The waitress brought me a scotch.
I took a long drink, but nothing could get this taste out of my mouth.
There were cards on the table like they’d been playing blackjack before I got there. Maddox had a glass of water in front of him. I’d never spent extensive time with him so I didn’t know him that well, but this was the third time I’d seen him in a bar setting and he hadn’t ordered a drink.
Odd.
Maddox gently nudged the brunette beside him. “My good friend is down tonight. Why don’t you cheer him up, sweetheart?”
Just as she rose to her feet, I shut down the offer. “No.”
The girl returned to her seat, a little offended.
“No pussy tonight?” Maddox took a sip of his water, holding it like a glass of vodka.
“No booze tonight?” He said I couldn’t kill him, but he never said I couldn’t insult him.
Maddox set down his glass again, his expression slightly provoked. With a gentle wave of his hand, he dismissed all the girls at the table. Now, it was just the two of us, sitting in the center of an empty strip club, girls climbing on the bars like monkeys.
I knew I’d pissed him off because the air was different. It was tense, cold. I held his gaze and refused to be intimidated.
“You can have any girl you want tonight. I paid for them all.”
“I don’t have to pay for sex.” I’d done it many times in the past, but now that I’d had the real thing, real passion, it was hard to imagine going back to anything else. I could pay a fortune for a woman to be what I wanted, but she still would never come close to what I’d had.
“They say the best things in life are free, but only poor people say that shit.” He took another drink of his water. “Not sure why you’re so hung up on that woman. There was nothing special about her. Sometimes she had a sharp mouth, but the rest of the time, she was boring.”
My teeth started to grind together. “Sometimes I wonder if you want me to kill you.”
He shrugged. “Sometimes I wonder the same thing. Life is so dull without murder, blood lust, violence… It just gets stale. Are you afraid to die?”
No one had ever asked me that before.
“I’m not.” He went on. “In fact, I’d be impressed if someone could ever pull it off. I’ve got tricks on top of tricks up my sleeve, and I get off on preparing for any eventuality. I guess I’m hoping you will try, because I’ve gotten bored lately. I wouldn’t mind torturing someone…”
What a sick fuck. There was no rhyme or reason to his madness. He was a lunatic who did terrible things once the entertainment stopped. He’d dropped thousands of euro renting out the strip club, but he clearly wasn’t interested in the girls or the booze. He was just there because he didn’t know what else to do. It was kind of sad. “You’re so lonely that the only connection you ever feel is through death.”
He stared at me for a long time. His blue eyes were so chilly that frost seemed to rise from his gaze. He was extremely still, like a mountain on a windy day. All the trees and bushes bowed in the wind, but he stayed exactly the same. He conveyed the most emotion when he conveyed no emotion at all.
I waited for him to say something, but nothing was forthcoming. I seemed to have punctured his skin, hit an invisible button. He liked to study and observe everyone around him, but he didn’t want anyone to do the same to him.
He didn’t like it one bit.
Damien sat across from me on the terrace. He used to come over all the time when we were friends. But now, he came over because it was the only place where we could have a private conversation. Our relationship seemed irrelevant at this point. We just needed each other to survive.
Damien looked out at the view and stayed quiet for a long time. “How is she?”
“Fine.” I hated to admit it, but she was much safer there than she was with me. I used to be at the top of the food chain. I used to be the man who gave other men nightmares. But now I was dangerous…and not because I wanted to be. Everything I touched was destroyed. I was a slave to a man who got off on destruction. I had nothing to offer my wife…nothing to offer to my son. They were both better off without me.
Damien watched me for a long time. “So, that’s it? After all that?”
“Yeah.”
His eyes filled with disappointment. “It’s not right.”
“Doesn’t matter. She wanted to leave, and I let her. She made the right decision for herself and our son. I wouldn’t want her to have to see the man who’d raped her on a daily basis. I wouldn’t want her to watch me be a fuck boy to the man that tortured her. I don’t deserve her, and I know it.”