I pinned everything on her soft gray-silk voice pulling me back from the brink. The surety and hot anger in her cut through my confusion. I wasn't alone. Ivy was going to help me. She said I wasn't bound. I had to believe that. Gratitude flowed, and every muscle seemed to relax. Ivy felt it and stopped rocking me.
Suddenly I realized I was standing in my kitchen with Ivy's arms around me. Her pull on my unclaimed scars was gone, and here I was, feeling her warmth, her strength, her determination to protect me. I looked up to find her brown eyes swimming, inches from mine. There was a shared pain in them, as if only now was I able to even begin to understand her.
I licked my lips, trying to figure out what I was feeling. "Thank you," I said, and her pupils widened in a flash. A shocking spark dove to my middle.
There was the clatter of pixy wings, and we both looked to the hallway as Jenks flew in.
"I'm sorry," he gasped, struggling with a full vial. "Am I too late?"
My gaze rose to the open charm cupboard, and then to the vial in Jenks's unsteady grip. From the front of the church came the sound of Keasley's voice raised in worry. "Rachel? Are you okay?"
I reached out to stop him. "Jenks, no!" I cried, guessing Keasley had primed the spell, but Ivy had looked up, and Jenks did a smart backflip.
Ivy got the potion full in the face. Her eyes went unfocused, and as smooth and sweet as fresh laundry snapping on a line, she dropped.
Scrambling, I caught her shoulders and eased her down. Jenks had swiped one of the pacification potions we were experimenting with. But she wasn't supposed to go unconscious. It was far too strong.
Jenks got between us, wings a blur as he hovered by her slack-featured face. Her new bite looked livid, and I thought of mine, feeling what might be shame for the first time. God, I couldn't do this anymore. I had risked everything. There had to be a better way.
"She's out. She's breathing," Jenks said, and I took a relieved breath. Modifying charms was chancy at best, and I could have stopped Ivy's heart.
"It's too strong," I said, glad none of it had hit me. "She's not supposed to go unconscious." Remembering Keasley, I stood to find him standing in the doorway, awkward and unsure in his thin brown pajamas. "You okay?" I asked him.
"I'm not the one with the vamp bite," he said, eyes on my neck, and I refused to cover it. "Jenks said your roommate lost it."
The memory of the last ten minutes smacked me, and I started to waver. I thought I had been bound to Kisten's killer. I had...I could have been bound to Kisten's killer. "I don't feel so good," I said, my blood dropping to my knees. Dizzy, I took a breath, my muscles going slack and my body starting to slip. I stared at the floor, numb.
"Ho there!" Keasley exclaimed, and then his thin arms were suddenly around me and he was struggling to get me to the floor without bending his knees.
"I'm okay," I mumbled, clearly not as my legs went akimbo. "I'm okay." Blinking, I sat against the sink cabinets beside Ivy and dropped my head between my knees to keep from passing out. "Jenks," I breathed, and he was on the floor between my feet, looking up.
"She bit you!" he said, silver sparkles mixing with the spots of oblivion making a bid for my consciousness. "I told you she wasn't ready. Why doesn't anyone listen to me!"
"Yeah, she bit me," I said as things started to fall into place. "I freaking wanted her to, and it's none of your damn business - you little winged liar." His wings clattered in anger, but his words died in his throat when he saw my expression. He flew up, suddenly unsure, and I lifted my head, following him.
"Kisten's murderer bit me, too," I said, and he paled, flying up to the counter and out of my reach. "I remembered it," I said, finding the strength to sit up at his show of guilt. "The vampire tried to bind me, and I think you knew it. Start talking, pixy." I can't do this anymore. I'm playing with fire, and I have to stop.
In a burst of sparkles, Jenks darted away. Keasley's sneakers on his bare feet moved uneasily, and I stood up, angry and almost out of my mind with frustration. Seeing Ivy on the floor, I gritted my teeth and refused to cry. I was so messed up. My hand gripped my right shoulder until it hurt, the memory of Kisten's death heavy on me. This isn't fair. This is bloody-hell not fair!
"You were there, Jenks," I said as I wiped my face to get the hair out of my eyes. "You said you were with me all night. Who bit me? Who gave me the forget potion!" I looked at Keasley, betrayal an angry lump in my gut. "Was it you?" I barked, and the old man shook his head, so sadly that I believed him.
"Rache," Jenks stammered, pulling my attention to him as he backed up on the counter. "Don't. You were crazy. You were going to hurt yourself. If I hadn't, you'd be dead."
My lips parted, and I tried to breathe. Jenks had given me the potion?
I felt like I was going to pass out again. Reaching behind me, I tipped my dissolution vat of salt water over Ivy. Keasley shifted his faded sneakers as it poured over the counter and onto the floor, drenching her. I didn't take my eyes from Jenks as she came to, sputtering.
"You were there," I repeated to bring Ivy up to speed as she scrambled up behind me. "You said you were with me all night. You were there when Kisten's murderer bit me. Tell me who did it!" I screamed, my throat hurting.
My pulse was fast as I stood over Jenks. I was mad. Scared. Terrified he would tell me it had been Ivy. Maybe I was bound, and she couldn't smell it because it had been her. Was that why I had said yes to her today?
Oh, God. Please, no.
Jenks's wings were a blur, but he didn't move, his attention going from me to Ivy as we took three steps to loom over him. My socks were soaked with salt water, and I could hear Ivy's frustration and anger that my magic had dropped her. But Jenks had taken her out, not me.
"I don't know!" he yelped when Ivy smacked a hand on the stainless-steel counter and a splash of salt water hit his wing. "Kisten was dead, really dead, when I caught up with you," he said, shamefaced. "I never saw his murderer. Rachel, I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. You were crying. Acting crazy. You said Kisten had bitten his murderer, mixed their undead blood to kill them both for good."
Ivy groaned and turned away, and I touched her shoulder, not looking from Jenks.
"But it didn't work," Jenks said, gaze darting between us, "'cause Kisten hadn't been dead long enough, so only Kisten died right away. You were going to go after the bastard to make sure he was dead. Rache, you wouldn't have survived, even if the vampire was almost dead. You'd been bitten. You can't stand up to a dead vampire. You can't."
My jaw clenched, and I closed my eyes, trying to remember as Ivy shook silently beside me. Nothing. Only stark fear and a throbbing in my foot and my arm where someone had gripped me too tightly. It was a pain born almost three months ago, as sharp and real as if I had just been slapped.
"You gave me the forget potion," I whispered to Jenks. "Why?" I gestured helplessly. "Was it worth all this? I want to know who did it!"
"Talk, pixy!" Ivy barked as she spun. Her pupils were dilated, and red spotted her cheeks.
Jenks stood miserably before us, black dust sifting from him. "I had to." He backed up, his wings fanning into motion when his heel hit a napkin. Ivy snatched for him, and he darted away. "I made the spell myself. I put it together and got your blood into it. You were going to go after Kisten's killer!" he exclaimed. "You would have died! I'm only four freaking inches tall. I don't have many options! And I can't lose you now!"
Ivy slumped with her elbow on the counter and her forehead in her cupped hand. Her hair hid her face, and I wondered what she was feeling. Damn it, it wasn't fair. We had done it, managed a balance, and then my memory had to return and screw it all up.
"That vampire would have killed you," Jenks begged. "I thought if you just forgot, time would take care of everything. You're not bound, so everything's okay! It's okay, Rache!"
I prayed Jenks was right, but a shiver ran through me as I put a hand to my neck and covered my bites. God help me, I've never felt this vulnerable. I had been playing with vampires. I'd believed I had been bound. I couldn't...I couldn't do this anymore.
Ivy took a ragged breath. Her brow furrowed, and as she stood upright, I saw an inner pain deep behind her eyes, cemented to her soul. "Excuse me," she said softly, and I jerked when she darted out. She fled with that eerie vampire speed, her feet squeaking on the wet linoleum. I reached out after her, and her bathroom door shut with a loud thump.
I looked at Jenks. My life sucks.
Tired, I leaned back against the sink and tried to figure it out. I didn't feel good. I was running on a lack of sleep, lack of food, and lack of understanding. I didn't want to think anymore. I just wanted to hide or cry on someone's shoulder. My eyes pricked with the warmth of tears, and I turned away. I wasn't going to cry in front of Keasley. Ceri and I were arguing. Ivy was hiding. I didn't have any friends to turn to. Depressed, I glanced at the two men, both staring at me with an awkward concern. I had to get out of here.
"Jenks," I said breathily, looking at the salt-strewn kitchen. "I'm going to my mom's. Keasley, I'm sorry. I have to go."
Feeling airy and unreal, light-headed, I pushed past the solemn witch and followed the creeping path of the water into the hallway. I was headed for the door, and I grabbed my bag in passing. I couldn't stay here. My mom might just be nuts enough to understand and sane enough to help. Besides, she might know a charm to reverse a forget potion. And then Ivy and I were going to nail Kisten's killer to a broomstick.