But then I thought of Andrew…the tiny person I had to protect.
If it were just me, it would be different. My life was okay to gamble.
But with a baby, I didn’t have that luxury.
When Andrew was asleep, I called Ash.
He picked up right away. “Sweetheart, I told you we can’t be together. Have I thought about it? I’d be lying if I said no. But it would be wrong…no matter how good the sex was.”
I wasn’t in the mood for jokes, so I ignored what he said. “Can I see you?”
“Always. But is everything okay?”
“I’m fine. I just need to talk to you.”
“I can meet you in fifteen minutes. Where?”
“My mom’s not home, so I need to stay with Andrew. Could you come here?”
“Of course. But you aren’t trying to seduce me, right?”
I hung up.
The first thing Ash wanted to do was visit with Andrew. He stood over his crib and watched his nephew sleep. He gripped the wooden rail and continued to stare. “Can we wake him up?”
“God, no. You never wake a sleeping baby.”
“Why not?”
I rolled my eyes because he would never understand. I took a seat in one of the chairs so we could have the conversation I wasn’t sure how to have. I patted the armrest beside me.
Ash took a seat and started to rock the chair even though he wasn’t holding Andrew. “What’s up, sweetheart?”
“I know this is a lot to ask, but I need you to do something for me.”
When he realized how serious this was, he stopped rocking and his face turned as hard as a concrete wall. “You know I would do anything for you.”
“Good…because I need you to kill Maddox.”
He stilled further, his chest frozen because he stopped breathing. His eyes remained unmoving as he absorbed my expression and let my final words linger in the air.
“I have to get my husband back. The only way to do that is by getting rid of that guy. Hades needs to be free, and we need to be a family. I can’t not see him for the rest of my life. I just can’t.”
He turned his gaze away and stared at the crib.
“Ash?”
He ran his fingers across the shadow on his jawline before he answered. “I can’t do that.”
My heart tanked.
“That would be a betrayal to my brother…and I can’t do that.”
“How could freeing him be a betrayal?”
“Because if I fail…” He turned his gaze back to me. “You and Andrew will suffer the consequences. I couldn’t live with that guilt. And Hades would kill himself if he lost you both. It’s way too risky.”
That was the answer I had been dreading. “You just said you would do anything for me.”
“Anything that won’t hurt you. I just saw Hades a few weeks ago… Maddox is complicated. I might think it’s the perfect time and be completely wrong. I’d be gambling with your life. I’m not confident enough to do that.” When he saw my devastated expression, he continued, “I’m sorry…”
I’d been hoping to get what I wanted. It seemed like such an easy solution, but if that were the case, Hades would’ve orchestrated it already. No one would help me in this endeavor. I had to do it on my own…or it wouldn’t happen at all. “Then I’ll do it myself.”
His eyes narrowed on my face. “You can’t be serious.”
“Dead serious. I couldn’t do anything about it before because I was pregnant. But now I’m not anymore…”
“You’re still a mother. If something happens to you, who will he have?”
“You.”
His eyes softened even though he did his best to hide it.
“I gave up on Hades because I had no other option. But now I do have an option. And I’m going to use it.”
He shook his head. “No. You have no chance against him.”
“All I need is a gun and a target. I can do the rest.”
“You don’t understand…”
“I’m going to do this no matter what you say. So, you might as well just help me. You can tattle on me to Hades, but he’s not gonna talk me out of it either. Maddox said he would hurt Andrew and me if Hades tried to kill him, but he never said anything about me trying.”
“You’re taking a big gamble on a technicality.”
“It’s not a gamble if I win.”
I was torn.
Whenever I was with Andrew, I questioned what kind of mother I was, if I was able to risk my life to save someone else. If I failed, Andrew wouldn’t have a mother. On top of that, he may not have a father either.
But when I looked into those warm brown eyes, I knew I had to do it. We needed to be a family again, to be happy. When Andrew was older and asked why his father and I weren’t together, I wouldn’t know what to say. I wouldn’t want my son to think his father was a coward who’d abandoned him.