And second, a vegan diet sounded bad. I don’t want to eat like a rabbit, I don’t want to eat truckloads of salad and beans to stay alive. I appreciate veggies, but all the time, non-stop? Not my cup of tea.
So yeah, ballet lessons were definitely out of the question given our dire financial circumstances, and slow tears began to roll down my cheeks. I was thirteen, remember, and this seemed like the end of the world.
“I’m sorry honey!” cried my mom, leaning in for a hug, cuddling me close. “I’m sorry, we’ll figure it out, I promise! I’ve already asked for more work from the shop, I’m sure they need help.”
I remained stiff in her arms, my heart sinking. Because there was no way Mary could support us with her part-time job. Even if she went full-time, which wasn’t an option, her hourly rate just wasn’t high enough to make a living. So we really were up shit creek, and ballet lessons were out of the question.
But miraculously, things took a turn. The stock market swung wildly upwards for no apparent reason, and this time, I made sure Mary got her hands on the money.
“Put it in a bank account,” I commanded, eyes serious. “Really Mom, we can’t go through another scare, it’s not cool.”
“Oh of course, of course!” she babbled, waving her hands wildly. “I already put it in our local bank.”
I frowned.
“No Ma, put it in a real bank, not that weird investment club that Mr. James has going downtown. That’s not a real bank, and he’s doing something bizarre. Put it in a national chain, one that we know won’t disappear overnight.”
“Oh of course!” said Mary, airily this time. “Don’t be such a worrywart Laney, I don’t need a thirteen year-old looking over my shoulder.”
I snorted under my breath, but there was nothing I could do. After all, I was still a minor and the money wasn’t in my name, not technically. But hopefully this time, Mary would be a little wiser.
Besides, now I was at Miss Harrison’s dance school, and the lessons were going amazingly well. Even though I’ve never done ballet in my life, the steps were like magic, the music moving my soul. I loved every part of it, rising to the challenge.
“Higher, higher!” Miss Harrison would call. “Lift your leg straight up, like a string’s pulling it from the ceiling.”
I arched backwards while raising my toe, and evidently, that was the right thing to do because Miss Harrison applauded wildly.
“Bravo, bravo Laney! Beautiful, girls, look at Laney, isn’t that the perfect arch?”
Even with my head almost touching the ground, I flushed. Because compliments have always made me embarrassed, and now was no exception. But I love ballet, I love the passion of the dance, how it takes me away from things like high school and money problems, and the compliment made me flush happily.
So when the scholarship to NYC Academy of Dance came through, it was a dream come true.
“Oh my god!” I squealed, running into the kitchen where Mary sat in front of her sewing machine, hemming a pair of men’s pants. “Oh my god, I got it, I got it!”
I’d received a two-year apprenticeship with the corps, a starting position that would pay for all room and board while giving me the opportunity to train with the most elite instructors.
Mary hugged me, pulling pins out of her mouth.
“Sweetheart, I’m so happy for you,” she said in a low voice. “I couldn’t be prouder.”
“Then Ma, why are you crying?” I asked. “It’s going to be awesome.”
She raised one withered hand to stroke my cheek, tilting that gray-haired head.
“My baby girl is growing up, that’s all,” she said softly. “Growing up faster than I expected and flying the nest. But it’s time,” she said to herself sternly. “It’s time, you’re seventeen now, and this was always going to happen. You’re talented Laney, really talented, and I’m so proud of you.”
I threw myself into her arms then, burying my face in her shoulder.
“You’ll be fine here, Mom, totally fine. And I’ll call, okay? We can always talk on the phone, and there’s the internet too. We can video call, doesn’t that sound cool?”
I didn’t think Mary was going to be able to figure out how to use the camera on her phone, but maybe, just maybe, it’d work.
“Video calls do sound wonderful,” she said softly, murmuring into my hair. “Seeing your pretty face on camera does sound amazing. And I want you to have a good time in the big city, I want you to knock the socks off all those big-city folks, you’re good enough. They’ll adore you, the same way I do.”
I’d sniffled then, sad to leave my mom. But again, the scholarship was like a gift from the heavens, and I couldn’t wait to leave. I couldn’t wait to see the bright lights of the big city, to train with the best instructors, to work with the best ballerinas and to be spun around by the most talented male dancers.