“Katie,” I growls softly. “I didn’t come here for that.” But he doesn’t let go of my wrist, and pulls me slightly towards him. I stumble.
“What did you come for then?”
Jordan exhales through his nose like a crazed bull, his jaw clenching, before roughly letting go of my wrist.
“Why are you angry with me?” I ask, confused.
“I’m not angry with you, Katie,” he rasps, clearly trying not to come across so strong, but it’s hard for someone with his level of testosterone. “I came here to tell you I can’t see you anymore.” My stomach turns to ice as my heart skips a beat, and I feel all the blood drain out of my face. “At least not until I fix this mess.”
“What?” I whisper, astonished. “Why? I’m sure Jimmy will come around, we just – ”
“It’s not just Jimmy. I don’t care that he’s gay, I was just surprised. I wasn’t angry about that. I was angry that he’d been lying to you while you were going out. We had a long talk. We’re fine, and he’s given us his blessing. But this is bigger than that,” he rasps.
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s that video, Katie,” he says, clenching his eyes shut in frustration. “It went viral. Soon after you left, I was called by the Chairman of the Board here at Hudson University. There’s going to be an emergency hearing tomorrow and I’m expected to attend.”
“I don’t understand,” I wheeze.
“I’m the university’s biggest donor, Katie. And you, a student here, were seen getting into my limo and …. Well, the suggestive bouncing of the limo is pretty telling.”
“Surely that’s not against any rules, is it?” I protest, feeling powerless. “It’s not like I’m underage or anything.”
Jordan’s expression darkens.
“It has nothing to do with your age. But at the very least it’s bad for the school’s image. Not just the part about a donor having an affair with a student, but also that the donor is the father of a star athlete. I’m guessing it’s more drama than the university will want to deal with,” he growls, frowning. I’m speechless, looking up at him with my mouth open, but no words come out.
“I’m sorry, Katie,” he clenches his eyes shut. “I should have had Jeffrey drive us somewhere more private. It was a ridiculous mistake to make. I wasn’t expecting the encounter to turn out that way. I came to offer you so much more. But then you got on your knees, and shit ….”
“I’m just as much to blame, Jordan,” I whisper even as my heart shatters.
“I’ll fix it, somehow. But until then -” He’s unable to finish his sentence. It’s taking him physical effort to say these words and I don’t have the will to help him out. I need to hear it all from him. So I let him struggle.
“We need to end this,” he finally manages. “It was a terrible idea to begin with.”
“You don’t mean that,” I say, swallowing with pain. He looks away for a moment, jaw clenched, before turning back and seizing my gaze.
“Yes, I do,” he says in his deep growl. “This was never meant to happen. I acted irresponsibly, and now I have to fix it. These things aren’t things I would have cared about a few weeks ago. This would have been a nuisance, and nothing more. But since I met you, Katie, everything’s different,” he says, smiling wryly, finally reaching forward to touch me and cupping my face in his hand.
“You’ve completely torn down the walls I built for myself and changed all the rules. And I want to do better. I need to fix things with Jimmy, and I need to show up at this hearing tomorrow and make things right. Thank you. You’ve made me a better person,” he whispers. And he leans down and kisses me so lovingly and tenderly, that I feel the fight going out of me. The fight that had been building up like a bonfire within. The fight that was going to protest this decision.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, pulling away. “I wanted to tell you in person. I wanted to see you one last time. I’m trying to do the right thing, but all this is new for me. You should go back to bed.” And with that, he turns and strides away from me, his figure melting into the darkness as he crosses the quiet, empty grounds. I don’t follow him, I don’t try to stop him, nor do I cry. But I’m trembling, stock still in the cold night air. I force myself to stand there as chill spreads up through my body before freezing my heart. Because all I am right now is numb shock, recent events piling up in my head and culminating in this sudden loss.
Jordan’s gone. The man whom I gifted my heart to. He’s left me, and he’s not coming back. Somehow I end up back in my narrow twin bed, but I don’t remember getting there. When I wake up the next morning, at first my mind is foggy, giving me the briefest glimpse of hope that maybe I dreamed the whole nightmare. But then it comes rushing back because I didn’t. And that’s not all. As I struggle to open my eyes, the weight of the world pressing on my chest, my phone rings.