The thought hadn’t crossed my mind. I’d been taking things slow with Sofia and not thinking too far into the future. But I knew she would be my wife again, and I knew we would have another son. After everything that had happened with Maddox, it would be foolish to think something like that could never happen again.
Ash continued to drink as he stared at me. “Maybe you should talk to Sofia about it.”
I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to think about sacrificing my life’s work for a simple reason. To someone else, it was just crime and money, but to me, it was so much more. It was my life’s work…my blood.
“You want my advice?”
“No. But you’ll give it to me anyway.”
“Your job has brought you the worst agony you’ve ever known. Yes, there’s good stuff like money, power, and enemies’ bloodshed, but for the most part, it’s fucking stressful. Sofia and Andrew have only brought you joy. I think the answer is pretty obvious.”
Summer had ended, and now it was late September. Toward the end of the month was when things started to change. Leaves turned from green to red, and the humidity slowly turned into fog. Fall had arrived, bringing crisp days with sunshine.
Sofia and I had spent our time having dinners in my bedroom while spending time with Andrew. We never went out to dinner because it was too hard to bring a baby, and a lot of times Sofia didn’t want to leave him home. She quickly turned into one of those mothers who was obsessed with their son.
Not that I minded.
She continued to tell me she loved me…even when I didn’t say it back.
It happened when I left for work, when we were in bed together, and it was the last thing she said before she went to sleep. It was the first time in our relationship when there were no expectations for me. She was the one doing all the work, the one fighting for me.
It was nice.
Without any pressure or expectation, I relaxed and stopped worrying about getting hurt again. I lived in the moment, watching my son grow so quickly and Sofia’s happiness blossom. Being committed wasn’t hard because I was never really fulfilled by my promiscuous lifestyle.
I was much happier now.
We sat on the couch together and watched TV. I had Andrew lying on my chest with his face close to my neck. He was in a onesie, and he held his favorite stuffed animal as he drifted off to sleep. His fingers eventually went slack, and he dropped the doll onto the couch.
Sofia sat beside me. “Looks like he’s out.”
“He had a long day.” My hand rested on his back so he wouldn’t slip away. I got used to our evenings when we cuddled like this. Like most fathers, I looked forward to it. It was something just he and I did, and I already dreaded when he would be too old to do this anymore. One day, he would grow into a man, be independent and strong, and he wouldn’t need me anymore.
Such a depressing thought.
Sofia hooked her arm through mine and rested close to me. She’d been working out with a trainer to get her body back in shape. Now she was a lot tighter and fitter, and while she looked great, I actually liked her body before.
At least I could enjoy it again when she was pregnant a second time.
She gently rubbed her fingers up and down my arm and stared at my face instead of the TV. She usually only had eyes for Andrew, but I was the center of her focus tonight. “You’re such a good father…”
“I am?”
“Absolutely.” She smiled slightly. “You’re so good with him…and he loves you so much. I’d like to have a girl, but I like raising a son to be like his father.” She leaned down and pressed a kiss to my shoulder.
I missed being loved by her this way. When we were married, she was all over me all the time. She didn’t have to tell me how she felt because she wore it on her sleeve. The woman was infatuated with me…the way I’d always been with her. It was nice to have that back. At the end of the day, her opinion was the only one that mattered. “I’ve decided to walk away from the business.”
It took her a long time to process my announcement. Her smile slowly faded away, and the brightness in her eyes dulled into a look of confusion. We had been having a warm moment, but now everything turned serious. “What do you mean by that?”
“I’m leaving the business to Damien.”
“Why?”
“You and Andrew.” I continued to watch the reaction dance across her face as she went from being surprised to being touched. “I can’t risk anything happening to either one of you. Not again.”