watching the sunset against the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. Then there were the nights. Hours spent stargazing and more hours spent discovering each other, learning the touches that elicited the most pleasure, the sensitive spots to kiss softly, the right time to love gently and the time to let it all go and be as wild and free as the world around them.
Then he’d left.
So many years she’d held out hope he’d come back. She’d been the talk of the town for so long, first with shared hope, then pity and then the fool who simply couldn’t let go of a man long gone. She’d never stopped loving him. She’d just stopped looking for him.
Reagan traced her numb lips with trembling fingers. Her chest had constricted to the point she couldn’t draw even half a breath. But her heart... She rubbed her sternum. Her heart hadn’t hurt this bad in years, and wasn’t that a testament to the way she’d lived her life.
She allowed reality to sink in, accepting that Eli’d had his arms around her again, and it had felt as familiar as it did foreign. A broken sob ripped out of her chest. She’d spent the past fourteen years trying not to drown in heartache and regrets. Then he showed up and, with a single kiss, pulled her under those dark emotional waters again. He acted as if it had meant as little to him as if he were ordering a cup of coffee to go.
When she’d broken away, she’d begun to sink.
Taking the first dirt road she came to, she slid to a stop, dust billowing around her. She rested her head on the steering wheel and rolled her forehead back and forth, trying to force her roiling thoughts to fall into place.
She’d have to repair the Blue Swallow’s landscaping. But the damage really hadn’t been her fault. Most people reacted poorly when a ghost ran them off the road.
Elijah Covington.
“Not a ghost,” she said, voice hoarse. “Just a memory. A...mistake.”
But that wasn’t true, either. Loving him had never been a mistake. Holding on to the faith he’d figure out he belonged here, too? That she was the one for him? Those were her major screwups, the two things that had given him the power to thoroughly and effectively decimate her heart.
Swiping her cowboy hat off, she cursed as she rewound her hair and tucked it under the hat. “It’s been fourteen years now, Matthews. You’ve moved on. You have a career and a life story, neither of which include him.”
She didn’t have much of a life at the moment, though. What she had were long, backbreaking days and endless, lonely nights.
In the passenger seat, her dog, Brisket, whined.