"What about you?" he shouted, darting from her to me. His tiny features were pinched in worry, and I could see a row of faces at the window, watching, until Ivy closed the curtains, sealing us in a soothing blue. "Look at you!" he said, the dust spilling from him turning a pale green. "You can hardly stand up, and she hasn't even touched you yet."
Ivy was standing at the sink, arms crossed over her middle and her head bowed. I didn't want it to end like this. "I can't stand up because it feels that good!" I shouted at Jenks, and he flew backward in surprise. "I'm fine! So you can take your little pixy ass out of here! She stopped when I asked her to wait. She's over there right now, not" - I hesitated, feeling a surge of anticipation rise through me - "not ripping my throat open!"
Ivy's head came up and she gripped herself tighter. Her eyes were absolutely black, and adrenaline made a burning trail from my neck to my middle. Oh, God. This couldn't be a poor decision if we both wanted it so badly. Right? Please let this be a good decision.
"I slaked my blood lust three hours ago," she said, her soft voice in contrast with her sharp body language. "I can do this. If it gets to be too much, for either of us, I can stop."
"So we're...fine," I stated. "Get out, Jenks."
"You're not fine." Jenks got in my face to break my connection with Ivy. "She is trying to overcome an addiction. Tell her to leave. If she can leave, then maybe she does have enough control and you can try again later. Just not today. Not today, Rachel!"
I looked at Ivy standing by the sink, hunched with a need so deep it hurt to see it. I had waited with Kisten, hadn't let him bite me, and now he was dead. I couldn't wait for later if there was a now. I wouldn't.
"I don't want her to leave." I brought my gaze to Jenks. "I want you to."
Ivy closed her eyes and the tension in her face eased. "Get out, Jenks," she said, her voice low and laced with a threat that set my insides quivering. "Or stay and watch, you perverted Peeping Tom. I don't care. Just shut your damn mouth for a fucking five minutes."
He sputtered, rising up out of her way as she pushed herself into motion and came to me. My pulse was racing, and I knew that the more fear I showed, the harder it would be for her to find control. We might not be good at this right away, but we had to start somewhere, and I wasn't going to be the one to fail.
"Ivy," Jenks pleaded. "It's too soon."
"It's too late," she breathed into my ear, her fingers resting lightly on my shoulders. The pounding of my heart was loud, and I could feel my pulse lifting the skin at my throat. Jenks moaned in frustration. After darting into my charm cupboard, he zipped out of the kitchen.
Ivy's touch became liquid heat in his absence. Leaning forward, she traced a path with her fingers across my neck, searching for the unseen scar under my perfect skin. I held my breath, tension rising as she circled for it. This had to be okay. She'd worked hard to find a way around her own desires, and I'd be nothing but a damned tease to say no now.
My air came in fast as her touch turned into a firm grip on my shoulder. I felt her weight shift, and I opened my eyes, surprised at the soothing blue the curtains made. I couldn't see any of Ivy but her hair. She was that close. God, what is she waiting for?
"Let me," she murmured, her lips brushing the sensitive skin under my ear, dropping lower, lower, as her head tilted, the blue light making a glint in her hair. I tensed at the sensation, heart pounding. Her hands slid lower, finding the small of my back. Leaning away, she stilled her fingers until our gazes met. "Let me...," she said again, utterly lost in what was to come.
I knew she wouldn't say the entire thing. Let me take this. Give this to me. Asking permission was so ingrained into living vampires that if she didn't, she would think she had blood-raped me even if I cut myself and bled into her mouth. I gazed into her pupil-black eyes, seeing her desperate need raw and unhidden instead of the impassive face she usually showed the world. A last strike of fear lit through me at the chance I was taking. A memory of her biting me almost to death in Kisten's van rose and fell. I could feel the tension in her where we touched: her right hand on my shoulder, her left at my back, one hip drifting close to mine. She wouldn't overstep the bounds and would keep the sex out of it. If she didn't, I'd be gone and she knew it. It was a cruel game she played with herself, but I think she hoped that if she waited long enough, I'd come to her.
Maybe she was right. If someone had told me last year that I'd be here now, teasing a vampire into biting me, I would have said they were insane.
My eyes closed. It wasn't worth the effort to try to figure my life out. I had to live it as it came. "Take it," I whispered, locking my knees against the coming rise of feeling.
A sigh came from Ivy, and she pressed lightly into me. Her grip tightened, and with absolutely no hesitation, she tilted her head to meet my neck and sank her teeth.
Ecstasy burned, the pain of the bite shifting instantly into bliss. I took a gasping breath, then held it, stiffening for a glorious instant before catching myself. I couldn't lose myself to sensation. It would all go wrong if I did, and as Ivy's teeth sank deeper, I vowed I wouldn't. Not this time. I wouldn't let this become a bad decision.
Her breath against me came and went in time with the pulls of her mouth, drawing my blood into her to fill her. My hand drifted up to touch her new scar, and I pulled away. In a flash of tension, I brought myself back. "Ivy, slow down," I breathed, needing to know that she could stop. Fear pulsed through me when she didn't, and when I hinted at pushing against her, she pulled her lips from me with a ragged, rough breath. Thank you, God. We could do this. Damn it, we could do this!
Pulse fast, I did nothing as we stood, our heads inches from each other. I realized my hands were on her shoulders, and I weighed the sensations flashing through me to gauge Ivy's control and my resolve not to slip into a vampire-pheromone-induced stupor that her instincts wouldn't be able to resist.
Ivy's head was bowed. Her forehead almost touched my shoulder as she steadied herself. Her breath on my broken skin made feeling ebb and flow, building on each other as she tested her will not to move. I felt the warm trickle of what had to be blood turn cool, and still she did nothing though even I could smell it.
She wasn't losing control. She was maintaining it. This probably wasn't the best blood she'd had, but I was taking baby steps, and she was charting a new path. And I was ecstatic.
Ivy scented my acceptance on the very air, and slowly, carefully, until she knew it was welcome, she leaned in again, her lips meeting my neck in a soft pull, turning the cold spot warm again. Tingles shot to my middle and grew.
"Slow," I whispered, not wanting her to stop though fear made me cautious. This was working. I didn't want to tear down this new balance with impatience.
So she lingered, which in hindsight was probably more arousing than simply sinking her teeth again. Her lips moved to the tiny scar she had given me this spring, teasing, luring.
We can do this, I thought, and I let my shoulders ease, glad I was standing under my own power. I let the sensations rise and fall in me as she played, and I listened to my body, making sure she wasn't taking too much. Her vampiric need to dominate was tempered by the love she felt, but she wasn't letting it slide into the erotic. We could do this. And I wondered what might happen if I dared touch her new scar.
My eyes closed as she bent to me again. A soft sound slipped from me as her teeth pressed gently upon the scar, threatening to break the skin. And then her teeth iced in. My knees went weak, but I kept my balance. She was playing with me. Oh, God, I was in the hands of a master, and she was going to take me wherever she wanted.
She bore down, her touch light on my shoulders. Under the cascading sensations was something headier, tingling over my skin like the hum of a power line. It was our auras, blurring about the edges as she took what my soul could spare along with my blood. I remembered feeling it before. I'd almost forgotten.
"Ivy," I whispered. The feel of our auras mingling, almost overshadowing the sensation of her teeth in me. It was building to a rush. An adrenaline rush. I could feel it. There was more here than just exquisite fulfillment.
I pulled away from her, her teeth raking my skin and setting unexpected ribbons of ice scouring my bones. Her eyes flashed open, almost panicked. "I...I...," she stammered. She felt it, too, but she looked bewildered. With a swift intake of breath, she tightened her grip. I could feel the edges of our auras mingling, but there was more, dancing just out of my reach.
"Take it," I breathed, and her mouth met my skin again. I gasped, my fingers gripping harder so she wouldn't draw away. The heat of my blood in her mouth hit her, and she pulled again. I breathed heavily, struggling for air, for control. My grip strengthened, and I refused to collapse. We would not fail because of me!
My skin tingled everywhere her aura touched mine, the different charges raking over my aura like silk on sand as the energy of my soul slipped into her along with my blood, coating her being. Vampire pheromones were like liquid sensation, racing through my body to set it alight. I could feel the heat from her own skin rising as well. Something was happening with our auras. And the more I gave to Ivy, the stronger I felt it become.
This, I thought, feeling her aura slip through mine as I gave myself freely and without fear. I can give this to you.
And like water through sand, our auras blended into one.
I gasped at the feeling. Her teeth slid across my neck as she pulled away, and she would have fallen but for my hold on her. Eyes wide, I stiffened. Our auras weren't just mixing, they were one. We had one aura. In shock, I did nothing as a wash of endorphins spilled into me, into us. Every cell sang with the release. The surge of energy from our auras uniting chimed, resonating in our souls.
My fingers slipped. Ivy staggered away to fall against the table. My head came down as I felt her leave me. "My God," I groaned, and with my unique thought to divide us, our auras separated. It was gone.
I took a gasping breath and slumped against the counter. My muscles wouldn't easily hold me, and my arms trembled. "What in hell was that?" I panted. Torn between laughing at what had happened and being disgusted at how long it had taken us to find it, I brought my head up. Ivy had some 'splaining to do. I hadn't known auras could do that.
But I froze as I saw her crouching by the door in the cool, restful blue of the sunlit curtains. Her eyes were black, and they fixed on me with a predatory strength.
Shit. I was fine, but Ivy had lost it.