He opened the door a moment later, in his sweatpants with no shirt. When he realized it was me, he turned just as cold as the other day. He didn’t want to see me. He didn’t look at me like I was beautiful. He looked at me like I was nothing but a nuisance.
It hurt so much.
He opened the door wider and walked away so I could come inside. He helped himself to a glass of scotch and took a seat. “What do you want?”
After I’d shed my tears, I was more prepared for this conversation. Last time, he caught me completely off guard. “Don’t talk to me like that.”
“Like what?” He took a drink without taking his eyes off me. “This is how I talk to everybody.”
“Well, that shit’s not gonna fly with me.”
He leaned back and rested his glass on his thigh. “Say what you want to say.”
I couldn’t believe this was the same man I’d married. “What happened? You’re a totally different person.”
“I’ve always been this way. Ask Damien. Ask Ash. I was only different with you because of our relationship. But now that that relationship is over, there’s no reason for me to be that way.” He took another drink.
“It’s like you changed overnight.”
He shrugged. “I guess I just snapped out of it…”
“Snapped out of what?”
He locked his gaze with mine. “Love.”
As if he’d had a gun aimed at my heart, he pulled the trigger and shot me. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do.” He set his glass on the table. “We’ve been divorced for a long time. That’s just how it happens.”
“But you loved me last month.”
He shrugged in response. “We can talk about it all day, but that’s not gonna change anything. We share a son together, and that’s the only thing we should be talking about. I can go visit once a month and stay at the hotel. That’s probably the most practical.”
I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation. “I only moved to Rome because of Maddox. Now that he’s gone, I should come home. I’ve lived in Florence all my life. I’m not gonna stop now.”
“Fine. Then I’ll pick him up every couple weeks, and he can stay here.”
We went from being madly in love to being a divorced couple with a kid. He was treating me like I’d cheated on him, like he hated me. “So, we just move him back and forth? We never spend any time together as a family?”
“We aren’t a family. We stopped being a family when you divorced me.”
I kept my tears back this time, but it was hard. “You know why I did it. And in the end, I fought for you.”
“Six months later…”
“Hades, I was pregnant. You expected me to take on Maddox when I was pregnant?”
It was the first time he didn’t have a rebuttal.
“I’m sorry that I hurt you. I really am. The last thing I wanted to do was leave you. But once I was able to actually do something about it, I did. You can’t be mad at me forever. And you can’t be this unreasonable.”
“Unreasonable?”
I didn’t want to provoke his rage, but I didn’t want to roll over and let him trample me. “It was a complicated situation for everyone. But my decision didn’t mean I stopped loving you. I love you more now than the day I married you.”
“You didn’t love me the day we got married. We both know that happened a long time afterward.”
“It doesn’t matter. In this moment of time, I love you.”
“Well, I don’t love you.”
I felt like I’d been slugged in the stomach again. The tears were hot behind my eyes, but I still didn’t let them fall. “I don’t believe that. Say it as many times as you want, but I still won’t believe you.”
Hades rose to his feet. “Believe whatever you want. I really don’t care.” He walked around me and headed to the door. “I’m not sure why you came here tonight, but you can leave.”
I kept my back to him so I could have a moment to compose my features. He continued to stab me everywhere, continued to make me bleed. I was dying over and over again, losing all my strength. I turned back around and walked toward him. When I was by the door, I faced him once more. “This is how I know you don’t mean it.”
He opened the door and let his hand rest on the handle.
“If you stopped loving me, you would be indifferent to me. But your anger and coldness tell me that I hurt you, tell me that you’re in pain. The only way you could feel that way is if you felt something.”
His eyes narrowed on my face.
“I know you still love me…even if you really believe you don’t.”
When I returned to Rome, I went to Ash’s place straightaway.