Not true. He had been hiding. Running away from the truth. He’d wanted to feel a connection and intimacy with a woman, but he’d run the moment he had a chance to experience it. No more.
He approached the cash register but Laura didn’t look up. He knew she was trying to ignore him. He stood at the counter and watched her fiddle with a stack of menus. “Laura?” He hated how his voice wavered. “I need to speak to you.”
“I’m working right now, Connor.” She still didn’t meet his eyes.
“It will only take a minute.” If she continued to ignore him, he would come back again and again until she listened.
She glanced up sharply and their gazes clashed and held. Laura was the first to look away. “Sure,” she said dully. “Let me tell my cousin that I’m taking a break.”
The tension coiled around his ribs, tighter and tighter, as she spoke to one of her cousins before she motioned for Connor to follow her out the front door. He was grateful that she was giving him time, but there was so much riding on this moment.
They walked to the corner of the diner before she faced him. “What’s going on?” she asked, not looking him directly in the eye.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said and you’re wrong. You are the right kind of woman.” She had demonstrated it every day with him. With her family and friends. “I realize you aren’t interested in long-term and I’ll accept that. But I want more than one time in bed with you.”
She stared at the passing traffic as if the cars demanded her notice. “I slept with you knowing it would be just that one time. It already ruined what we had. Why continue?”
He grasped her wrist before she walked away. “I want another chance.”
She looked at his large fingers encircling her wrist. “There’s no point. I’m not going to change the way I am and I don’t want you to change. I like the fact that you can make a commitment. That you want to. But I see the world differently.”
“I want to take you out tonight.” He swallowed hard as the blood pumped furiously through his veins. “On a date.”
He felt her pulse skip under his fingertips but her expression didn’t change. She slowly met his gaze. “Why?”
“Because I love you. I’m in love with you.” It scared him to say it. Out loud. In front of her. What if she didn’t believe him? What if she didn’t care? “I always have been.”
She started in shock. Yeah, that probably wasn’t the answer she had hoped for. He was tempted to abandon this conversation before he made it worse. But he wasn’t going to fall back into old habits. “I tried to hide my feelings for you. Ignore them,” Connor admitted. “But I can’t anymore. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You are in love with me?”
He heard the panic in her voice and knew he’d messed up. It was the wrong time, the wrong place to tell her. But he didn’t want to hold back anymore. He wanted to start moving forward. Now. And after tonight, Laura would be certain of his love for her. “Does that scare you?” he asked.
“Yes—I mean, no.” She pulled out of his grasp and dropped her gaze. “I mean...I’m not sure,” Laura said with a sigh.
Connor didn’t move as his stomach twisted into knots. He was too late. He should have made his move months ago but he had been reluctant to take a risk. Determined not to mess up a good thing. He’d managed to do that anyway.
Laura nervously swiped the tip of her tongue along her bottom lip. “I don’t know what to say.”
This was getting worse and worse. He wanted her to believe him. Accept his love. He wanted her to say the words back to him. Why was she acting as if this was bad news? “Is there someone else?” He wanted to double over as the hot pain of regret ripped through him.
“No,” Laura said with feeling. “Why would you think that? I just need to...”
“I told you because I wanted you to know. No pressure,” he said with an encouraging smile that hid the disappointment welling inside him. He had hoped—expected—his words would make everything fall into place. Instead he seemed to be making things worse. But that just meant he’d try harder. “And I want to spend tonight with you.”
She glanced at the diner window and jumped into action. As if she couldn’t wait to get away. “I have to get back to the register. I’ll talk to you later today.”
“I can wait,” he said but she had already made a dash for the door. Still, now he was sure he had the patience and determination he needed to win over Laura Dawson.